I’m glad I’m a man
Believe me please
Forget about yogurt
Diet coke and cottage cheese
I don’t complain to my friend
Bout the size of my chest
I know how to go anywhere
North South East and West
I’m just getting started with 2 measly beers
I’m not toasted and in tears
I already know what to wear
I spend all of 5 minutes fixin my hair
I don’t check my reflection
In everything shinning in my direction
I don’t whine and leave early
And when asked why I become whiny and surly
I’m glad I’m a man of so glad
This is the song every man should sing
I don’t have to sit and for some ring
I don’t gossip on friends and stab them in their back
I leave our differences out of the sack
I’ll never go psycho and threaten
To kill you
Or think that every guy is trying to steal you
Not to mention my ration, reason and logic too
I always know what time it is
And I always know exactly what to do
I live to watch sports
And play ball of all sorts
It is more please then dealing
With women all in all
If you say it won’t work
I won’t cry and beg why baby why
I won’t be bitter and remind you
YOU’RE A JERK!
Feel free to use me for your immediate pleasure
I won’t assume it is for sure by any measure
Yes I am so glad I’m a man
I don’t go through child delivery
I don’t get fussy in 28 days
And yes I’m glad my gender gets me a bigger raise
I’m a man not by chance
And thankful yes it’s true
I’m so glad I’m a man and not a woman like you

IM GLAD I'M A WOMAN I AM I AM
I DON’T LIVE ON BUDWEISER
SODA BEER NUTS AND SPAM
I DONT BRAG ABOUT CERTAIN SECTIONS
AND I WON’T DRIVE TO HELL BEFORE ASKING DIRECTIONS
I DON’T GET WASTED AND ACT LIKE A CLOWN
I DON KNOW HOW TO PUT THE DAMNED TOILET SEAT DOWN
I DON’T GRAD YOUR BUTT
AND MY OWN...WELL YOU KNOW WHAT
MY BELT BUCKLES ARE NOT HIDDEN UNDER MY BEER GUT
SO WHAT IS THAT ABOUT YOGURT AND COTTAGE CHEESE
TRY SOME PPUUHHLLEEAASSEE
I DON ‘RE-ADJUST’ MY CROTCH
LIKE SOMETHING BIG I THINK I’VE GOT
I DON’T BELCH IN PUBLIC
AND THINK IT IS FUNNY
THEN LOOK AT YOU AND SAY “SORRY HUNY!!”
I'M A WOMAN, NOT OF THAT KIND
I'M GLAD I'M A WOMAN
SO THIS SONG TO YOU I CAN SING
I HAVE A WEDDING RING
NOT SOME “BLING BLING”
AND MY BODY HAIR DON’T LOOK LIKE SHAG CARPETING
IT DOESN’T GROW FROM MY EARS OR COVER MY BACK
I DO TAKE ISSUES TO THE SACK
IT SEEMS THAT IS WHERE YOUR ONLY SANITY LIES AT
AND WHEN I LEAN OVER YOU, YOU CANT SEE 3 INCHES OF CRACK
AND WHAT ON MY HEAD WONT LEAVE WITH MY COMB
I WILL NEVER EVER WEAR A TOUPEE
ON ANY DAY NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY
I WILL NEVER PULL HAIR FROM ONE SIDE JUST TO COVER MY SHINY DOME
AND MY HAIRLINE WILL NEVER FREELY ROAM
I'M A WOMAN WITH TOO MUCH VANITY AND PRIDE
AND IF THAT’S SO BAD WHY ARE YOU STANDING BY MY SIDE
AND HONESTLY IT’S A PRIVILEGE TO SIT WHEN I PEE
YES I'M SO GLAD 'I'M A WOMAN YOU SEE
IF WE ALL WENT ON STRIKE AND STOPPED EXERCISING OUR CHILD BIRTH RIGHT
THEN THE WORLD MIGHT HAVE LESS FOOLS LIKE YOU
APPARENTLY
FORGET ABOUT “EGO”ENVY
AND LEAVE ALONE “MALE BONDING”
I DON’T CRUISE FOR CHICKS
AND JOIN HAIR CLUB FOR MEN OR THINK WITH MY “OTHER” HEAD
AND ONLY IN BED
I'M NOT A WOMAN BY CHANCE GOD LOOKED AHEAD AND TOOK A GLANCE
AND SAID YOU NEEDED SOMEONE TO HUMBLE YOU
I'M THANKFUL YES IT’S TRUE
I'M GLAD I'M A WOMAN AND NOT A MAN LIKE YOU!!!

I think that if God promised me to you and he told you about it,,,, then Im wondering if I spent to many years not sober,, or if he for some reason forgot to tell me that you were promised to me,,,,

Dont blame ya there.... I think I could find better things to risk my life for,, other reasons to end up in the back of a cop car, and I can get into enough trouble all on my own dont need anyone getting me in theirs

Wow maybe you need to change your profession,, hitch hiking doesnt seem very beneficial for you

Its like you are expecting something to come flying your way,, should you sit next to them for fear that you might get more for desert than you bargained for,,, or do you need to start carrying shields to your next dates

I guess that makes me a forklifting, CPR trained, toilet scrubbing, toothpaste cleaning, nurse ,, think I can get hired by my local assassin....think I'll try to get an interview

I guess that makes me a forklifting, CPR trained, toilet scrubbing, toothpaste cleaning, nurse ,, think I can get hired by my local assassin....think I'll try to get an interview

WELL actually yes you can,,, BTW I do clean my toilets,,, I dont have a maid,, but I dont think I would even if I could afford one,,, I dont want people serving me,,, talk to my above listed friend he might be looking to hire,,,

A mullet is the shemale version of the butch cut,,,

Its true,,, good conversation is two way, if she/he shows no interest in what you have to say when you are dating imagine if you marry her/him

Kinda shows desperation,,,even Jeffrey Dohmer could have faked it for one date,, seriously slow down,,, and when you call me and I call you back the next day PLEASE DONT ASK ME IF I WAS WITH MY MAN

Think I'd rather wipe toothpaste tops,,,

6. Doesn't like dogs ..
Of course we do we end up dating them,....
On another note,,,I agree,,loud chewing is icky,, right along with sloppy kissing

Good for your maid ,, guess thats why I am not a maid,,LOL I dont get it either,,, so what you have your maid clean your toothpaste tube and still you scrub the toilet!!!

Maid ARE YOU SERIOUS?? Ugh!! Atleast if the caps are dirty close them,, and why would the maid wipe YOUR toothpaste cap ,, you cant pay me enough for that,, I shoulda added dirty bathrooms to that also

Agreed ,, just because I dont say anything doesnt mean I am admitting you're right, it doesnt mean that I am wrong, it doesnt even mean I have nothing to say,, it does mean that I am to mature to argue the little things,, I have better things to waste my energy on, arguing is ignorance and you cant fight ignorance with ignorance,,

Bad Hygiene, cheap come ons, when I dont answer my phone and they like freak out, where was I who was I with, oh yeah and always talking about your ex or mine, not being creative, Uncontrolled bodily functions,,being inconsistent, calling me ten times when I dont call you back right away,, when Im at your house and I see that the tops of your bottles (toothpaste dishsoap shampoo etc..) are nasty

Bad Hygiene, cheap come ons, when I dont answer my phone and they like freak out, where was I who was I with, oh yeah and always talking about your ex or mine, not being creative, Uncontrolled bodily functions,,being inconsistent, calling me ten times when I dont call you back right away,, when Im at your house and I see that the tops of your bottles (toothpaste dishsoap shampoo etc..) are nasty

I think a lot of the issues that women have with their bodies is society and culture based ( or lack thereof) society puts a more stringent standard on women it seems then they do men,, for example when was the last time you heard a man referred to as having hippo hips, when men have a big belly it is something that gets laughed at and some even go outside with no shirt but what about that overweight women who throws on a bikini,, I think women have to learn to be healthy and not skinny,, there is a difference,, the two main reasons that married men cheat on their wives is 1. Because they dont act like they used to 2. Because they "let themselves go" that and weight is a control thing also when it seems you can control nothing else in your life you can control your weight and food