IM GLAD I'M A WOMAN I AM I AM
I DON’T LIVE ON BUDWEISER
SODA BEER NUTS AND SPAM
I DONT BRAG ABOUT CERTAIN SECTIONS
AND I WON’T DRIVE TO HELL BEFORE ASKING DIRECTIONS
I DON’T GET WASTED AND ACT LIKE A CLOWN
I DON KNOW HOW TO PUT THE DAMNED TOILET SEAT DOWN
I DON’T GRAD YOUR BUTT
AND MY OWN...WELL YOU KNOW WHAT
MY BELT BUCKLES ARE NOT HIDDEN UNDER MY BEER GUT
SO WHAT IS THAT ABOUT YOGURT AND COTTAGE CHEESE
TRY SOME PPUUHHLLEEAASSEE
I DON ‘RE-ADJUST’ MY CROTCH
LIKE SOMETHING BIG I THINK I’VE GOT
I DON’T BELCH IN PUBLIC
AND THINK IT IS FUNNY
THEN LOOK AT YOU AND SAY “SORRY HUNY!!”
I'M A WOMAN, NOT OF THAT KIND
I'M GLAD I'M A WOMAN
SO THIS SONG TO YOU I CAN SING
I HAVE A WEDDING RING
NOT SOME “BLING BLING”
AND MY BODY HAIR DON’T LOOK LIKE SHAG CARPETING
IT DOESN’T GROW FROM MY EARS OR COVER MY BACK
I DO TAKE ISSUES TO THE SACK
IT SEEMS THAT IS WHERE YOUR ONLY SANITY LIES AT
AND WHEN I LEAN OVER YOU, YOU CANT SEE 3 INCHES OF CRACK
AND WHAT ON MY HEAD WONT LEAVE WITH MY COMB
I WILL NEVER EVER WEAR A TOUPEE
ON ANY DAY NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY
I WILL NEVER PULL HAIR FROM ONE SIDE JUST TO COVER MY SHINY DOME
AND MY HAIRLINE WILL NEVER FREELY ROAM
I'M A WOMAN WITH TOO MUCH VANITY AND PRIDE
AND IF THAT’S SO BAD WHY ARE YOU STANDING BY MY SIDE
AND HONESTLY IT’S A PRIVILEGE TO SIT WHEN I PEE
YES I'M SO GLAD 'I'M A WOMAN YOU SEE
IF WE ALL WENT ON STRIKE AND STOPPED EXERCISING OUR CHILD BIRTH RIGHT
THEN THE WORLD MIGHT HAVE LESS FOOLS LIKE YOU
APPARENTLY
FORGET ABOUT “EGO”ENVY
AND LEAVE ALONE “MALE BONDING”
I DON’T CRUISE FOR CHICKS
AND JOIN HAIR CLUB FOR MEN OR THINK WITH MY “OTHER” HEAD
AND ONLY IN BED
I'M NOT A WOMAN BY CHANCE GOD LOOKED AHEAD AND TOOK A GLANCE
AND SAID YOU NEEDED SOMEONE TO HUMBLE YOU
I'M THANKFUL YES IT’S TRUE
I'M GLAD I'M A WOMAN AND NOT A MAN LIKE YOU!!!