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Topic:
Tell us your dreams.
Edited by
48Young
on
Thu 02/15/18 04:47 PM
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I'll play.
I always wanted to have a quant little coffee -slash- bookshop somewhere with a small town feel. I gave up my little dream because I turned out to be pretty good at what I do now, and I enjoy being pretty good at what I do more than taking that big of a risk. And also because Barns and Noble took my idea and super sized it into an entity impossible to compete with. Lol! |
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Topic:
Tell us your dreams.
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What dreams and asperations have you held onto? Are you living them? If not, are you still actively working toward them? or Did you give them up? if so why so? |
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Topic:
Drugs and Dating
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I feel even excessive use of alcohol can alter a personality and make people act unpredictably.
If I like someone, I'd rather they stay the person I like. Then there's the illegal thing. I have respect for the law, even if I don't always agree with it. |
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Topic:
No physical attraction?
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Note: not a personal experience, just something I thought could be interesting discussion.
Have you ever been on a date (maybe a blind date/setup) with someone you initially had no physical attraction to, only to discover so much inner attraction you had to see them again? If Yes, did your inner attraction change your physical attraction to them and how? |
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Topic:
Advice, opinion
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What could you do if you fall in love in 2 different person in same time , ( its felts right even tho it's complicated) Come on.. when you love someone.. truly love them you give ALL of you to them... you don't split it. its not love you feel. ^ Saved me some typing. ^ |
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Topic:
another school shooting
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It's a horrifying tragedy every time this happens, whether mental illness is involved or not. My own family has lost an innocent to senseless gun violence. Because of our own tragedy, I've been having more gun law discussions than I care to think of. But it's a necessary subject. My standard answer to what should be done to control senseless gun violence in my own town of Kansas City, is to look to New York City. New York City, from a population of over 8.5 million, reported only 290 homicides for the year in December of 2017. Kansas City, with a population under 1/2 million, reported 149 homicides in 2017. I don't know the statistics in Parkland, Florida, but it for my own town of Kansas City, I say we need more of whatever New York City has got. The only solution is to barn the law of buying gun. It can only be used by the police, militry and security guide. Why should a baby carry gun? I'll have to respectfully disagree that it's the only solution, or that it's the best solution. I think stricter requirements to legally own will bring the kind of purchases which result in senseless killing way down, while not overly infringing on a citizen's right to protect themselves. I truly believe that a total ban on guns will only drive more people to gain them through illegal means, while leaving law abiding citizens defenseless. |
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Uncanny: surpassing the ordinary, usual and normal People say uncanny all the time, but you rarely hear anyone refer to the usual or normal as canny. Yup, Its like disgusted. How many contented people are referred to as gusted? "I was so disgusted but things changed and I got regusted" LOL I am pleasantly gusted you found a similar scenario. Yeah, that doesn't work for me at all. 
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Topic:
another school shooting
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It's a horrifying tragedy every time this happens, whether mental illness is involved or not.
My own family has lost an innocent to senseless gun violence. Because of our own tragedy, I've been having more gun law discussions than I care to think of. But it's a necessary subject. My standard answer to what should be done to control senseless gun violence in my own town of Kansas City, is to look to New York City. New York City, from a population of over 8.5 million, reported only 290 homicides for the year in December of 2017. Kansas City, with a population under 1/2 million, reported 149 homicides in 2017. I don't know the statistics in Parkland, Florida, but it for my own town of Kansas City, I say we need more of whatever New York City has got. |
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Topic:
cheating
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It happens all the time. You fell in love with the wonderful idea, not the liar. Anyone can make that idea seem real for so short a time. And we all crash hard when we realize the idea we fell in love with was nothing but smoke and mirrors.
Sorry for your bad experience. |
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I can be just as happy being single as I am in a relationship. I’m not going to DEEpend on somebody else for my happiness. I choose to be happy each and every day that God gives me, and when I’m feeling lonely I have my family and friends  . I’ve DEEcided to wait for as long as it takes to find the RIGHT person for me and not settle for anything less than I DEEserve  
Agree. I'm with you. I would not try to find happiness through a relationship. The only relationships that have ever seemed "right" to me, grew organically. I like being in a relationship, but can like being single too. I'm a different kind of happy when single. An empowered, "master of my universe" kind of happy. When in a relationship, it's more of a team effort type of happy, with the added bonus of having someone to share my happy with. I suppose that's really the defining edge relationship happy has on single happy for me. |
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I've made major changes in my life philosophy since my last significant relationship. I've been alone for a long time. I have no idea how I might change with a significant relationship. I want to imagine my life will have a finer quality than it does right now. I really can't be sure. I know I am willing to try to find out. After being married for 25 years, one of the things I had to deal with is rediscovering myself as myself. I had to shift from a 'we' mindset to a 'me' mindset. It was more than just trying to remember who I was. I had to accept the loss of companionship at an intimate level. I had to rewrite my life handbook. I found that there were many aspects about me that were only effective to my contentment while they were shared with someone I love. Alone, there was a loss of appeal and I had to adapt to those new conditions to regain my inner peace. While I can still enjoy some of the things, I enjoy them for markedly different reasons. Its my expectation that when I do find someone special, There will be another shift in my reasons and levels of contentment. We will discover things that give us joy merely by sharing the experience. Things that might be mundane when viewed from being single. There is also the expectation that things I find joy in now will be enhanced. Birdsong will sound much sweeter, rain will taste more vivid and sunsets will have more substance when sharing them with someone I love. Above all, tho, will be the ever-present feeling that I belong to life. That I am not invisible, that I matter to someone. That someone wants to be in my presence, not for reason but for love. A deep understanding that is shared between two people in such a way that we feel we are two halves of one being. That was lovely Tom4Uhere. I raise my glass in a toast of rainwater to that! 
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Does being in a relationship bring out the best in you?
No. Compatible people, people that are effective mirrors, supporters, communicators, emoters, and listeners do. Does anyone else ever feel that way?
I think it might depend on what people focus on from their previous relationships. I mean someone may read the OP and focus on the fights that ended their last 3 relationships or something. Some may just read it on a dating site while they are seeking a relationship and then fantasize themselves into the relationship in their head and think about how they "would" behave or feel and rationalize that it "would" bring out the best of them, so they tell you that relationships do bring out the best in them. Or is it just hormones?
It could be. I mean if none of your past relationships lasted more than 6 months and all you remember is how happy you were for a short time and your own happiness and how you acted motivated by it is what you classify as "the best in you" then it might just be the hormones. Some different perspectives. All good points. Personally, my relationships have been few and long term. The longevity of a relationship would definitely be a key factor to determine if this feeling is true or induced by chocolate...I mean love. Lol! |
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If nothing else, our entire society is designed around people being paired up. In addition to being fun (hopefully) and easier to perform life chores when you have a teammate, when everyone knows you are paired, disruptions like whether or not to worry about sexual attraction is eliminated from all exchanges. Who is in charge of what, is preset, for the most part. All sorts of status-based concerns are resolved in ways that most people recognize. And more than anything else, one HUGE part of the all-important "I am on the right track with my life" sensibility is resolved positively. The pragmatic answer is always appreciated. All great reasons for what appears to be a fairly common reaction to being half of a couple. Thanks! 
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Well ...being in a relationship definitely make some parts in my life a little better... Lol.. four hands are better than two..lol  Should have seen that coming!
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Uncanny: surpassing the ordinary, usual and normal
People say uncanny all the time, but you rarely hear anyone refer to the usual or normal as canny. |
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I think it's true for me. I'm perfectly at ease with my life when I'm single, but sometimes I feel like everything else just clicks a little better for me when I'm in a good relationship.
Does anyone else ever feel that way? Or is it just hormones? 
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Topic:
Valentine’s Gift
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Romantic evening alone with no phones, tablets or computers.
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Edited by
48Young
on
Wed 02/14/18 01:50 PM
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I have an ex who is still a very good friend. The men I've dated since haven't been too happy about it. It's not like we hang out all the time or anything, so it's never been a real issue.
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Scrummy - pleasing to the senses.
Always thought it was funny that it sou ds so close to scummy but means the opposite. |
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Edited by
48Young
on
Tue 02/13/18 08:05 PM
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I use sayings, but not for avoidance or coping.
I choose my battles then deal with them promptly. I suppose “don’t put off tomorrow what you could do today”, fits me. When it comes to little issues, they might get an “it is what it is”, or a “don’t sweat the small stuff”. |
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