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Community > Posts By > harrypotter2
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Absolutely Scintillating stuff.
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What a stink.
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Topic:
Beer Troubleshooting
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Cheers
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Topic:
Jelly and Jam
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Depends on what sort of jelly you're using.
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Topic:
A womans prayer
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Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN Now that isn't nice
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MRS BET LYNCH Proprietress ROVERS RETURN CORONATION STREET WEATHERFIELD 15th May. 2009. NEWTON & RIDLEY BREWERY LTD WEATHERFIELD Dear Sir, I would like to report an incident which occurred to my new bar cellar man, Mr Jack Duckworth. As you well know, owing to the refurbishment of the ROVERS after the recent fire, a great new deal of equipment has been installed. The tragic accident to Mr Duckworth occurred during the tapping of the new type of barrel for the first time. A brief description of the incident is as follows:- The first thing he had to do was to see that the bunghole was clear so that there would be no trouble in setting the cork hole and bunghole on the same level. To achieve this, he bored an eye-hole near the cork-hole on about the same level as the bung-hole. Unfortunately, there was a pot-hole near the manhole in the cellar floor, and in trying to drill the eyehole, he slipped and, instead of inserting the bung in the bund-hole, he drove the bung-hole up his arsehole. He was bending at the time, and the bunghole went clean through his arsehole, and out through his ear-hole. You will gather, as I am sure, that the poor chap was in something of a dilemma. He could either put his arm in the cork-hole and draw the barrel through the bunghole, or put his foot through his arm-hole, and pull the barrel through his arsehole. He decided to do neither, but to cut a new hole near the cork-hole, which was blocking up his arsehole. The eye-hole, which you might term, the peep-hole, enabled him to see his ear-hole through his arsehole, but preventing him from tapping the barrel, because in putting his foot through his armhole, he caught his bollocks in the bung-hole. So, in desperation, he stuck a pipe in the cork-hole near the bung-hole, laid the barrel on the man-hole near the pothole, drove a wedge between his bollocks and the bunghole, and pulled the barrel backwards through his arsehole. Yours sincerely, Bet Lynch P.S. He was then able to tap the barrel with little or no inconvenience whatsoever. 
That was sure a lot of holes.
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Topic:
Bigger Boobs
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Topic:
You Gotta Love This Guy !!!
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Now that was funny
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The Australian one cracks me up
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Teetotalatariasim rules
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Drat. I fell for it.
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Topic:
An Erotic Interlude
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Topic:
What Religion is your Bra ?
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Heard about the new American bra?
One Yank and it's off.
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Topic:
TULANE STUDY (YIKES)
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<<<<<<<<<<<<<< experienced at first hand.
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Topic:
Making Gloves
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That's 'handy' to know.
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Topic:
A Mother's Dictionary
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Topic:
Modern weather forecast
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It was April and the Aboriginals in a remote part of Northern Australia asked their new elder if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was an elder in a modern community he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like. Nevertheless, to be on the safe side, he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the tribe should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he had an idea. He walked out to the telephone booth on the highway, called the Bureau of Meteorology and asked, 'Is the coming winter in this area going to be cold?' The meteorologist responded, 'It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold.' So the elder went back to his people and told them to collect even more wood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the Bureau of Meteorology again. 'Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?' The meteorologist again replied, 'Yes, it's going to be a very cold winter.' The elder again went back to his community and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the elder called the Bureau again. 'Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?' he asked. 'Absolutely,' the man replied. 'It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever.' 'How can you be so sure?' the elder asked.. The weatherman replied, 'Our satellites have reported that the Aboriginals in the north are collecting firewood like crazy, and that's always a sure sign.'
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Topic:
UK 1971
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I met Tom for the first time in person yesterday and we were in a bar having a beer with some other local friends last night.
He had us rolling on the floor with his jokes and sense of humour. Thanks for a great evening Tom. Hope we can all get together and do it again soon.
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Topic:
The Silent Treatment
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A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other 'The silent treatment.' Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM ' He left it where he knew she would find it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.' We men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
We men are not equipped for these kinds of contests. (Works for me ) lol
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