It'd be much better if you tell him before he finds out himself. And if he's unable to understand that it's not your feelings or fault, then he's not the right guy for you. Hopefully he'll understand and work with you on that.

A bottle with a flaming rag in it? Throw me!

Julia

OMG! I think I was almost the victim of this kinda thing. It's got me sooo scared that I'm afraid to go out anymore.

Armor, Thumper? It must be powder puff. REAL football doesn't require armor. Of course REAL football is strictly hands-off too, except for the goalie.

Women always seem to see/hear/think the wrong things. Or do we just do/say things at the wrong times?

What about from Wales a few generations removed? Does that count?

TWEEK!!! TWEEK!!! AHHHHHHHH! The pressure....It's too much!

You're right about that one. Now I'm gonna have to find a pot cause you got my stomach rumblin.

I'll take most any excuse to get my hands on a girl. Of course then I gotta deal with the cat hair.

I'm lost.....Hey!.......this isn't myspace!?!?

LOL Maybe they're trying to tell you something. Sometimes I think things would have been easier if I did swing that way.

One day a little girl asked her teacher about death. The teacher was a little surprised by the question from one so young.

She asked the little girl, "Why do you wanna know about death?"

The little girl said, "Cause today I found a cat in the street and I think it was dead."

"Why do you think it was dead?" the teacher asked.

"Because I bent down and pissed in it's ear and it didn't move."

"What?" the teacher exclaimed, "You did what to the cat?"

"I bent down and went "Pssssssst!" in it's ear."



Don't be too quick to assume things.

A squad of soldiers were assigned to a post in the jungle. Upon arrival, their 1st sergeant briefed them on everything they would need to know about their new home.

At the end of this briefing the sergeant mentioned one last thing:
"There's this annoying snake that lives around here in the jungle. It's a black and orange striped snake. We call it a stripper. They're venemous and prodigious and just a real nuisance. Any time you see one, go ahead and kill it. The easiest way is to grab it by the tail and run your hand up it to snap it's neck."

The next day the soldiers went out into the jungle. After a couple hours they realized that one man had gone missing. They searched for hours, but were unable to find him. They gave up for the night. Early the next morning, the missing man stumbled into camp. He was torn up bad and covered in blood. He stumbled into his sergeant's arms and collapsed.

"What happened to you?" the sergeant said.

"Well," said the soldier, "I was out in the jungle with you guys when I saw one of those strippers you were talking about. I figured I'd go ahead and kill it, like you said. So, I grabbed it by the tail and ran my hand up to snap it's neck....and found my thumb up the ass of the biggest damn tiger you've ever seen!"

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog at
Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was
starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.
I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a
car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard, but WALMART WON'T let me shop there anymore!!

There's still a few of us left here in the states. A couple of patriotic, but type 1 diabetics. :)

If you live closer.....

You look extremely good to me. What does his opinion matter? Mine's much better. ;)