A squad of soldiers were assigned to a post in the jungle. Upon arrival, their 1st sergeant briefed them on everything they would need to know about their new home.

At the end of this briefing the sergeant mentioned one last thing:
"There's this annoying snake that lives around here in the jungle. It's a black and orange striped snake. We call it a stripper. They're venemous and prodigious and just a real nuisance. Any time you see one, go ahead and kill it. The easiest way is to grab it by the tail and run your hand up it to snap it's neck."

The next day the soldiers went out into the jungle. After a couple hours they realized that one man had gone missing. They searched for hours, but were unable to find him. They gave up for the night. Early the next morning, the missing man stumbled into camp. He was torn up bad and covered in blood. He stumbled into his sergeant's arms and collapsed.

"What happened to you?" the sergeant said.

"Well," said the soldier, "I was out in the jungle with you guys when I saw one of those strippers you were talking about. I figured I'd go ahead and kill it, like you said. So, I grabbed it by the tail and ran my hand up to snap it's neck....and found my thumb up the ass of the biggest damn tiger you've ever seen!"

Omg, lol. Where do you find these. I gotta keep a lookout for your jokes dude. I coughed up water when I got to the end. I needed that. Thanx
- Chris

ROFLMAO