Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dog at
Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was
starting the Purina Diet again. Although I probably shouldn't, because
I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds
before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that
it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is
nutritionally complete, so I was going to try it again.
(I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog
food poisoned me.
I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a
car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack, he was
laughing so hard, but WALMART WON'T let me shop there anymore!!

OH MY GOSH

THAT SOUNDS LIKE SOMETING I WOULD DO!!

Okay, that was probably the best thing I've heard in a month. I have got to remember that. It's like one of those "Here's your sign" things. Freakin great.
- Chris

So hilarious!!

lmaoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!