A man woke up every morning and passed gas. After about eight or nine
years of marriage, his wife finally said, if you fart any more, you'll
fart your guts out. Being a butcher, the wife decided to put pig scraps
in his pants so he would wake up, and not do it anymore. She put the
scraps in his pants that night.

He woke up in the morning and went across the hall to the bathroom. Two
long hours later, he came out and stated, honey, you were right about me
farting my guts out BUT WITH THE GRACE OF THE DEAR LORD AND THESE TWO
FINGERS. I GOT THEM BACK IN THERE.