I'm a rubber sole mate. I bounce back.

Ahhh I see your profile says you're seeking intimate analretentive encounter. How's that working for ya? Ha ha ha ha!!! You're my soul mate!

I know, I know. The reason I can't find my soul mate is because I'm a disgusting flattulating arrogant bastard. But you gotta admit I'm freaking funny.

I've been a sole mate. Just call me matt. Door matt.

Open wide! Pppppffffttttt!!! I LOVE YOU!!! Ha ha ha!!!

Kirk likes you. Wants you to fart in his mouth. Ha ha ha!!!

SOUL MATE! That's just huge. I'd just be happy to settle with someone who thinks my farts are funny. Pppppppffffttttttt!!! Ha ha ha ha!!! Baby steps.

....oh man that made my day!!! Having that conversation with my fictitional "soul mate" would be like the ultimate cross between electroshock therapy and pure realistic zen. And people wonder why I laughed till I cried and pissed my pants during the speed dating scene in the movie '40 year old virgin'. Its because THAT'S THE DUMPSTER JUICE LOW QUALITY OF THE FREAKING LOSER SOCIOPSYCHOTIC DRAMA SELFISH VANITY DRIVEN INSECURE NEUROTICS WE HAVE TO CHOOSE FROM!!!!!!! Whoever wrote that scene has experienced exactly what I have in the dating world!!! CRAZY PEOPLE!!! HELLO!!! ANYONE OUT THERE?!!! SMOKING CRACK AND WORSHIPING SATAN IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR!!! AND ANYONE WHO DOES SMOKE CRACK AND WORSHIPS SATAN IS NOT MY SOUL MATE NO MATTER WHAT THE VOICES IN HER HEAD TELL HER!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha!!!!

Bwa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!! Freaking brilliant!!!!! I can't believe I wrote that!!! I'm a genious!!! Gotta have a soul to be a soul mate I guess. I can't find my soul mate in a sea of soul-less people.

I'd probably crap myself if I met my "soul mate". "Oh really? You like traveling the world on motorcycles instead of smoking meth and hiding in a closet? And you have over 10,000 miles on YOUR own motorcycle instead of 10,000 miles on your mattress? And you're childless by choice instead of living by vaginal aptitude relationship trial and error/ where there's a womb there's a way mentality? And you have a degree too? Oh and you like physics? Wow! And you have modern conservative views instead of believing in vanity driven idiot hollywierd mentality? And moral and responsible ethics instead of 420 and video game mentality? And you have a great attitude and work ethic instead of believing everything should be handed to you, and blaming everyone and everything for your own blatant personal responsibilities? You believe in building a happy life instead of destroying someone elses? Wow! You enjoy life and celebrate it as it is precious and short, and believe in helping others out of simple kindness instead of being out for all you can get and leaving a path of hatred and bitterness in your wake of despair? You mean you understand yourself fully and accept who you are and are comfortable and content with yourself instead of being completely violently neurotic and overly insecure to the point of being committed every time you look in the mirror or at the cover of 'Vogue'? And you play guitar and piano and can understand theory and modes instead of playing 'guitar hero', smoking tons of weed, and can't get out of bed till noon? Wow! And I can actually trust you with absolute trust and my life if it actually called for it while we are out west climbing a mountain together instead of having to hide my wallet, checkbook, credit cards, and all the steak knives in the drawer so I don't get one in my back when I'm sleeping because you're bi polar and felt you didn't need to take your medication today? Wow! And you're able to move foreward in your life experiences selflessly instead of living in the past angry and bitter almost borderline tourettes over an ex you haven't seen or talked to in 12 years and just won't let it go? Wow! You're special"!!!!

I am joking. I do realize the definition of "soul mate". It may exist for some. But in my personal life and world- it hasn't happened yet. Blessed in life, unlucky in love.

I like turtles.

I've experienced both.

Sole mates......its a psycho that expects to walk all over you in a relationship with the soles of their shoes. Soul mates......its a psycho that expects to bleed you dry including sucking every bit of life out of you including your soul.

Congrats.

And I ended a freindship today with someone whom I've known for 10 years who has a coping issue and a blaming everyone for their own stupidity to the point of delusional reckless behavior issue. My safety comes first. Stupid hurts. But I'm sorrys really hurt.

No. Seriously. Both in freindships and relationships you have to be overcautious. I went on one casual dinner date with a nut who turned out to be a stalker and tried to burn my house down. A simple background check and I would have seen she had a history of such behavior. I put trust into a dangerous person. Hence the wall of cautious behavior.

...I smell a nice guy thread coming. Or impending doom. Neither smells good.

...date a nutcase. Just once.