Oh, Child of Mine;

Now in my 60s I realize many things I taught you were wrong.
For only if I'd had the wisdom I now possess might your journey be a bit easier....

To see you struggling in many ways I know too well, makes me sick with inadequacy.

It was my responsibility to teach you what you needed to know about life.
How to deal with those life challenges which really try our resolve.
Had I known then what I know now, I might have saved you from those things.

All I can do is ask your patience as I try to impart the wisdom I've gained thru trial and error to guide you to a better path.

Its my job, my responsibility as a parent, to guide you till I die. A dedication I make to you as your dad to always look out for you.

You might see it as nagging or meddling but it is purely given from my love to you, my child.
If nothing else in this whole Universe is more important, let it be known my love and hope for you to be healthy and wise as you grow older is more important to me.

Yes, dad is always trying to change you, not to hurt you but to make you more of what you could be.

LONELY

Loneliness is like when you look at your face in the mirror. Unique to you.

I grew up in the country, on a farm. My only sibling is a sister who is 8 years older than I.
In the 60s and early 70s I rode my bicycle everywhere I wanted to go, I had friends.

In school, I rode a full bus 26 miles one way everyday, had friends on the bus and friends in school.

In college I had friends in the dorm and friends in class.

In the service, I had friends and subordinates. Had 4 small children at home and a wife.

In my job, I had friends, eventually subordinates (who were like a 2nd family) and at home raised 4 children to young adulthood.

When the kids grew up and moved out and my marriage ended I suffered from "Empty Nest Syndrome"
I went from a life of activity and turmoil to dead silence. I spent years in dead silence, only my own reflection in the mirror to talk to.

During my formative years in the country I spend a lot of time alone. I read a lot of books (mostly fiction). My imagination was my friend. You could say, "I spent a lot of time in my head"

After work, after family...I again spent a lot of time in my head. I now watch movies for entertainment, Movies cause my imagination to soar. I write, I compose and I work on projects.

What I don't do is focus on the fact I am alone most of the time. My GF and I have an agreement to keep our together-time special. We keep it special because we spend time together sporadically and without schedule. Sometimes one day a week, sometimes a full weekend and sometimes a week long tryst. We are NOT joined at the hip. It makes our relationship strong because when we are together it is special.

How YOU deal with being alone is governed by your life experiences. If you have always been around a lot of people and place your self-value in how others see you, being alone can be hell for you.

If you raised a family for decades and now everyone is gone, it can cause 'empty nest' but if you are aware it is a temporary condition which only you can control, you can get yourself clear of those feelings of loneliness.

One thing being alone allows you to do is you now have the ability to remake yourself as you see fit. It can be a slow process. While you do this, the trick is to not 'focus' on the loneliness. Keep yourself entertained (distracted) while you remake yourself to be who you want to be now.
Let the turmoil and adopted stress fade away from your life and seek contentment within yourself.
Realize its Okay to be alone but being lonely is a form of depression which can affect how you appear to others. Get a handle on the loneliness within you and master being alone...Your rock steady presence will attract others.

Looking back, its much easier to see in hindsight than while you are battling loneliness. It is a difficult row to hoe but since it is your own life and you are the one living it, who is more qualified to make those changes than you?

You can’t bite what doesn’t exist

sound romantic