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Ozzy's my husband!!!

Well rule # one. If you call him first then he isn't pursuing you your pursuing him. Don't make it that easy for him. The only way to know if he is remotley interested in anything other then sex is to stop calling him and see how long it takes befor he starts missing you.

I really wanted to say that I shared this with my 14 yearold daughter, As a life lesson and the little girl in the first poem reminded me much of her. Well she took the poem with much dismay, She said "mom this is a stupid poem and I don't like poems I didn't write" I was sad, yet again I didn't break through the barrier she has built with her teenage emotions. Well I named this forum Triumph because I had just read her "About me" on Myspace. and Guess what she posted. Thats right!!! Something I shared with her. Joy Joy one for the home team!!!!

One day a man was walking along the seashoreHe noticed that during the night many seashellsand starfish had washed apon the beach.Thoroughly enjoying the morning sun and cool sea air, the man walked for miles. As he strolled along, he noticed a small figuredancing in the distance. It made him chuckle to think of someone celabrating life in such an uninhibited way. As he drew closer however, it became apprent that the figure was not dancing.Instead, she seemed to be repeatedly performing some ritual.He drew nearer still and noticed that the small figure was a child. She was methodically picking up starfish and tossing them into the surf.He paused for a moment, puzzled, and then asked,"Why are you throwing these starfish?""it is high tide," she replied "If I leave them on the beach, the sun will soon dry them and they willdie. I am throwing them into the ocean so they can live." The man considered her actions, impressedwith the childs thoughtfulness. Then he motionedup and down the miles of beach. "There must be thousands of starfish along here," he said, "Youcannot possibly make a difference."The young girl stopped. Her face darkened. She chewed thoughtfully on her lower lip, "you'reprobably right," She said softly. She looked down at the sand. Then she leaned over, carefully picked up another starfish, pulled back and arched itgently into the sea.With a tone of gentle defiance, she said,"But I made a difference for that one."Do.You.Remember.When. Getting high meant swinging on the playground.... The worst thing boys could do to you was give you cooties.... Your mom was your hero&& you were marring Daddy..... Wearing skirts didnt make you a slut.... &&war was only a card game. Only skinned knees hurt && only toys were broken. We only smoked bike tires....&& Life was so carefree.... Its crazy looking back on this and just thinking.... That I actully wanted to grow up....

For those men that beg thier women for the same, don't ask for what you wont take. LoL sorry guys it's too funny

Hi beachdog 50 glad to see you liked it. Tee Hee Hee

Hmmmm I looked at your page and I don't fit your criteria. I'm 31 too old? LOL I'd never think of myself as old.

I have yet to see a profile that shows more then the head. There is an awful lot of men on hear that are still married and say they are separated. Not ok by me. Make it or break it. Don't drag me in it.

Your picking the wrong Kind of women, And you have to sweeten the pot. Make it a date somewhere unattached. Starbucks has been my fave. and then work from there. Never ask her on the first chat session. That really scares the ladies. Don't put out the expectation that they have any attachments at that point. Try to make it near there workplace. to show that You will go out of your way. Women want to be perused and appreciated. But never trapped.

Thank for the warm welcome. Love to see people laugh!!!!! Ha Ha Ha

Him!!!

LOCK ALL THE DOORS!

A man breaks into a house to look for money and
guns. Inside, he finds a
young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a
chair.
While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed the
convict gets on top of her,
kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the
bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to
his wife, "Listen, this
guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes!
He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't
seen a woman in years.
I saw how he kissed your neck.
If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain. Do
whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you.
This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets
angry, he'll kill us both.
Be strong, honey. I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He
was whispering in my ear.
He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and
asked if we had any
Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be
strong, Honey, I love you too!

Skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him.

The big guy sees the little guy staring at him looks down and says: "7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown."

The white man faints and falls to the floor.

The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"

In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you the answers to the questions everyone always asks me.....I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch private, my testicles weighs 3 pounds each, and my name is Turner Brown."

The small guy says: "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said, "Turn around."

From the perspective of a man. This is LOL



My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. One day "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome.

She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.

Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word

She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.

When she reached the top she pulled off her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!

With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.....we couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."

And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car........

One evening after work, a man drove his secretary home after she had a little too much to drink at a party. Although nothing happened, he decided not to mention it to his wife. Later that night, the man and his wife were driving to a movie when he spotted a high-heeled shoe hidden under the passenger seat. Pointing to something out the passenger window to distract his wife, he picked up the shoe and tossed it out of his window.

They arrived at the theater a short time later and were about to get out of the car when his wife asked, "Honey, have you seen my other shoe?"

That's good what do you do for cheese cake?

That's great, very original, But I would think that made the women think twice about taking him home that night. jk

I myself have been married and loved the partnership that it created, How ever I do belive that you can be commited with out a pice of papper, Jesus says to the women at the well that she has many husbands. So really in Gods eyes I think the momment you enter into intamacy you have made a commitment, not that we all live by that. Again it's the differance of God and State. Legal marriage or commen law.

That is proubly the worst thing I have ever herd, wasn't the glitter itchy?