Wow. I figured some of these answers would have more substance......

Now, I didn't say what kind of substance........

OMG...

No frickin' way....... but I had to think about it for about 30 seconds.

Here!

That must have been one interesting thread topic!

Yeah, it's funny when that happens. I remember a few weeks ago, a real active controversial thread that was actually interesting to read....when I went to post.... ZAP! It's deleted.

OMG...that almost could have been my story with my ex. Made me shudder when it made me remember...... Think I'm gonna be sick...

There's advantages and disadvantages to being single OR matched up. Sometimes, being single is NOT a choice, and other times it is. Personally, I don't want to grow old alone. I want someone to do it with on the old rocking chair! And the companionship of course.

I think many of us choose singledom, particularly after coming out of devastating, destructive or abusive relationships. It takes a long time to be ready for a partner sometimes, and even though we miss companionship, the choice is often one of whether to be single and reasonably content, or paired up and miserable.
I also think as we get older, we are more selective about the persons we are open to becoming involved with. JMO.

We were brought up on Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast!

He said affection folks! Not fornication..... but yeah... I like PDA.

I prefer to know someone a little at a time, and would like to know all about the things that are important. Surprises from time to time are nice, and keep the flames of interest burning.

Name brand clothes don't matter to me, but name brand products, particularly some food items do taste better than generic.

I think I'd like to see something other than inflammatory political threads that have been done to death. Good idea Fear.

I agree with you on getting tired of politics.

When did these letters go out? I haven't seen one.

This is very true.

Hate to agree here, but this is a possibility. Someone else could be paying her some attention and making her feel things she thinks she is missing with you.

You didn't say how long you have been married, but do you compliment your wife? Let her feel attractive to you? Could be she let you know about the compliments for a reason.

"Defining herself" could be the male version of "Needing Space" and is a vague explanation. My guess is she didn't "suddenly" decide to separate, but something else is the catalyst for this.

Counseling is good if you can get her to go. Maybe you will find out what is really going on.

There is another possibility here. If the OP is referring to sexual advances, that is. He may not have a strong sex drive. He may use the excuse he wants her to initiate, so he doesn't feel pressured to initiate himself.... and then when she does, he is reluctant and becomes irritated because now he must respond in some way. I think the guy may have sexual issues.

Jim, I went through a long period of 10 years just as you describe. It seemed I couldn't stay interested in any one beyond a few dates. I had a very low tolerance for poor behavior, and if it reared its head, I would drop the person. Also, the red flags were visible very early on in some cases, and I knew better than to step in that again.
Sometimes, it's your internal radar telling you that either you are not ready, or you've intuitively picked up on a red flag.
What I found depressing during that time in my life was wondering if there was something damaged inside myself....if I had become emotionally crippled.
I DID go on to love again after 10 long years. You will to.