bgeorge...I'm very sorry to hear that.

I've been finding strange things on my computer lately. I've come to the obvious conclusion, as any normal person would, that one or both of my cats have been surfing the web late at night. Here are some of the reasons I believe this:

* Watching Me – They have both been watching me on the computer for months. They chase the mouse pointer on the screen. So I know they are watching my every move. If they can fetch a paper ball, they can certainly understand and operate a computer.
* Tutorial Software – I found "Computers for Cats" software.
* Cat Games – There was a game called "Chase the Mouse".
* Music – I found tunes such as "Cat Scratch Fever", "Cats in the Cradle", "Look What the Cat Dragged In".
* Strange Credit Card Statement Charges – I got a charge for a web site (www.dirtycats.com).
* Kitty Porn – I found evidence of Kitty porn all over my hard drive.

Then my worst fear was confirmed last night. I woke up at about 1:30 am to get a glass of water. I peered around the corner into the office and found both of them at my computer. I slowly approached and found one working the keyboard while the other ran the mouse. I confronted them immediately. They both looked shocked. They claimed that they were just catching up on current events. Needless to say, I wasn't buying it. They had about 3 windows minimized with titles such as "Bad Kitty Webcam", "www.match.cat.com". There was also a chat window open with things typed in it such as "Are you licking your ass?" and "Are you in your cat bed?"

They could download viruses on my computer, and who knows what else. So I figured it was time to stage another intervention. I had recently put them through rehab to get them off the catnip and whiskey. I'm going to have to protect my computer. I don't mind them checking the weather or catching up on current events. But, I just can't have them abusing their computer privileges.

Warning to all cat owners. Keep a close eye on their Internet usage. Especially when they are kitties. There are predators out there that just might take advantage of them.

Of course, I'm totally kidding around. I'm not that delusional. I just like to have fun sometimes. If one person gets a chuckle out of this, then my job is done.

Have a Great Day or Night!

Michael

I'm a new member. Are there any cat lovers out there in Arizona? I'm very kind and would love to find someone special to spend some time with :)

I have a brother (Buddy) and sister (Savannah). They do absolutely everything together. Eat, sleep, groom, play, etc. I'll post a couple pics on my profile.

Are there any cat lovers out there? Got any pics you would like to share?

Michael :)

Once, in the middle of “you know what”…I happened to notice both my cats sitting atop the corner of the bed staring intently at us. I wasn’t quite sure what thoughts might be running through their minds. Here are some of my distracted thoughts:

* Wow! They lick each other’s behinds at the same time. Why didn’t we think of that? (69)
* Do they wonder why there’s a doggie style, but no kitty style?
* Are they hurting each other? There are lots of strange noises going on.
* You stole that from me…you bastard, when you got me “fixed”. Now I feel broken.
* Are we next in line?

Amidst all these thoughts running through my mind I finally thought:

* Will they respect me in the morning? I mean, after watching and all.
* ”Should I finish?” – Quoted from the film “40 Year Old Virgin”. The answer, of course, was YES…maybe they can scribble down some tips and pointers along the way.
* Should I remove them from the room, so they don’t have to witness the rest of this?
* Should I sit down and explain the birds and bees to them afterwards?

This was an awkward situation, and any guidance on how I might go about explaining this to them would be greatly appreciated. - Confused Cat Owner.

Lately, I've been noticing some strange things, and can only come to the obvious conclusion that one or more of my cats are smoking crack.

I noticed the following signs that lead me to this conclusion:

* I have no roommates or live-in companions.

* I work from home, so I would notice a stranger coming in and doing any of these things.

* The alcohol in my liquor cabinet has been slowly replaced with water. I think they are actually drinking my booze, and putting water in the bottle to make it look like there isn't any missing.

* I noticed items in my house disappearing. If they are pawning these things, don't they check for ID?

* I also noticed they were both losing teeth.

* I noticed they would stay up for days with no sleep. No more cat naps for them.


I can't just have crack smoking cats running around my house rampant. I decided it was time to stage an intervention. So first, I questioned each cat separately to see if there might be any inconsistencies in their stories. Well, after an hour or so one of them broke down and told me. She told me it started off with cat nip, and just escalated from there.

So, now I'm putting them both into rehab so they can slowly start to pull their lives back together and get back to enjoying the simple things in life like chasing bugs. I can only hope they will get better. If you have any suggestions please email me, as I'm very concerned about them both.

I would highly recommend to all cat owners...that you sit down with them and explain the dangers of drugs.