It is beautiful, but my town is VERY boring. Literally, I live about 40 minutes outside of Pitt and we have nothing to do here...and gas is sooo high I cannot afford to travel to do a dang thing.
Heres hopin you have a wonderful week!!

I know I have not been here for a long time but I hope I am still welcome to vent because I really need too at this moment...its going to be extremely long and I appologize :/

Yesterday it was seven months since my dad passed away and I forgot. I have had so much on my mind that it just slipped away and I am so upset with myself because I vowed to never ever forget him and I did. I feel as if I had failed myself in some kind of way, but this isn't the most of my problems.

In my last vent I complained about my fathers entire side of the family disowning my family and stealing my fathers belongings and suing us for the only thing my father left us. Sadly, nothing has gotten better. We have a court hearing (prelim) coming up and I think it will go well -my attorney has great faith, but I cannot sleep because if we lose then we lose everything and my uncle wins. We are not trying to keep anything from my fathers side of the family, they are taking from us. Everything that has income they have taken or are fighting us for. They call me horrible names and spread terrible rumors about me and my family in the town we live in and what is sad is that most of the people they talk to believe them, they dont understand that my uncle and his family are liars. They don't understand that I am a twenty one year old girl just trying to keep the only thing worth anything for my family because if we lose that then we also lose our home and it will honestly kill me to have to undergo yet another horrible experience.
I am a good person, I just don't understand why this is happening to my family.
Lately I cant sleep, every time I close my eyes I dream about my dads family. In each dream I imagine seeing my aunt and she starts to cry and tells me that she is sorry and I cry too and tell her that I forgive her. Another dream I imagine my Nana hugging me and telling me that she loves me....I still love them. Every morning I wake up and I have this ache in my chest because I did not do anything to these people and yet they continue to hurt me.
The mentally challenged men at my old job (my fathers old business)-the one where my uncle took over and fired my family for taking two months off to mourn my dad, call me secretely from their cellphones and cry because they miss me so much, they were like my brothers and my uncle does not allow me to see them. The one man called me and got caught and in the background you could hear them yelling "WHO IN THE HE** ARE YOU TALKING TOO? GET OFF THE DA** PHONE!". They are hurting too. I tried to call the state to see waht we could do about this and they just laugh at me, I guess they don't have the rights I Thought they did.

Lately I just feel lost. My mom and I are soooo stressed over this upcoming hearing so we fight all the time. It is just a mess, we really need some prayers. We need something to go in our favor, once. Just onnncee.

*sighs*

Thanks guys, I just needed to get that off of my chest because its kinda hard keeping it all in and my mom has her own problems, if I complain to her and let her know how much this affects me it will just get her even more upset and I would hate for anything to happen to her.

I have documented a lot of it and I've let my lawyer know, the sad thing is my dads dad & my father were amazingly respected police officers in my area and if I try to do something about all of this they brush me off because they are afraid of upsetting my grandparents.
I reported the car stolen 2 months ago and the police officer I talked to asked to speak to my mother...I am soon to be 21, thats just pathetic.

I have talked to some people but we are at wits end with my doctors office over my dads medical records (they aren't releasing them or even letting me see them) so I have to find a new physician. On my last visit I told him how depressed I was and he put me on Remeron which knocked me out for two days.

Thanks for all the support though, you guys are all awesome and I wish you all the best.
*many many many hugs*

Today my depression has hit an all-time high.
Life just doesn't matter to me anymore.
At least two times a week since my dad died I have been harassed by my uncles SOB scumbag of a friend and today was the last straw.
It is slowly killing me.

2 months ago to the day (tomorrow) my uncles friend came on to my property and took a car that my father adored -an 85' cutlass.
It was a crappy car but my dad LOVED it and refused to junk it because he felt it suited him.
When the car was fixed up a little he registered it under his business because he used it to transport mentally challenged men from the business to the work place and in order for them to be covered in an accident it had to be registered that way...soo when he died they came and took it with everything inside...and lied to us.

Today I was sitting on my porch getting ready for a walk and the friend drove it past.
My heart skipped several beats and I could not breathe.
For a second I thought it was my dad.
Then he stared me down and laughed as he saw my facial expression.

The liars took the car, lied about junking it and probably threw all of my dads sentimental things away.
I know I shouldnt worry but they harass me day and night.
They get joy out of harassing me the most when its close to my dads date of death.
It's not fair.
Every morning I wake up and for a few seconds things seem normal, then I realize my dad is dead and his family hates me.

People try to break into my home, they harass me through the mail and they threaten my family.

Everyone tells me that they will get their day but they are as happy as freakin clams while I contemplate my life.

I can't take it anymore. I really can't.
I wish they could be hurt as badly as they hurt me.

I'm such a mess :(

Yea, I can get to every other site I visit so its really just this one.
I dont know whats going on :(

Okay, I am having some major problems with this site.
For the past few weeks I have not been able to view this site, when I try to load it I get a message telling me that I am not connected to the internet or the site is having problems.

I've tried everything I can think of and finally I gave in and tried to use a proxy servery and it has worked, but its really annoying.

Can anyone help me fix this?
I miss chatting with all my friends!

Thanks guys. I really appreciate the support.

Things got worse today and we had to involve the police.
The company swears they own the car but I don’t care about that…I care about what was inside and I care about the fact that they only took the car so they could drop it off in some junkyard for it to be scrapped. The police now know about that though and they are going to pursue the stolen police issued bullets that were inside that car.

As for telling my Pap and Nana that I love them… I can’t. After what they said to me today I don’t think I have any love in my body for these people anymore. They are making me so effin crazy. I tried to explain to them today that I lost my best friend and I wake up every morning thinking that he is just away…it honestly has not set in that he is actually gone. I cannot grieve the loss of him because I am worrying about everything they are putting me through.


Sorry for bringing this to the boards. I just don't have anyone else to talk with and it gets kinda tough keeping it all in.

Many of you know that my dad passed away in June, it was exactly two months ago yesterday and that had to of been one of the worst days so far.
You see, my uncle is suing us for everything that brings in income so that if we lose that income then we also lose our house. Yesterday he came onto my property and took an old car and god only knows what else..(the car was sitting in the driveway of a rental my dad owned. His garage that is owned by my grandparents is right beside it)
The car was my dads favorite thing in the world and even though he had a brand new truck he LOVED it...but in all honesty it was a rusted piece of junk that couldnt pass inspection because the bottom is falling out.

My uncle took it and had access to the garages that hold all of my dads other things including countless tools, battery operated model airplanes that he built himself...etc.

I called my grandparents (I havent talked to them for over two months) and nicely asked where the car went and she told me that its none of my business because the business owned it. The business my dad created ALONE and my uncle took over..
I then nicely told her that my dads things were in that car and until we had proof of ownership it had to be returned.
She then said "I dont understand what is wrong with you people."

What is wrong with me? THEY ARE TAKING EVERYTHING MY DAD OWNS.
If they in fact own that POS car then fine...take off the insurance and get it away..but prove you own it and let me get my dads things out of it.

Its so unfair. It really is. & Then my grandfather called back and said "You people are amazing, so nice. I should send you a card, nice people deserve cards."
It really hurts me when they treat me like this. I love them, I do...At night I have freakin dreams of telling them how much I love them and it seems so freakin real but when I wake up they are idiots and screw me over daily.

Should I have my uncle and his crew arrested for coming on to my property to take my dads things? They've been warned before...I just do not know what actions to take. My mom won't let me do anything shes basically given up..everything she tells me is "Call the lawyer!" but the man doesnt even call us back. Its sad. It really is.

Life blows.

seriously that is the best blonde joke I have ever heard *dies*

I took like 10 minutes trying to figure out what that could
possbily be, then I looked down..
I'm an idiot LOL.

I'll hurry back, hahaha

thanks guys!

stay safe & take care!

*many hugs*

This week has been pretty busy for me & the next few days aren't going to let me have a break either.
My moms cousin planned a benefit in honor of my dad which is planned for saturday.
Sunday I have to attend my grandfathers funeral (he passed away today )
...and then to complete all of that wonderfulness I am being foced back to work.

I literally have not had a break.
I am exhausted.

Anywho, see you all soon.
Have fun and be safe!

LOL if you do, be sure to ask someone
you've known or talked to for awhile



Justin, please don't get one of those awful combover
fake hair pieces...

HAHA.
DO IT!

Sadly I have to go to bed now. If I do not get into my bed in like 20 minutes I will not wake up until like after 3 my time...and apparently that is unacceptable.

Have fun talking about wireless doorbells without me!
Night all!

Darn, I'm always in for a good game

Who invented the doorbell?

LOL oh my goodness.

Its hard and always cold...
I dont know what its made out of

She's hitting up that happy water...don't let her use any other excuse.

New, have fun working LOL. I hope you figure out why you need to door your bell