Here's my story. It's still being written, so take from it what you think might help you. I'm in the Navy and my ex was stuck with me someplace that she didn't want to be. We'd only been together and married for a short while, I think about 4 years total when the divorce was final. Mostly together because we had kids... anyway, I saw that I couldn't give her what would make her happy (no duty stations near enough for her to her family) and she was making me unhappy and basically turning into a crappy mom... so I cut her lose. Which of course is all my fault, but that's another story...

Since we split up, I really didn't know what to do. I was a good dad and enjoyed my kids and a good husband and was trying to work on that, but all that was gone. I was too mature to booze it up every night and smart enough to know that shacking up with every 18+yo that I could talk out of her pants was a bad idea... but it sure was tempting.

What I've learned so far is that it's a highly dynamic process. As you go, you'll figure out different things about what was wrong with the relationship; what was you, what was the other, what you liked and didn't like and what you want for the future and what you want to avoid... this doesn't strike me as a quick process. I've been separated for almost two years and I'm still figuring this stuff out. I've broken a couple hearts along the way, which I feel really bad about, but I was always honest with them. I always told them exactly what was going on in my head; my desires, my expectations, my doubts, my issues. I was also very sensitive to what they needed and wanted as well, accommodated as best I could, and was honest when I could not or didn't feel like making those compromises would push me in the direction I was heading.

Point is, you do what you got to do. The pain's not over, you just owe it to yourself and those that are interested in you and that you're interested in to maintain honesty and open communications. Some people can be stepping stones in the direction of your healing, some you can help along the way, and you never know when two of you might fit together just right at the right time to grow together and capture the kind of companionship that our previous failures have left us hungering for.

Dude! That's a great idea!

Only problem I see is that if the mechanism breaks, then the car is immobile. Just the maintainer in me...

But I guess if the starter quits or a belt breaks or whatever, you're in the same boat, so why not?

The lip should definitely be waxed on a lady... and while we're talking about hair, other regions should at least be trimmed. That is, if you want guys to do what most girls want guys to do.

Can I be the guy?

Always love a good Blow Job, Joshy44. He he...

I got one for ya guys; it's called Piscola Clara, made by mixing pisco and ginger ale. Pisco is a liquor made in Chile from grapes, with the function and taste of tequila, and NO HANGOVER! Woo hoo! Our group of 20 partied every night 'til 4 and were functional at 10. Great stuff...

Motorcycles or bicycles? I'm the former...

The Mutual Match assumes that he's using it, too. What a cool idea, though. I wouldn't wait around. Write him or move on to one of the guys that is actually mutually interested in you.

All I know is that I've got 13 unread emails on another site and 4 on this one to girls that basically say, "Hi, you're cute in your picture(s) and you said something half intelligent in your profile. Check me out and if you feel the same, let's start talking." There's 17 easy dates for women right there... and ZERO for me.

Oh yeah... definitely just strike up a conversation. Check out his posts, see what he's writing about. Then you can gauge the best way to approach him.

I prefer the blunt approach (I do it and like it when she does it, too). I told the last girl that I asked out that my friend told me to ask her out 'cause he caught me looking at her butt. She laughed and I added that her smile and accent were the icing and I had to ask her out. She gave me her number, but still hasn't called back... see a previous post of mine. I would have much rather she was blunt and told me no instead of keeping me on the edge of my seat. Just a funny example.

Thanks everyone! Uh, shotgun, I don't fix planes anymore... he he... sometimes I wish I still did. In a perfect world I'd do both. I'm definitely having a lot of fun joining in the and , definitely while and getting into a little . This community is the best ones I've come across.

Hi all,

I've been on here for a week or two, just never thought to post up here. My name's Josh and I've got some pics and info in my profile. Check me out and don't hesitate to JustSayHi!

---Josh

I have the same problem, Lex. That doesn't do us any good; I'm here to get coffee and dinner and start a relationship. Why don't the locals respond? Aren't they here for the same thing?

Thanks! I'm not the dumbest 26yo in Florida.

I think flipflop has a good point; all relationships are dynamic, givin' and takin', the balance always shifting. I know when I've had a crappy week at work, it's 100% ME, baby!

It also depends on the people involved, some people need more attention or affirmation or whatever than others, so maybe the balance for one relationship is 80-20 and that works for them, while another has to be 60-40 or 50-50.

Personally, I like to keep it as close to 50-50 as possible, and if it isn't, I like to keep the bigger number on my side. I actually ended my last relationship because she was way more into me than I was into her. I looked down the road, talked to her about it and decided I didn't want to waste her time. Or the gas money; she lived 5 hours away. But if you have your doubts after a month and a half, what does a responsible guy do...

Point is, if you're unhappy with the balance, try to fix it with your partner. If you guys can't, and you're not married, going your separate ways may be the best thing to do so you can both find happiness. If you are married, keep truckin' 'til you just can't stand it... divorce sucks.

Life's too random to have some predetermined person be the one for you for the rest of your lives. Anybody who's been married for any length of time knows that you bond with someone at the right time in both your lives and make a life together, becoming one couple from two people. Sometimes it doesn't work out like that either... for those of us who are divorced. One day you think "it's meant to be" and the next their fake boobs go to their head and they think they want to be a swimsuit model instead of a lawyer. Happened to a friend. They were great together... 'til he bought her some boobs. All downhill... bad.

Maybe player's just not relating his method properly... I've been "too nice" in the past, asking what she wants to do and hesitating when I obviously should have planted one on her pretty little lips. I'm sure that most of the women on this site have had the experience and thought, "I wish he'd just pick something to do," or, "I wish he'd just kiss me/hold my hand."

Please, please correct me if I'm wrong... and quickly.

That is a pretty good headline, lonely. He he...

I don't see any reason why a woman wouldn't want to get involved with a guy who's committed to his family enough to take care of them in times of need. But we'll have to get the opinion of some ladies to be sure...

Temporary or permanent arrangement?