Damn. Too many straighties. Whatever happened to moving at right angles?

Let's just hope I can get it by the publishers.

The Itty Bitty Kitty Committee approves Trash Can Kitty's approval. -Stamps.-

You can keep the straight ones. I'll keep the lesbians. As for the bi ones? we'll split them down the middle and say 50/50.

Damn right. I just hope children don't get a hold of it. There are far too many penis jokes for that to go down well with parents. Then again, that IS how the children are born....

Yeah. I just find it interesting that there seems to be so many attractive people choosing to do online dating. Normally online dating is seen as the last resort, because the supposedly "hot" ones are supposed to have the easiest time finding dates.

The fact that the attractive ones outnumber the less attractive ones seems a little mind boggling to me. I would have thought (at least on the sites with real people and not fake profiles with modelling photos) that there would be a much more even balance of looks amongst the crowd like you'd find face to face.

Suddenly, geeky internet things are cool again. All is well with the world.


Now, loyal subjects...

BRING ME THE HOT CHICKS!

Are you suuuuuure? -Seedy eyebrow wiggle.-

I do too, but you have to admit it seems quite pointless to be looking around the straight/male profiles when cruising for lesbians. Exercise in futility, much?

I am a little Mudpie.
My body short and stout.
I look like a broad bean
With my tummy poking out.

My last name is Dinglehopper,
Don't know how it got that way.
I think that I just made it up
When I was bored one day.

My hair looks like the Opera House,
You know that one in Sydney?
But my favourite thing about me is
I look just like a kidney.

My eyes are large and bulgy,
I look just like a fish.
People want to be me,
But I just tell them 'You wish!'

My sexy sexy body,
Sometimes has a doodle.
People get confused about it,
When I treat it like a poodle.

My peen are being so lovely,
My peen are being so grand,
I think I'll put it in a show,
And call it Fresh Meat Not Canned.

Because it are the peen of Mud,
It will win a ribbon of blue.
Even though it was a cat show,
I say 'Ha ha! No prize for you!'

I are Mudpie Dinglehopper,
And so lovely I am.
I are allowed to pick on
Nica's boyfriend the Army Man.

I think he has a boof head.
I believe his name is Sam.
I reckon I'll end this poem now,
Mudpie the Great I am.


--------

You'll understand this one a lot more if you check out my myspace page

There's also a picture that I drew of Mudpie (Me) on my profile if you can't be bothered switching sites. It's the little fairy thing.

Never said that you couldn't. Just that the topic was obviously geared towards lesbian dating, and not gay males, transgenders, or heterosexual couples.

I don't think it happens only to the lesbian community. It's just that being a lesbian when it comes to dating, it's ridiculous to think that I'd go looking for male profiles and straight women to see what they look like. You have to put it into context, Fear.

I was asking fellow LESBIANS about what they think of certain issues. Not to say that no others can post here; it's just that it's mainly geared towards that aspect of dating because I don't involve myself with the opposite sex and therefore is of no interest to me.

-Flexes spindly noodle arms.-

It's cos I'm fierce like WHOA.

Hey, the internet is serious business. I'm convinced that if you dare to post on a forum, you're asking for people to ***** at you. The internet is a melting pot of smut, mod bashing, fellow user bashing, and llama porn.

That whole "I CAN CALL U NAMES COS U CAN'T SEE ME" mentality is rife on the internet, so people feel a lot better saying that kind of stuff to each other without worrying they are going to get a boot to the head. If you have a view that doesn't conform with what the majority say (even if you are just asking a question about something) then you can expect at least one person go nuts like you just said you are planning to rape babies and unfurl a giant poster of it on the top of that tower in Dubai before blowing it up with a penis-shaped potato wedge called Gary.

-Takes a bow.-

Yeah, I have a thing for coming up with crazy names. My runescape account was "Bird_Weenies"

As for baby pictures? I swear to god I look like a mad scientist in those. And my head is like a square melon. Apparently my head was so big that mum ended up having a seizure when she was giving birth to me, because she was fine when my brother was born. Even though he was a porky little thing with no neck that ate cigarette packets.

Explains why he smokes like a chimney though.

((Author: Me))




Behold, little nerdies, the light of the world;
Ceiling Cat cometh with wisdom unfurled.
Goggies do tremble and bukkits are lost
While walrus are left forever counting the cost.

Basement Cat plots with a gleam in his eye,
For HE stole the bukkits and made walrus cry.
But Ceiling Cat knows that black cat is no good
And proclaimed with the authority that a Ceiling Cat should,

"Basement Cat, Basement Cat - come out with paws up!
Or I shall bombard u with Two-Girls-1-Cup!
CakeFarts shall assault u, and PuddingFarts will do too,
And there will forevermore be no cheezburger 4 u!"

"Blast u!" yelled Basement Cat and summoned a goggie
Which he flung through the air at the mysical moggy.
As Basement Cat fled, he yelled over his shoulder,
The distance between them only making him bolder

"I will never surrender;
I will never die!
One of these days, Cat,
Ur cheezburgers are mine!"

Which is pretty silly, given that it has no relevance to the topic at hand. Don't you just hate it when you start a topic and then people add to it without really answering your questions?

Or better yet, when you ask an innocent or light-hearted question, and you get attacked for it. Those are the worst ones.

I've now re-posted Ode to a Pedobear and The Joan of Arc Rap.

Here are the poems...

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/265672

http://mingle2.com/topic/show/265671

I think that I could barely bear
An encounter with a pedobear
To think that he is always there
That pedobear with balding hair.

The internet is where he plays
With girls and boys and lesi-gays
He'll type all night and through the days
A pedobear in many ways.

A chatroom is a feast, you see
Where he trades child pornography
He chats to all the young girlies
When he hangs out near lavatories.

He likes to rut with bottoms up
Whether little boys or Two-Girls-1-Cup
When coppers type, then he shuts up
But pedobears will never stop.

So next time you are up the street
Keep your eyes peeled in case you meet
Someone that you can barely greet
A pedobear walking the beat.

I'm here to tell a story
'Bout The Maid of Orléans,
Six hundred years ago
But her legend still carries on.

Raised in Domrémy,
Orléans is her turf.
En Français,
Her age is dix-neuf.

Born in 1412,
The eighth day before Ides,
The youngest of the family;
A little French fry.

When the bells did ring,
Down on her knees she would pray,
Instead of playing with her friends,
She'd be in church all day.

Joanie had three saints;
Mickey, Marge and Cat,
Did whatever they said,
Cos God was all-o-that.

At first they argued,
They couldn't agree.
But Mickey had his way;
With war they'd set France free.

So it was off to Chinon
To see a bloke called Charlie
With a horse and a standard,
Now she had her own army.

Marched off to Orléans
On her way to Reims,
With her hair cut short,
Yeah, she was one of them.

Snuck into the city
Captured Les Tourelles,
With God on her side,
The English morale fell.

But it wasn't just her battles
That she was well-known for;
But also for the way
That she had treated the poor.

She cared for them deeply,
They were treated with love.
She was liberal with alms,
Was one of God's sweet doves.

Jehanne was real nice
And even kinda funny.
I bet she's cuddly too;
My Eucharistic easter bunny.

But it all could not be;
Her attack on Paris had failed
Burgundy sold her,
And to the English was mailed.

She was stuck in prison
And then put on trial,
But the way that they had treated her
Was really quite vile.

On the cold prison floor,
Curled up in a ball
Jehanne was all alone,
She had no one at all.

But Jehanne stayed strong
And she stayed smart.
She had the lines of questioning
Down to an art.

"I'll pull your ears!"
Yeah, that's what she said
To the scribe at her trial
When the wrong things were read.

Stuck back in her cell
And beaten by the guard,
Already bruised and dirty
From a life that was hard.

The fish was poisoned,
The chicken no good,
And if you think that's bad,
The steak was made of wood.

The English didn't like her;
Called her a liar,
Taped her to a stick
And said "Kill it with fire."

She signed a confession,
And then took it back
But now the Church was angry;
They were on the attack.

Kissed by the flames,
And surrounded by fire,
A white dove from heaven
Then flew over her pyre.

Martyr she was,
Sinner she ain't,
With "Jesus!" on her lips,
They had just killed a saint.

Unlike the dove,
Jehanne never sang or danced,
But who really cares?
She's the Flower of France.