Mary and her husband Jim had a dog named 'Lucky.'
Lucky was a real character. Whenever Mary and Jim had company come for a weekend visit they would warn their friends to not leave their luggage open because Lucky would help himself to whatever struck his fancy. Inevitably, someone would forget and something would come up missing.

Mary or Jim would go to Lucky's toy box in the basement and there the treasure would be, amid all of Lucky's other favorite toys Lucky always stashed his finds in his toy box and he was very particular that his toys stay in the box.

It happened that Mary found out she had breast cancer. Something told her she was going to die of this disease....in fact; she was just sure it was fatal.

She scheduled the double mastectomy, fear riding her shoulders. The night before she was to go to the hospital she cuddled with Lucky. A thought struck her...what would happen to Lucky? Although the three-year-old dog liked Jim, he was Mary's dog through and through. If I die, Lucky will be abandoned, Mary thought. He won't understand that I didn't want to leave him! The thought made her sadder than thinking of her own death.

The double mastectomy was harder on Mary than her doctors had anticipated and Mary was hospitalized for over two weeks. Jim took Lucky for his evening walk faithfully, but the little dog just drooped, whining and miserable.

Finally the day came for Mary to leave the hospital. When she arrived home, Mary was so exhausted she couldn't even make it up the steps to her bedroom. Jim made his wife comfortable on the couch and left her to nap.

Lucky stood watching Mary but he didn't come to her when she called. It made Mary sad but sleep soon overcame her and she dozed.

When Mary woke for a second she couldn't understand what was wrong. She couldn't move her head and her body felt heavy and hot. But panic soon gave way to laughter when Mary realized the problem. She was covered, literally blanketed, with every treasure Lucky owned! While she had slept, the sorrowing dog had made trip after trip to the basement bringing his beloved mistress all his favorite things in life.

He had covered her with his love.

Mary forgot about dying. Instead she and Lucky began living again, walking further and further together every day. It's been 12 years now and Mary is still cancer-free. Lucky He still steals treasures and stashes them in his toy box but Mary remains his greatest treasure.

Remember....live every day to the fullest. Each minute is a blessing from God. And never forget....the people who make a difference in our lives are not the ones with the most Credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care for us.

If you see someone without a smile today give them one of yours! Live simply. Love seriously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

Are you lonesome tonight, does your tummy feel tight?
Did you bring your Mylanta and Tums?
Does your memory stray, to that bright sunny day...
When you had all your teeth and your gums?
Is your hairline receding, are your eyes growing dim?
Hysterectomy for her, and its prostate for him.
Does your back give you pain...do your knees predict rain?
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

Is your blood pressure up, your cholesterol down?
Are you eating your low-fat cuisine?
All that oat bran and fruit, Metamucil to boot,
keeps you like a well-oiled machine.
If it's football, or baseball...he sure knows the score.
Yes, he knows where it's at...but forgets what it's for.
So, your gall bladder's gone, and his gout lingers on.
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight?

When you're hungry, he's not. When you're cold, then he's hot.
Then you start that old thermostat war.
When you turn out the light, he goes left, you go right.
Then you get his great symphonic snore.
He was once so romantic, and witty and smart.
How'd he turn out to be such a cranky old fart?
So don't take any bets, this is as good as it gets.
Tell me dear, are you lonesome tonight.

Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away that they were meant to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson or help figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them, you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful and unfair, but in reflection you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never realize your potential, strength, will power or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all occur to test limits of your soul.

Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to nowhere safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and downfalls that you experience can create whom you are, and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make every day count. Appreciate everything that you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.

Talk to people whom you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free and set your sights high. Hold you head up because you have every right to.

Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself, for if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.

1. Open a new file in your PC.

2. Name it "Housework."

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4. Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete
Housework permanently?"

6. Calmly answer, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly......

7. Feel better?


Works for me!

One of the most treasured gifts each woman has is the ability to give ourselves without expecting something in return. Gifts of the heart, such as encouragement, hope, love, a kind word and appreciation.

The glow you feel inside when you give freely like this is comparable to nothing else. Your soul becomes filled with a sense of calmness and the burdens of the world seem weightless. This all comes with these simple principles of giving.

I cherish my ability to give and expect nothing in return.

Letting Go...

There's nothing like feeling foolish to take all the fun out of being angry. I do not as a general rule overlook the obvious. Being optimistic by nature, I need these little signals to tell me when I've taken on too much. I think it's a game my subconscious and I play with one another. It leaves me alone until I manage to book myself solid, and then arranges the equivalent of a well-placed umbrella in my path.

This causes me to spare a moment to sit down and assess matters. Life has been showing its customary disregard for what I want. Some decisions involve a certain amount of soul searching, inner turmoil, and guilt. Few people send a child off to college, leave a relationship, hire someone to tend an aging parent, or leave a good employer for a better career opportunity without wondering whether they're doing the right thing. We weave invisible threads of our heart and soul into the things we love. Sometimes clipping those threads is the right thing to do. Separating from something or someone precious requires the strength to make a choice,
and the wisdom to accept that it will hurt.

My garden has provided more undiluted happiness than most friendships. It has given me a perspective on success that no title, raise, or promotion can match. It taught me
to see my life more clearly. I don't know how, and I don't care. I just accept that it is so. This too, I learned amidst those leaves and roots.

I am very fortunate. I am able to give away something truly special. In return, I am gaining the time and the freedom to do it all again. Every goodbye should be so rewarding.

"When someone you love becomes a memory, The memory becomes a treasure..."

I don't think our kids know what an apron is.

The principal use of Grandma's apron was to protect the dress underneath, but along with that, it served as a potholder for removing hot pans from the oven.

It was wonderful for drying children's tears, and on occasion, was even used for cleaning out dirty ears.

From the chicken coop, the apron was used for carrying eggs, fussy chicks, and sometimes half-hatched eggs to be finished in the warming oven.

When company came, those aprons were ideal hiding places for shy kids.

And when the weather was cold, grandma wrapped it around her arms.
Those big old aprons wiped many a perspiring brow, bent over the hot wood stove.

Chips and kindling wood were brought into the kitchen in that apron.

From the garden, it carried all sorts of vegetables. After the peas had been shelled, it carried out the hulls.

In the fall, the apron was used to bring in apples that had fallen from the trees.

When unexpected company drove up the road, it was surprising how much furniture that old apron could dust in a matter of seconds.

When dinner was ready, Grandma walked out onto the porch, waved her apron, and the men knew it was time to come in from the fields to dinner.

It will be a long time before someone invents something that will replace that "old-time apron" that served so many purposes.

REMEMBER Grandma used to set her hot baked apple pies on the window sill to cool. Her granddaughters set theirs on the window sill to thaw.

Though losses and crosses be lessons right severe,
there's wit there ye'll get there, ye'll find no other
where. - Robert Burns

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a
laxative on the same night.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race
has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."

People who want to share their religious views with you almost
never want you to share yours with them.

You should not confuse your career with your life.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

Never lick a steak knife.

The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and
compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely
suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual
baby emerging from her at that moment.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to
make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age,
gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

A person who is nice to you but rude to a waiter is not a nice
person.

(This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
Your friends love you anyway.

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember that a lone
amateur built the Ark. A large group of professionals built the Titanic.

Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to
the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into
something acceptable to have dinner with.


Indian Wisdom

One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a
battle that goes on inside people. He said,
"My son, the battle is between 2 "wolves" inside us all.

One is Evil.

It is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

The other is Good.

It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness,
benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked
his grandfather:

"Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied,

"The one you feed."

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20.00 bill.

In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this $20 bill?" Hands started going up.

He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you but first, let me do this. He proceeded to crumple up the $20 dollar bill. He then asked, "Who still wants it?"

Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.

Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who LOVE you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or who we know, but by WHO WE ARE.

You are special - "Don't EVER forget it."

A group of students were asked to list what they thought were the present "Seven Wonders of the World."

Though there were some disagreements, the following received the most votes:

Egypt's Great Pyramids
Taj Mahal
Grand Canyon
Panama Canal
Empire State Building
St. Peter's Basilica
China's Great Wall

While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not finished her paper yet. So she asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many."

The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help." The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the 'Seven Wonders of the World' are:

to see
to hear
to touch
to taste
to feel
to laugh
and to love."

The room was so quiet you could have heard a pin drop. The things we overlook as simple and ordinary and that we take for granted are truly wondrous!

A gentle reminder -- that the most precious things in life
cannot be built by hand or bought by man.

There's a story of a fisherman who was sitting on the dock one early afternoon with a few fish in his possession.

A rich business man--a visitor from out of town--said "Why aren't you out there fishing this afternoon?"

The fisherman said, "I've caught all I need for today... and I'm just sitting back here, smoking my pipe and enjoying the beautiful day."

"But", the businessman objected, "if you were to use your time fishing, you could catch more fish and then sell what you don't need and make some extra money."

"And then what?" replied the fisherman.

"Well," replied the business man, "after saving enough money from your sales, you could buy a new and bigger boat that would take you out further into sea and you could catch bigger fish and make even more money."

"And then what?" said the fisherman.

"Well, then you could buy a whole fleet of boats and catch thousands of fish and make thousands of dollars in one day and become rich like me."

"And then what?" asked the fisherman.

"Well," then you could sit back and enjoy life like I do" said the rich man.

"Well," said the fisherman, "Isn't that what I'm doing already?"

went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and a four-year old grandson.

The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered. The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.

The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess. We must do something about Grandfather," said the son. “I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating and food on the floor.”

So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.

The four-year-old watched it all in silence.

One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor. He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded, "Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food when I grow up." The four-year-old smiled and went back to work. The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.

That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table. For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.

Children are remarkably perceptive. Their eyes ever observe, their ears ever listen, and their minds ever process the messages they absorb. If they see us patiently provide a happy home atmosphere for family members, they will imitate that attitude for the rest of their lives.

The wise parent realizes that every day the building blocks are being laid for the child's future. Let's be wise builders and role models. "Life is about people connecting with people, and making a positive Difference." Take care of yourself, and those you love, ...today, and everyday!

On a positive note, I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I've learned that, regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life. I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life."

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

I've learned that every day, you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch - holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

and her little grandson, whose face was sprinkled
with bright freckles, spent the day at the zoo.

Lots of children were waiting in line to get their cheeks painted by a local artist who was decorating them with tiger paws.

You've got so many freckles, there's no place to paint!" said a girl in the line said to the little fella.

Embarrassed, the little boy dropped his head.

His grandmother knelt down next to him.

"I love your freckles. When I was a little girl I always wanted freckles," she said, while tracing her finger across the child's cheek. Freckles are beautiful."

The boy looked up, "Really?"

Of course," said the grandmother.

"Why just name me one thing that's prettier than freckles."

The little boy thought for a moment, peered intensely into his grandma's face, and softly whispered,

Wrinkles."

He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he
could build just one more house as a personal favor.

The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house" he said. "my gift to you."

The carpenter was shocked! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.

So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. then with a shock we realize we have to live in the house we have built.

If we could do it over, we'd do it much differently. But we cannot go back.

You are the carpenter. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall.

"Life is a do-it-yourself project," someone has said.

Your attitudes and the choices you make today,

Build the "house" you live in tomorrow...

Two nuns, Sister Marilyn and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car and hisses through the windshield.

"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Marilyn. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the windshield wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination," says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

"What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water
at the Vatican," says Sister Helen.

Sister Marilyn turns on the windshield washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns.

"Now what?" shouts Sister Marilyn.

"Show him your cross," says Sister Helen.

"Now you're talking," says Sister Marilyn.

She opens the window and shouts, "Get the f*** off our car!"

A wise old farmer had owned a large farm for many years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice, with picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some apple trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond to look things over as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a 5 gallon bucket to bring back some fruit from the trees. As he neared the pond he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end of the pond. One of the women shouted "We're not getting out until you leave!"

The old man frowned and said, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim or make you get out of the pond." Holding up the bucket he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."



Apples and Wine

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the
tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men.... Men are like a fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shi#t out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.



Top Ten Stupid Things To Be Thankful For

10. Silly Putty. Gives me insight to what augmented women will feel like in their golden years

9. Infomercials. Without them, I'd be rich.

8. Penny Saver. Where else would I sell things I bought from Infomercials.

7. Polyester. Has kept me "Lookin' Good" for many years.

6. Disco Music. Don't laugh, it'll be back, and I'll have all the babes!

5. Rectal Thermometers. For those nights when I got the "Boogie Fever."

4. Spanish Fly. If ya gotta ask, you don't need to know why.

3. 8 Track Players. Cause the music sounds so good.

2. My 3 inches. Because some women like it that wide

1. Community Mental Health, where the Lithium is free!!


Here's to me, and here's to you,
And here's to love and laughter-
I'll be true as long as you,
And not one moment after.

Here's to you and yours
And to mine and ours.
And if mine and ours
Ever come across to you and yours,
I hope you and yours will do
As much for mine and ours
As mine and ours have done
For you and yours!

An Irishman is never drunk as long as
He can hold onto one blade of grass and not
Fall off the face of the earth.

May your future be blessed with green pastures
and soon be blessed with the sound of pidder-patters
but pray and pray, that a good gene is found
that your baby don't look like a hound.


A little old lady goes to a store to do some shopping. She is bewildered over the large selection of toilet paper.

Pardon me sir, she says to the store manger, but can you explain the differences in all theses toilet papers?

Well, he explains pointing at 1 brand, this is as soft as a baby’s kiss. It sells for $1.50 per roll.

He grabs another roll and says, this is nice and soft as a bunny, strong but gentle, and it sells for $1.00 per roll.

Pointing to the bottom shelf , he tells her this is our no name brand and it sells for $.20cents per roll. She says, give me the no name roll.

About a week later, seeks out the manger and says, I have a name for your no name toilet paper. I call it John Wayne.

Why, the manger asked the old lady.

She says its rough, its tough, and don't take crap off of anyone!

Winter is a time of consciousness, of examining our feminine side, of learning to live at one with that nature and how our roles are affected through the choices we make. During the dark dreary months, we can be working on our ideas and developing a personal nurturing time. It is a time to look back not only on the past seasons but on the millennium itself and reflect upon our accomplishments while looking ahead to the coming years.

Depressing, cold, dark. These are words often used to describe the descent of winter. Yet, others might say invigorating, exciting, a bright world of white. Most would agree winter is a time of being still and conserving energy. This makes winter a season of reflection, looking back at years past and forward to new creative energy. While we hibernate, we can also renew.

Our spirit is abundant even when the earth lies dormant. We might want to consider power as a spiritual essence, a cosmic flow of Energy that we create, sustaining and transforming moment by moment the universe of which we are a part. That essence is abundant and free. Spiritual power is both outside and within each of us. We all have the need and ability to experience and exercise it responsibly in positive, enjoyable and productive ways.

Spirit is a low flame inside us just waiting for the pump to bring the oxygen in. Outside circumstances do not activate the pump. We do. We can pump it anytime we want. That's why taking a deep breath always improves any circumstance we are in. It dilutes fear. It focuses the mind. It relaxes the body. It expands thinking, so it feeds the spirit. The word ‘inspire’ literally means ‘to breathe in.’ But if we never do this, the spirit will suffocate inside a finished, stagnant personality. It can't breathe inside a sealed off notion of who we are and always will be.

Nature transforms herself via the flow of her seasons. We can transform ourselves through our inner impulses. Multiple personalities are among the most dramatic examples of how powerful we humans really are. We can be anybody we want to be. We invent ourselves as we go, we just don't know it....Keep in mind that you are many people. You can be whoever you want to be, with practice insight you are still more astonishing with the many creations waiting to be made up.

We all possess both masculine and feminine energy. She calls on us to increase our use of feminine energy and begin to release our use masculine energy. Thus far we have been shaped by a world charted through masculine energy, the energy of form...There is another kind of energy that is invisible but is the very source material of all potential. This is the feminine energy, divine spiritual consciousness that expresses itself through formless essence rather than structure of matter.

The way of the masculine, or yang, energy simply cannot take us up to these new levels of existence because the natural flow of the masculine moves outward to structure, not inward to ‘knowing,’ as does the feminine.” We simply cannot continue our external expansion any further until we begin to learn about these inner realms of existence.... Feminine energies described very inward faculties such as intuition, empathy, encompassing, spirituality. Masculine, or yang, energies are those forces that extend outward such as manifesting, rational, linear, protecting. Thus, Yang energy moves out to form manifestation, and yin energy circles more inward to essence. Ah...but when the yang and yin collide and merge...thus do we all become "one."

Feminine energy is the new bright star on the horizon of consciousness. It has shone silently in the heavens, awaiting the point in human evolution from which we could look up above the horizon over daily existence and wonder who we are and what we are about. It is a great inheritance because it is the energy that binds the future and the past. It merges experience and knowing into a present of superb potential.

As we wait for winter to rest and renew our world, we too should be resting and reflecting upon the form our energy will take as we once again move toward the creative light of Spring...where this gal's yin will continue to search for her "yang."

A rat looked through a crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife opening a package. What food might it contain? He was aghast to discover that it was a rat trap. Retreating to the farmyard the rat proclaimed the warning;

"There is a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Excuse me, Mr. Rat, I can tell this is of grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The rat turned to the pig and told him, "There is a rat trap in the house, a rat trap in the house!".

"I am so very sorry Mr. Rat," sympathized the pig, "but there is nothing I can do about it. Be assured that I will be thinking about your problem. Yea Right!"

The rat turned to the cow. She said, "Like wow, Mr. Rat. A rat trap. Now I'm scared. Duh?"

So the rat returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's rat trap alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house, like the sound of a rat trap catching its prey.

The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see that it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital. A few days later she returned home with a fever.

Now everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient.

His wife's sickness continued. Friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them the farmer butchered the pig.

The farmer's wife did not get well. She died, and so many people came for her funeral that the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide meat for all of them to eat.

So the next time you hear that someone is facing a problem and think that it does not concern you, remember that when there is a rat trap in the house, the whole farmyard is at risk.

Take all American women who are within five years of menopause - train us for a few weeks, outfit us with automatic weapons, grenades, gas masks, moisturizer with SPF15, Prozac, hormones, chocolate, and canned tuna - drop us (parachuted, preferably) across the landscape of Afghanistan, and let us do what comes naturally.

Think about it. Our anger quotient alone, even when doing standard stuff like grocery shopping and paying bills, is formidable enough to make even armed men in turbans tremble.

We've had our children, we would gladly suffer or die to protect them and their future. We'd like to get away from our husbands, if they haven't left already.

And for those of us who are single, the prospect of finding a good man with whom to share life is about as likely as being struck by lightning. We have nothing to lose. We've survived the water diet, the protein diet, the carbohydrate diet, and the grapefruit diet in gyms and saunas across America and never lost a pound. We can easily survive months in the hostile terrain of Afghanistan with no food at all!

We've spent years tracking down our husbands or lovers in bars, hardware stores, or sporting events...finding bin Laden in some cave will be no problem.

Uniting all the warring tribes of Afghanistan in a new government? Oh, please...we've planned the seating arrangements for in-laws and extended families at Thanksgiving dinners for years...we understand tribal warfare.

Between us, we've divorced enough husbands to know every trick there is or how they hide,
launder, or cover-up bank accounts and money sources.

We know how to find that money and we know how to seize it ... with or without the government's help!

Let us go and fight. The Taliban hates women. Imagine their terror as we crawl like ants with hot-flashes over their godforsaken terrain.

I'm going to write my Congresswoman.

You should, too!

I cannot exist without in some sense taking part in you, in the child I once was, in the breeze stirring the down on my arm, in the child starving far away, and in the flashing round of the spiral nebula.

When the winds of winter swirl around our feet, raising the dying leaves toward the sky, lifting the dust and darkening the sun, our inclination is to retreat, hiding from the cold as nature's storms rage with long duration. Spanning the time between the wealth of the fall harvest and the new growth of spring, winter's chaos represents a much needed period of rest and renewal.

Just as the rains of winter fuel the growth of spring, we can benefit from this stormy time. We should use this time for refueling . What mystics have always known has been confirmed by physics and ecology--all things are inter-committed. What happens in one place affects all places. We are finally settling into a period when the dueling dualisms of the past are giving way to holistic thinking. The separations between mind and body, human nature and the natural world, are being scraped for a new project--the enchantment of the world.

Chaos, often encountered in mid to late life, provides a means for us to reflect upon events, grieve our losses and embrace a final resolution of the past while preparing for the future. Mid to late life is a time of inner work -- a time to bring our lives under our own authority. It's a time when we shift our forces away from the practical concerns of the first part of our lives toward a search for a deeper meaning. Mid to late life is about remembering. Remembering who we truly are. Remembering our visions, hopes and dreams. Remembering our deepest yearnings. It’s about remembering what we've lost and reclaiming it. Mid to late life is a time when we've come finally into our own, reclaiming our strength, passion, viability, wisdom and compassion. It's a time for which every individual can emerge a new person. It's certainly taken me longer than most I think.

Essential questions of self spring to mind as we remember our visions, hopes and dreams:

If I am not for myself, who is for me?
If I am only for myself, who am I?
And if not now, when?

Going to our core, we naturally tend to strive for balance and renewal, hoping to find fulfillment while hibernating or struggling through the chaos. Seeking resolution and clarity enables us to respectfully separate days gone by and prepare for the approaching year. We need to emphasize this important process. In the lives of many people it is possible to find a unifying purpose that justifies the things they do day in, day out -- a goal that like a magnetic field attracts their psychic energy, a goal upon which all lesser goals are deferred. This goal will define the challenges that a person needs to face in order to transform his or her life into a flow activity. Without such a purpose, even the best ordered consciousness lacks meaning don't you think?

While chaos might temporarily block our spiritual growth, it also provides a chance to free our souls from undue restrictions, moving into a period of free flowing enchantment and to reconnect with our sense of wonder at the creativity and beauty of a world in transition.

Much the same as I find myself to be while journeying through…Our enchanting world.

It’s not the strongest of the species who survives, or even the smartest; it’s the one who can adapt to change.