I'm in the pink now, was in the red for a long time, though.
Self-actualization is an everyday effort, but I do find that I like
myself more year by year. Nice when you find the bright sides of
growing up.

I always liked the idea of "deal breakers". I'm not perfect, and I
don't expect anyone I date to be perfect either. That said, there are
things up with which I will not put. I think it's all about knowing
what constitute your deal breakers.

Jeremiah. Like the prophet or the bullfrog. ( c;

<---- quite single

Awww... it's not even 9:00 yet in Washington! Stay and play with me
!!!!

I was reminded this afternoon, as I listened to the lyrics of an
isolated track from "A Grand Don't Come For Free" (The Streets), that at
the end of any day, we have our own back. Not that our friends and loved
ones aren't there for us, they are, at least for me, but that they
cannot help with the minutia. No man or woman can fix our lives or our
heads, save that we do it ourselves with their support. At the end of
the night, we have our own backs, or we fail. This is not the failing of
our friends, but the same demanding cost of living which blamelessly
occupies their own lives as well.

There is no rosy-fingered dawn, no matter how jubilant, that does not
contain a measure of sadness. There is no sadness, no matter how
profound, that does not speak of beauty. There is no beauty, no matter
how terrible, that does not carry a spark of joy. And so we live, in
imperfect happiness. Do we pray for a future that is different, a truly
new day? Do we pray for a time when humans and our humanity are no
longer so fragile? Or do we pray merely for understanding, for a way to
cope with our world and with our thoughts, in all their terrible beauty?

I would like to change the world, but I have no faith in changing the
species. We are, as we have ever been, with apologies to Tennyson, one
equal temper of heroic hearts, made weak by time and fate, but strong in
will. We all contain the spark of heroism, for every man, I do believe,
there is something for which they would give their all. Perhaps not
every man would choose to die for freedom or for politics, but perhaps
for importance, for love, to cry out their worth and meaning in an
immeasurable universe. We fight ourselves, we fight our fates, we fight
each other.

I am puzzled, at times, by the ardent faith of those I believe to be
wrong. How can it be that those whose arguments make so little sense to
me can walk forth with the passion and righteous fire that bespeaks a
work of the heart? Perhaps we will never know peace, but perhaps that is
the price of individuality. While I can not profess confidence that my
beliefs will ever be unanimous, that peace or goodwill will ever be a
greater portion of the human spirit, I can declare my intention to carry
on. Though works of beauty be touched with sadness, we work to declare,
to recognize, to illuminate that beauty. Perhaps that, then, is our
immortal purpose, one of many, to strive, to seek, to find, and not to
yield.

Much love to you all.
-J

For what it's worth, one more person who totally hears you. For me it
is a constant struggle between overly critical internal voices and
overly praising ones. I know very well that during the incredibly hard
teenage years I built my intellect up to be the end all-be all of my
self-worth, but I still fight the battle between hubris (foolish pride)
and foolish insecurities.

I recommend meditation, and bubble baths, and those little things that
you can do to pamper yourself that don't cost too much and still manage
to feel gleefully self-indulgent; whatever that means to you. It is
about loving yourself, but that's not a one step process. Take your
time. Be good to yourself. You're doing just fine.

Hi Cutelil,
So here's the reason I'm grinding an axe. It isn't that I lack a sense
of humor, or that guys have any shortage of faults. The reason that tit
and ass jokes are considered "risque" and told only in certain
contexts/company is because it has been largely recognized that they
reduce the female persona to certain basic sexual attributes, and that
this does women an injustice. This is the same reason you won't usually
catch me perpetuating that meme.

Crafting stereotypes about men, however, in spite of having the same
socio-political effect, is not risque. In other words, it is not
largely given credence that this is doing men an injustice at all.

Speaking as a man who defies a great many of the stereotypes which
define my gender, and who feels that I should not have to conform in
order to feel virile or male, I have a vested interest in subverting
that paradigm. Long story short, it isn't talked about, therefore I
talk about it. Related subject - why are racial jokes taboo but fat
jokes OK? Some of these assumptions need to be examined.

Just my opinion, but I'll thank you for respecting it.
-J

Call it a pet peeve - but can you imagine a guy in a crowded office
likening his partner to a rather slow child or a household appliance and
getting a loud, comfy laugh? 'Cause I sure as hell can't, but I hear the
inverse all the darn time.

With all due respect to the many sweet, sensitive and sensual answers
posted here - women need men because no one else needs women badly
enough to put up with the frequent, insulting, stereotyped jokes which
many women are hypocritical enough to conjoin with their "judge me as an
individual" rants.

In your case, Tulip, I'm positive.

Bout the same, only then you'd have my full attention.

Rivergirl - your comment strikes me as ironic. Speaking as a short,
slender male with a reasonably athletic build, all I hear is that women
prefer husky guys. That or the horrible of horribles - "I don't care
what you look like, just so long as you're taller than I am." Doesn't
help that short, slender girls are in high demand, either.

I have to admit, I have a body type I go for. I prefer women who are
curvaceous but not too heavy. Is that shallow of me? Of course. But
it's also honest. I've tried to involve myself with women to whom I was
genuinely not physically attracted, simply because I really liked them,
and it does not work. This is not to say that I'm looking for a
supermodel or an anorexic, but I do think that physicality and
attraction matter a great deal. To women as well as men.

I'm 29, so I tend to figure my age range as around 21 to 37. I'd rather
my date be able to drink in a bar, and I feel a little awkward if we're
at totally different places in our lives. That said, one must always be
open to the unexpected.

How about "The Daily Balance" or "The Balance Sheet"?

Good evening, and welcome to attention whore galore, live from Spokane!
Thank you, thank you, gentles and men, I'll be here all day.

Well, it's that special time. Goodnight, all. Thanks for keeping me
company this afternoon. Sweet dreams!
*MWAH*
-Jeremiah

Oh - and the "big crunch" is still fairly theoretical, but it goes like
this. About 25 years ago scientists were able to first predict and then
experimentally verify a level of universal background radiation which
would have been caused by any Big Bang event and which would not yet
have had enough half-lives to dissapear completely. In fact, it was
predicted and verified to an incredible degree of precision. This was
when Big Bang became the default origin theory.

The Big Crunch, also sometimes called Cold Death, theorizes (rather
logically) that energy-based expansion cannot be an infinite reaction.
Accordingly, the universe continues to expand, but not to create new
matter, and thereby contains less matter for a given area all the time.
This process would cause the universe to gradually lose heat and energy
until the energy driving the cosmic expansion was exhausted. At this
point the universe would begin to cool, which would in turn slow
particle movement, which would result in condensation and, eventually,
maybe, a big crunch.

What happens then? Beats me. Big bang, maybe? Regardless, all life in
the universe is likely to be frozen to death long previous, and our sun
is going to go supernova far sooner, so I wouldn't worry about it.

We actually can experimentally confirm that the universe is still
expanding. Modern telescopic tech is adequate to view distant universes
and, through paralax, to compute the speed at which they are receeding
from us. Interestingly, the speed at which distant galaxies recede is
directly proportional to their distance from us. The only mathematical
explanation that makes sense for this pattern (that has been offered so
far) is universal expansion. Imagine a bunch of pennies taped to the
surface of a balloon. As the baloon expands, the pennies are pushed
farther apart. Also, due to the mathematics of curvature, pennies which
are further apart experience greater curvature, and therefore move away
from each other faster.

With general relativity (as a refinement of special relativity) Einstein
demonstrated that space can be curved, which carries on into the best
understanding of both gravity and cosmic expansion yet offered.

As far as dark matter goes, I must admit that I'm not up with the
cutting edge. So far as I know, dark matter was first discovered
because it does not emit light, but can block light. In other words,
dark matter was first discovered not by direct observation but rather by
the way in which it obscured distant stars. Since then there have been
experiments which theoretically demonstrate (through paralax) that light
is bent when passing near to dark matter, which would indeed indicate
mass. I don't believe dark matter has ever yet been directly observed.
The totally (?) non-emittive nature of dark matter is very interesting,
since it is almost unheard of in nature. Some speculate a correlation
between DM and black holes. I'd love to hear more recent news on this
front if anyone has any ...

Uh, yeah, maybe I should shut up for a while?

Or, I suppose, the truly old school Bugs Bunny shorts, if we're limiting
ourselves to children's fare.