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Community > Posts By > eldarbeast
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Topic:
Any One-Line Jokes to Spare?
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I was driving down Farm-to-Market road 1774 near Plantersville the other day when I saw a diner advertising Lobster Tail and Beer!
I hooked a U-turn thinking, "Hot d*mn! Three of my favourite things!" |
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Topic:
Change sex on my profile...
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O yes some powder rooms are real nice . 
No smoking tho . 
Now that's what I call a powner room! Polish up my brass, and load me some .38 Super and some .45-70 pls! .38 Super! What you doing? Using them to bust bowling pins? |
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I had a Penthouse Pet named Barbara. She was my kajira for a year. I am seeking a replacement.
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Half past, here in Houston, Texas.
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If the distance from our sun to Earth averages 93 million miles (AU) and the distance from our solar system to the nearest star is a little more than 3.26 light years (Parsec), Then, what is your favourite colour - Red or Violet...? eldar  Yellow
hi eldar 
Good evening mzrosie! |
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Topic:
Tear Drop Trailers
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Thanks for the link, SassyEuro2.
I have built several plywood boats (punts/prams) in a past lifetime and was looking to hear from someone with actual 'hands-on' experience. I am considering building a Tear Drop or a more conventional tag a long trailer with full head room. eldar |
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Topic:
Tear Drop Trailers
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Anybody have any experience building one, using one, or, restoring one?
eldar |
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"The Deed of Paksenarrion" ~ Elizabeth Moon
"Young Flandry" ~ Poul Anderson "Old Soldiers" ~ David Weber "All the Way to the Gallows" ~ David Drake "The Cat Who Walks Through Walls" ~ Robert A. Heinlein This week so far... eldar |
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If the distance from our sun to Earth averages 93 million miles (AU) and the distance from our solar system to the nearest star is a little more than 3.26 light years (Parsec),
Then, what is your favourite colour - Red or Violet...? eldar |
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Topic:
Any One-Line Jokes to Spare?
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What is another name for a Philippino contortionist?
A Manila Folder. eldar |
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Topic:
Back in the Last Century,
Edited by
eldarbeast
on
Mon 05/30/16 04:29 PM
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While still in the US Navy, I was sitting in a bar called the Thirsty Camel, in Oceanview, VA.
There were three of us there, the barman, a drunk named Sam, and me, all watching the Dodgers losing yet another baseball game to a better team. After a couple of innings, Sam got up and left leaving the 'tender and me. About this time, a stunning redhead walked into the bar and selected a table near the center of the room. The barman folded a white towel over his left arm, picked up a menu, and walked over to her. He took her order and returned behind the bar. He mixed up her selection and returned to her table, accepted the payment, and went into the back room. I couldn't help notice that she had vibrant green eyes, seemingly gleeming in the light. After a bit, she and I starting flirting with each other, with winks amd subtle smiles. I motioned with my hand towards her table and she grinned, nodding. I asked the bartender what she was drinking and he replied, "Manhattan Iced Tea". I ordered two, paid for them and turning, walked towards her. She smiled, and then suddenly sneezed, explosively! Her right eye popped out of its eyesocket and bounced off of the table and onto the floor! It rolled across the floor right towards me. I shifted both drinks to my right hand and deftly scooped the errant eye. Adjusting the drinks, I continued to her table and presented the precious gem to her. She was blushing furiously! She accepted her eye, turned away, wiped it and returned it to its place. She turned back to me and asked me to join her. We spent the evening there learning about each other. And, about midnight asked me to join her in her apartment which was nearby. I accepted. The next morning, she served me a glorious breakfast - eggs, sunny side up, waffles drenched in strawberry jam and powered sugar, scrapple fried to a rich golden brown and coffee, hot and strong. As I sipped my third cup, I looked into her eyes and said, "I am not trying to take anything from last night but, why me...? She blushed, smiled coyly and whispered in a husky voice, "I don't know... I guess it's because you caught my eye..." eldar |
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There are exactly nine:
The first is the letter "A" - because everything star ts with "A"; Next is the letter "R" - because "R" follows "A"; Then comes 7 "C's" - because that is what the Pirates sail upon. There you have it - the Pirate alphabet! eldar |
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Topic:
"eco" sexuals...
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Old hat called by a different name...
Back in the Last Century, circa 1978, we used to 'merge within the ocean' on a regular basis... Except then, it was "Submarine Races" - where someone was sure to be torpedoed! Ah, yes! Children believing that they have invented something new. Smh eldar |
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The three warning signs to the onset of Alzheimer's Disease are:
1) A person starts to forget things ... and, I don't remember the other 5... ;) eldar |
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Big changes since my parting from my spouse...
Before the divorce, I was the ant: working harder to make everything better for the future; After, I became the grasshopper. Up until I reached puberty at age 55. Now, I am somewhere... In between. eldar |
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Topic:
Do you have a Murtaugh List?
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Ziplining!
Almost like flying without the sudden shock of striking the ground parachuting (jumping out of trees, off of roofs of buildings) brings! Gotta love it! eldar |
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No.
Terminally insane...? Only if one swims in the river that flows through Paris, France during the middle of Winter... eldar |
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Yeah, well, you really ought to think this through a bit less flippantly. The reason why so many people assume it's just some ditzy woman refusing to take responsibility for herself, is because they think it's fun to have sex all the time, and that that's what this is about. In reality, the problem for people who really are driven to sex, instead of enjoying it, is that they are under stress all the time, and their lives are distorted and damaged by it. We know that brain damage can and has caused previously calm and righteous people to become violent criminals, incapable of remaining peaceful in normal society, it's also quite possible to have brain damage cause this sort of malady. Six years later? Seriously? It could have happened (???) anytime during that period. Ambulance chasing lawyers are a pox on every Nation. eldar |
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Smh
As if a woman needs an excuse to explain her nymphomania... eldar O.o ~ I drank WHAT? - Socrates |
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I was sitting at the bar with a friend sipping Mint Julips.
While scanning the other patrons I noticed a couple of geezers at the other end of the bar. I nudged my friend and pointed in their direction with my thumb and said, "Ten more years and that will be us!" He leaned out to look past me and replied, "You idjit, that's a mirror!" eldar |
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