Damn right lol.

Touche' lol.

ok i am dying on the floor here

LOL! Thank you for this one.

Please understand this isn't personal. I want that understood up front. But these kinds of comments are kinda what the OP is talking about. How many people who say this are being honest?

These are our ELECTED officials folks. Dont bi*ch. You hired them.

ok mods time for a lock befote this gets out of hand.

Oh lord, there always has to be a buzz kill, right wing, PC activist in every bunch. Go watch Fox news, the only news worth laughing at.

Too bad they mispelled underneath. Stupid people.

definately lost a bet

I would have beat the hell out of whoever took that order lol.

nice lol. been there.

Have before and would again. Its funny this came up here. I was just speaking to my very closeminded father about this subject. We are at odds because he being from small town, born in 1962, Ohio, he thinks we should all "stick to our own lots". I love my father but this kind of bigotry (no better word for it) does nothing but create problems in the long run.

I hate blurry, chin up photos taken while holding the camera in one hand pointing vaguely at yourself. Oddly, this is a female phenomena from what I've seen. Although to be fair, most guys pics are long distance shots where few details are discernible. Also pics where the lighting makes the person look like they are from planet Yorg or something.

Another good one for here.

"Single male seekinf single female. Looks not important. Must be tall, slim, and attractive."

"Used tombstone. Perfect for someone named Homer HendelBergenHeizel. One only"

This one is real I swear. I have the link if any doubts.

Another one appropriate for this site lol.

"Single male seeks double-jointed supermodel who owns her own brewery and grows her own pot. Access to free concert tickets a plus, as is an open-minded twin sister."

These are actual adds taken from the newspaper!


FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG.

FREE PUPPIES:
1/2 COCKER SPANIEL
1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG

FREE PUPPIES...
PART GERMAN SHEPHERD,
PART STUPID DOG

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs.
NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG.
LOOKS LIKE A RAT...
BEEN OUT AWHILE..
BETTER BE REWARD.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE...
ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED...
ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

NORDIC TRACK $300
HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY

GEORGIA PEACHES
CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE:
NEVER OPENED
USED ONCE

TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR?
WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS.
STARTING PAY:
$7 -- $9 PER HOUR.

EXERCISE EQUIPMENT:
QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.

ALZHEIMERS CENTER PREPARES
FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER

OPEN HOUSE
BODY SHAPERS
TONING SALON
FREE COFFEE & DONUTS

(And The Best One)

For Sale By Owner
Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
45 volumes.
Excellent condition.
$1,000.00 or best offer.
No longer needed. Got married last weekend.
Wife knows everything.

I love this Doctor

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't waste them on exercise.
Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer;
that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster.
Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn.
And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient
mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken.
Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).
And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine,
that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more
of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one
If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!

Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! ...... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger.
You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans ! Another vegetable!!!
It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!

Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.

And remember:

'Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention
of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways -
Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other -
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and
screaming 'WOO HOO, What a Ride'



AND.....

For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health.
It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.

1. The Japanese eat very little fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

3. The Chinese drink very little red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

5. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats
and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans.

CONCLUSION

Eat and drink what you like.
Speaking English is apparently what kills you.