do you think one is different from the other?


do you love to get them? hate it? somewhere in between?


do you feed off of how many you get in a day?
do you detest getting them ( this is me) and it actually ticks ya off?

somewhere in between

How many you get in a day, Hmmm I could count them on one hand for the year

I think it depends if they're genuine or if you think it's just bullchit. Bullchit ones are annoying.

I think a compliment is something that is said or implied
Being flattered is the feeling of the compliment.
That being said, I have no problem to compliment a persons dress/hair/job done, whatever...in fact, more females need to compliment more females and not put each other down..
I know some persons can be embarassed by compliments, but we need to take it gracefully, say 'why thank you',.. and move on.

Yes, I think there is a difference, although for some it may be the same when they give it.

A compliment is more genuine, doesn't even have to be personal. Someone who doesn't really know me, maybe doesn't even really like me, can still compliment me and mean it from the bottom of their heart.
Usually no strings attached, or at least it doesn't (shouldn't) feel that way.

Flattery to me is more what people do who do know you, or who want to get to know you, and want to get on my good side. So in a way there's something they want. Not necessarily bad, they may be really interested in me, but it can also be used to get something done.
In a way it's more personal and I think it is also meant to evoke a reaction whereas with a compliment a "thank you" would suffice.

I am still learning to receive compliments, I am much better at it than some 6-8 yrs ago. But there is a difference between accepting it with a "Thank you" and really receiving it in your heart. Most people can do the first, but not the latter, because deep down they still feel they aren't worthy.

Flattery can be fun. Usually part of flirting, and depending on the setting it can make me shy and uncomfortable or playful and happy.

we had to do this thing in one of my classes about are you a giver or a receiver..prof said those in "helping" professions tend to be givers but sometimes not so good at receiving

for instance..if someone compliments you on a paper you wrote, an essay test you completed or a professor wrote positive comments on your test or that you were an asset to have in the class..how would you feel?

my answer was : depends on if I
1. Respect the teacher and his or her opinion
2. If I feel I gave my best effort or close to it

I will accept a sincere observation or compliment about my academic achievements or about my work ethic, problem solving ability or about my sincerity when it comes to trying to help someone and will humbly say thank you.


flattery on other hand? I will size you up immediately and question your motives

Yes.
It's why they are two different words.
I think one can be synonymous with the other in certain situations though.


Compliments, not flattery.
And depends on the compliment.
If it's based on merit and truth, or just a need for their selfish emotional outpouring.

I love getting compliments from people I know that are basing the compliment on putting things together from what they know and observe about me.

I do not like getting compliments that are based solely on the other person experiencing an emotional reaction like excitement, or happiness, and they just ejaculate some nice words at me.
At best they are just empty words.
At worse the person offering them are looking for some reciprocal compliments.


Flattery is usually fun to play with. So, I love to get it, but to sarcastically play with it. It makes great banter


Compliments?
No. I'd prefer nachos. The kind with the cheese sauce. With jalapenos.
A big plate, please, since you offered. You make the best nachos in the world, possibly because you're so hot it makes them spicy and delicious.
See? Flattery can be fun.

ha!!! get your own damn nachos buster
by the way..most can't take that sarcastic sometimes biting back and forth banter without getting offended

I agree It's not easy to say the right thing at the right time.

Indeed many givers are to be found in 'helping' jobs, nurses and other medical personal ie.
There is nothing wrong with giving, but for many it is because of other reasons (they usually do not wish to face because it's too confronting).
I will not bore ppl with details. Usually ppl don't want to see it in the eye anyways, lol. But I have had ppl arguing that I was wrong, and then some months or a year later contact me to tell me I was right and that they had left their 'helping' job. Usually doing something that did really make them happy.
But giving (and helping) is a learning curve.

That points to the key to this. The assumed MEANING OF THE WORDS THEMSELVES.

It's common to think of flattery as fake, as a trick. Compliments are usually generally assumed to be at best genuine appreciations, and at worst, polite lies, or even thinly disguised flattery.


My point is, that due to the inherent way most people have come to define those words, the responses you'll most commonly get are some variation on "Compliments good; Flattery bad."

I have had people compliment me honestly, and I thought at the time that they were flattering me for personal gain of some kind. So I mistakenly refused their friendship. Other times I've been fooled by someone who I thought was appreciating me, who was actually lying to get me to open up my resources to them for plunder.

I do not do flattery.
I pander to no one.
That makes keyboarders on here most uneasy, no icons,
flowers, hearts, I am congenitally literal. I have
been told it makes me appear detached.

I do not mind being flattered, peeps seems to need
the tool, and it can make me smile but I really
have no need for it, it is rather wasted on me.

Garbage in, garbage out :-)

I think for me it depends on the person and the setting.
Compliments from someone that is sincere whether about looks or a job I've done always makes me feel good. Although, I haven't mastered taking them gracefully.

Flattery I am not a fan of especially if they appear to only be doing it to gain attention to themselves

my, my, that is such a lovely butterfly you have tatooed on yer butt...

hahahahahahaha
Good eyes :-)

Flattery will get you a new purse and a walk in closet.

They both make me uncomfortable, because it's been my experience that any time it's directed at me it means they want something and their trying to butter me up.

^^^ he's dreamy!

I could almost pity people who need constant attention and ego stroking...
If, I weren't busy snickering at them.