Yes, I will do what feels comfortable to me! That's one thing I have learnt from the past for sure! No more going out of my way to try and suit the other by doing things that don't really feel right to me.
I did feel that innate tendency come up with this man, which I think is why I reacted the way I did. I do NOT want to feel pressured, pushed, or made to do stuff that I just don't want to do.
Like him suggesting to go to a certain town for drinks that would mean about an hour's drive for me. Not going to happen. I'd told him I'm uncomfortable driving far in my car as it needs some maintenance at the mo, then he came up with that?!
Turned out he thought that town was close by for me, haha.
So just clearly telling a man does work.
The he said he'd come over to my area so I could even cycle it if I'd prefer that over the car.

What I've done so far is send him messages the way I normally would. Just general chit-chat.
And just now... he said it was a lot of fun to be exchanging this way, talking to each other via messages :D
Isn't that something?!
Now I can relax. And now I feel like telling him, soonish, "Okay, let's get that coffee!"

Yes, you're right, could very well be he's one of those that wants to meet before investing.
Well, maybe I'll just go meet him. I haven't checked the site yet to see if he's messaged anything at all. In a way certain things are handy. He's retired early so doesn't have to work, meaning he can easily come over than a working man, he didn't mind the drive (he lives quite far away and no way am I going over to his area in my car). He was fine with that.

Why is all this chit so difficult, haha. I'd much prefer a man ringing the doorbell, special delivery, "I'm your Mr Right!"
Skipping all that to-do of sifting and sorting, lol.

How we did it before the internet? I don't know as I never really dated much. Never liked it. I went abroad when I was 19, didn't date in Indonesia (too different, too short). Met my husband via the sport school, got married with children.
When we divorced we had internet.
So the old-fashioned way is more alien to me than the internet-way, haha.

24C sunny but there are some thin clouds. Bit of wind.

I suddenly remember that often men don't get what a woman is telling him as she's not direct enough.
To me I feel I have been direct, but I know you have to be so direct that to me it feels I'm horribly blunt. I know that as long as I still am polite I'm not clear enough for a bloke to understand.
So... I'm going to tell him more clearly -I hope. And see what happens.

Also odd to be fumbling with this stuff now, haha. I haven't been active with dating for quite some time. Had to heal after my last relationship, then there was the pandemic, then I was busy with other stuff.
How easy it is to forget how it all works, and the tiny things that you come across?!
I got a bit rusty, haha.

I've recently become a paying member of a 50+ dating site as I want to get on with it, meet someone, find someone. And suddenly I'm getting quite a lot of interest too.

That's exactly it and as it is, by lack of those messages, I do not have that feeling to go out and meet him. Why would I?
So far it feels to me as if all I've been doing is trying to explain to him why I don't want to meet him as it is.
I think he just doesn't get it. He feels something, sees potential, that seems enough for him to meet. As it is I don't feel that way about him though. I'd need more exchange...

I wouldn't quite put it that way, haha, but still... yes! You need to feel something, intrigue, a letch, whatever, but something.

Yeah, but that's mostly talking to people when you're already out and about.
And I do take it you exchanged for a bit with your GF before you met? Or did you send her a message right away to ask, "I think we have a lot of potential, shall me meet for coffees"?
There must have been something of intrigue or interest that made you want to get up and go out?

He said he thinks/feels there's a lot of potential (so clearly something about me and my profile moves him) and so he wants to meet me.
We have, however, barely even talked, and as such I have no interest really. Certainly not enough to go out to meet him. Why would I want to meet someone I don't know, and so far have no interest in at all?

He's okay to wait, but it seems to him that doesn't mean we keep messaging so we do get to know each other. To him it seems to mean, no messaging and I'll let him know whenever I'm ready to meet.

Kind of weird, to me anyways.

agreeing to meet someone for a drink?

I got this man wanting to meet over coffees and he's really interested in me.
But... we've not exchanged anything much and he seems to think that we're going to meet and have a drink and then get acquainted.

Personally I don't work that way. I prefer to let things evolve organically first and then...
And that can still go fast. With my last partner it took 1,5 weeks.
We got talking, hit it off right away, few days later talked on the phone which felt even better, and agreed to meet and set a date. Couldn't do that faster cos of a gig he had with his band otherwise we would have met even sooner.

I already told him I don't like to rush, prefer to let think develop organically, yet he now seems to think he has to wait for me to be ready. And that I will let him know when I am so we can meet and have a coffee?

Kind of like WTH? That means no/little exchange and still not getting to know one another? What's the point then?
As it is I'm not interested in the slightest, just wondering if I'm the weird one here, hihi.

So now I'm thinking, do most people just go on a meet & greet that way?
To me that would feel like meeting a total stranger -which he then would be- and assume / hope it's going to work out & you're not going to be tongue-tied.

So how do you go about it?
In a similar setting would you just go and have the drink or would you first prefer to have a bit more of a feel for the person, what they're like etc?

I've decided to not call her Rosa but Stella. That name suddenly came to me and seems to fit this kitten better.
I think if I'd stick to Rosa it'll keep reminding me of what happened a few weeks back, and also will be a constant reminder of the other kitten that passed away.
Stella means "Star" which I like!

Not easy to take a good photo as she keeps running and playing etc. and... she's so fast!
They're now in the barn where they have plenty of room to run and play.
They get to go outdoors occasionally as well now.

22C cloudy and quite a lot of NE wind.
What a change after all these sunny warm summer days!

Let's hope we haven't seen the last of it now that we've had Summer Solstice! Officially summer's started now, but doesn't look like it anymore.

24C sunny, reasonably strong W wind

Still recovering a bit from the long drive in a hot car.

Yes, the Apps / internet is always more of an approximation isn't it?
Here they measure some 15 kms from me, some other sites us Flushing which 2 islands down and 42 kms from me.
Then you have a lot of deviation.


OT - Talk about heavy rain, thunder, hail! Holy shizzel! A cloudburst.
Thank goodness I'd been able to get Nila indoors well before it started. She wasn't chuffed, but now she is, haha.
It was bad in capitals! So much rain it seemed like fog. Rain was going by in horizontal 'clouds'.
Then hail drumming on the flat roof and against the windows and sliding doors of the extension... Couldn't hear myself think! Nila was freaked out...

Thank goodness that's gone for now.
The garden has been watered for sure, a lot fell out of the sky!
But I hate these short intense cloudburst things!!

Happy I vacuumed the floor! My li'l fluff-ball Nila is losing a lot of hair with this heat, hihi.

Wonderful!! Wishing you both a great time!

28C mostly sunny, quite sticky, a little wind.
Thunderstorms expected by the end of the afternoon, possibly with heavy rain, hail, and strong gusts of 80km p/hr.

The garden can do with some serious water after weeks of drought, but to bring it in such an extreme way...
What happened to a normal summery shower in the evening?

RealFeel 52,7C???

Going to see li'l Rosa 2 days from now :D She'll be 7 weeks then.

That's the last time I'll visit her. The next time I'll go will be to bring her home!

There's me thinking this is about Wham!