Distance is such an odd thing. Not just literally but also how it is perceived.
I always feel that most interesting men live on the other side of the country, to the east or north-east.
Funny enough I've heard men from those areas say they experience the same thing concerning women.
That would almost suggest that all the great women -like me - live in the W or SW of our country and all the great quality men on the opposite sides.
In other words: not evenly spread?
Weird phenomenon.

Then there's travelling time/distance for love.
My country is small but has the highest population density of Europe which means traffic through most of the country is a nightmare!
The distance you can travel in an hour here compared to most areas of for instance Australia or US are much smaller.
Driving 150kms can very well take you 3 hours because of traffic jams!
That means if you date someone that technically only lives 1,5 hrs from you it becomes almost impossible to see each other.

Because of that the viable circle to find love got a helluva lot smaller! Just because there are too many people in my country and too much traffic.

Another side-effect of the traffic thing and the country being minute (try finding it on the world map if you don't know The Netherlands!) is that the perception of "too far" is also different from that in for instance Australia. For many here 50kms or more is considered "too far" while in large countries that's "no biggie", round the corner. Some feel more than 25kms is too far!

I can understand that in larger countries like the US and Australia you can experience the opposite: living in such a rural area that you cannot find someone and would have to travel maybe 5+ hours to get to an area with a bigger/better 'assortment', or any assortment at all.

How is this for you? Would and should it be easy to find someone where you live?
Or does distance and traffic form a hindrance as well?

Polyamory is when all people involved consent to it.
From what was said this wasn't the case in that situation.
So it isn't polyamory but lying & cheating, potentially putting people at risk of STDs, and leading them on.
In short: being a total @$$hole.

What they should've done... get together and give him hell!
Sisters gotta stand together!

As for what to learn...
Surely if he has 3 women in his pocket he can't make time for each on regular intervals. He probably came up with weird excuses a lot as to why he couldn't see them, as he was spending time with the other, and constantly alternating this.

So pay close attention to the signs, the red flags, and intuition. If something feels off, it is off. Trust that, not the man or what he says.
Then ask questions and if you're not satisfied with them, take appropriate action, even if that means having to deal with heartache and loss.

Hi KitKat!!
Nice to see you and hear from you again :D
Not sure what you mean? You don't recognize any of it and thus you're not getting it?

I myself really feel all these energies. I feel a bit tired/groggy, last night in bed I couldn't sleep while I'd been so incredibly tired that I even went to bed earlier than my normal.

Also, time seems to go by so oddly fast? Look at the clock and it's half one, next I look -which feels like half an hour later- and it's gone 5???

I just talked to my mum about it and she's having the exact same things.
She's also a bit dizzy.

It's really weird, feeling like you should and could sleep where you stand, yet wanting to do something, anything, but not really feeling 'it'.

I was glad to hear my mum feels the same as I was thinking it was my neck trouble, impairing bloodflow to the brain. That sometimes happens when I overdo it and I have been doing a bit too much.

You're welcome :)

FULL MOON CAPRICORN JULY 3rd
CET: 13.39
UK: 12.39
EST: approx. 7.39

We’re approaching an important time of the year with the buildup of the Lion’s gate in the near future now. So I’ve decided to translate this month’s full moon report. I know some enjoy & appreciate these, so here you are!
Since a lot is happening it’s also longer than usual. If it interests you and you are prone to these energies, I suggest you read it though!

Under influence of the warm sunlight and abundant light, crops will have reached their peak and come to fruition. They know and live their blueprint, grow and reach their most beautiful self.
Maturing, growing up and developing are processes that first happen on the inside.

We live in a time where more light comes in than quantum-physics can explain. More light particals means that more information is coming to us, a bigger and growing consciousness and more that comes to light (both within as with-out yourself).
Focus on what you want to let ripen & develop, give energy to what you truly wish to manifest. That what you have sown is strong and big enough now, all it asks is time to ripen a bit more.
Even though the moon is full, this is a good time to turn within and to experience what your blueprint is, here and now.
What want to be lived by & through you? Which beautiful strength have you come to share with the world?
Shine a light onto yourself, see which program is running within that doesn’t belong with your Soul, or which role you have been conditioned to play in your social network and is done. Where have you given your power away, where do you suppress your strength?
Which part of YOU are you going to put in the spotlight and how?

The moon in Capricorn makes ambitious, serious and comes with a larger sense of responsibility. Expressing how you feel is difficult, but what is important is that you know yourself and take your feelings into account.
Saturn –the ruler of Capricorn- makes a harmonious aspect with the moon and this causes Capricorn qualities to be helpful as opposed to a hindrance.
What you want to reach can be done with perseverance!

Jupiter helps you to dream big, so not go for what’s small and safe, but for that which makes you truly feel a YES!
Saturn keeps you solidly grounded, both feet on Earth, so you won’t get overzealous or chasing unrealistic goals.
Finding the balance between holding back and being overzealous is important. For this make sure you stay in touch with your feeling, your soul-knowing, and plan time for rest to tune into self.


Venus square Uranus can cause you to be wayward/quirky.. You want to prove you’re independent while in actual fact you feel unsteady.
This isn’t a time to take impulsive risks concerning love or finances.

The days following full moon Mars & Neptune aren’t harmonious, causing you to possible lack energy and having difficulty to stand up for yourself.
Writing down during full moon what drives you, gives you energy or joy, what wants to be lived by/through your soul can help if you experience difficulties causes by this Mars – Neptune thing.

From 4-8 July the sun and Black Sun are together, making you ‘dissolve’ so to speak. You will experience & feel little ego and identity, but will also not have the drive to take action.
Make sure you have time for rest, going within, enjoying and especially: listen to and feel your intuition and what comes up in your consciousness.

Sirius (THIS RELATES TO THE LION’S GATE) isn’t above the horizon yet, but sends awareness through the sunlight to your calling and greater needs. What re-memory comes to your mind in this light?

Happy Full Moon!


Source: Petrastam.com
Translation: Yours truly

22C cloudy, could get some sun this afternoon, but rain is also forecast.
Quite windy.

Hi fellow Dutchie!
It's okay the way it is. You could add a bit on what kind of man you're hoping to find.

Good luck!

I've come to realise that losing Roosje last month did affect me a lot, and in a way still does.
I notice that with the new kitten, Stella, I'm holding back, for instance with doing or buying things.
I didn't understand why at first, then it dawned on me that I'm afraid something is gonna go wrong again and I will get that horrible news a 2nd time.

My new kitten's name is Stella. She's not with me yet, I'm going to bring her home next week :D

Thank you, Julie :)

After almost a month of not painting I suddenly felt like it again :)
So in spite of yesterday heat I've been painting most of the afternoon. I've finished it off today :)

I'm calling this: Angel Watching.

I'm thinking you may not have the right view of a BDSM relationship.
Many people that are in the lifestyle are for a reason, some similar to yours.
Some find tremendous peace from it, relaxation, a letting go of. An enormous release. Which then helps them to function normally and properly in day to day life.
It can actually help to feel yourself, calm and happy.
If a solid spanking helps you, you are in a way into pain as a good spanking is not for the faint of heart.
Pain in BDSM is not to deliberately hurt someone and cause them distress or harm. It's not like beating someone up, nor out of anger.
It's the most controlled loving thing, in a way even more based on love than a regular relationship.
That is because it requires tremendous amount of mutual trust. Not just from the one that is in the sub role, but also the one who's the D, in equal measure. That's cos he/she must be able to rely on the feedback of the sub so he/she doesn't truly hurt them and is able to give them what they need, not more, not less.

If you do not wish this in a love relationship as it's purely about the discipline, not sex, then you could find a Dominatrix you see every now and then.
All can be catered to your needs.

32C sunny & blue skies, not much wind.

27C sunny & clear blue skies, a bit of wind.
Could get some clouds in the afternoon here.

All and all it's building up to another sweltering day (tomorrow).

Oh yes, Venus Rx...
I'm certain Spirit stopped me from jumping into this situation and had me doubt, question, etc. to protect me.
I've made very clear to Spirit I do not want another connection that's doomed to fail or another 'lesson' relationship. Done with that! Then I'd rather stay single.
I only want the right connection for me. I'm ready for that, worthy of it, looking forward to it!
Obviously Spirit is on my side, agreeing with me on this one.

And yup, it takes time. I remember when I was in that place after my divorce. Someone said I was going through rebound.
I felt he was nuts! But in retrospect he was dead on!
You simply cannot escape it, nor should one try as it's a natural process. You need it if you want to get 'whole' again.

Glad to hear you're back to your old self!
I too took my time to heal, and after that to enjoy being me!
I still celebrate my relationship with me. It's the most important one in life.

In any case, enjoy your 'me' time!

Well, maybe I intuitively sensed the following???
Turns out he got divorced earlier this year. So he's only very recently out of a relationship.

I'm not going to give that a try and end up in another rebound situation in which I'm the one that gets hurt.
I've done that before, ignored the fact he hadn't been single very long, because the vibe between us was astounding! But... it went wrong in the end, then took me 2 years of my precious time to get over that.

Maybe Spirit has intuitively made me hold back and tread carefully as opposed to jumping right in.

Currently watching Star Trek: Discovery which is set before Cpt Pike ends up on the Enterprise in Star Trek: Strange New Worlds.

It didn't draw me in as fast as ST:Strange New Worlds did. At first I thought of finding something else to watch as a lot was about Klingons that look like the Neanderthal version of them in this series.
I've never been keen on Klingon stuff.
Thank goodness it soon became very interesting regardless!

Lucky that I live in Western Europe, The Netherlands, where we have no hurricanes, tornados, rattle and other venomous snakes, cougars, dangerous spiders, great whites, (grizzly) bears, hornets, alligators.
And I do believe there are quite dangerous scorpions too, esp very small whitish ones.