I am recently widowed (3 months) and I joined JSH to make friends. I'm nowhere near ready to date but I'm enjoying all the friends I'm making here. I don't miss lead anybody I tell them the truth up front and I still have these friends. But I'm beginning to feel guilty because It's only been 3 months since his death. I loved him dearly he was my soulmate. Is it wrong for me to be here?

Sorry to hear that, I'm in the Same boat, Do whatever your heart tells you to do!

its not wrong for you to want human interaction and support.

no, you still can mourn some one you loved but you still need that closeness for friends. dont worry it doensnt mean that you dont miss him or loved him any less.

I'm very sorry for your loss

No you aren't wrong fo bein here for 2 reasons
1) you need something o help you get through
2) this isn't just for dating. there are others just looking for friends or to chat as well

My sincerest condolences on your loss.

It is definitely not wrong for you to be here. Friends can only help you through your time of need.

Well, I can't imagine your lonliness. You are only talking & sharing. Please don't lay a guilt trip on yourself. And, you don't know what God has in store for your future, how soon or not with a new mate. Please let it go and just make sure you take care of yourself, don't date too soon just because you feel lonesome.....

I'm sure he wouldn't want you to be miserable and alone. There's nothing wrong with being on this website.

You wouldn't have wished that upon him if things were reversed, would you?

Keep your chin up.

Just a word of advice from my own experience in dating three widows this past year. Don't start dating again until you have put the deceased into the proper perspective. In other words, don't make your new dates feel like a "third party" to a previous love experience. Rememeber, too, that a man in a new relationship doesn't need/want to hear about or compete with "Saint Whateverhis namewas". It's good to remember him and no one can take those precious memories away. But if you're not completely ready to move on, then hold off on dating. I'm not trying to be unfeeling, but without exception, the three widows I dated were far from over their deceased loved ones (one was a window for over 5 years). Their premature entry into the dating world wasn't fair to me or themselves.

We all start as friend's and go from their,,,, You need time a friend will give you that time or their not your friend

It's not "wrong" for you to be here if for now all you want are friends! We all could use more friends! Welcome, and good luck! I am so sorry for your loss. My first bf passed 21/2 years ago, and I had the same thought as you do. When I started I came here wanting friends, actually my profile still says that, but one "friend" turned into a great relationship for me, and I am so happy now!

you are doing NOTHING wrong.

you want to meet friends and find like minded people, and that is a GOOD thing


only us guys that are looking to date women are in the wrong :P

(had to inject some humor there)

eeek hit the button twice...


as i was saying, you are actually taking a step in the right direction by seeking out new friends. I cant imagine the heartbreak you are suffering, but i applaud you for being strong enough to move forward

Thanks for posting krazykitty. I lost my wife to MS fairly recently and was feeling guilty that I'm looking for interaction even though, like you, I'm not ready to get back out there.
There's no reason to feel guilty because friends are a great source of healing. And you see from the replies that your (our) situation is not unique, even though it's pretty tough and will be a gradual healing process.
Good luck to you and all who are dealing with the loss of a partner and are trying to make sense of it all...you have friends here.
-Ric-

It has been almost three years and I understand the guilt. Atleast with just friends you don't have to feel guilt. Friends can really help you.

You said it in your post, you're here for friends...I don't see the problem with wanting some friends, main reason I'm here. You don't mislead anyone to thinking your here for more, and your upfront about it...I see no issue here.