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| Topic: Why do most guys... | |
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have such a problem dating a single mom?? My bestfriend Nichole went on a date almost a month ago with this guy and she said he was really sweet and really cute. He was definately her type but then she told him about her 4 year old son and all of the sudden he had to go, he forget he needed to go to work and pick up something and he hasn't called her since. What is up with that?? I feel so bad for her. I have been single for a year by choice and since I have gotten back in the dating world, I haven't met many guys that except a single mom either except on here. I even went out with a guy about 4 months ago and when I told him about my daughter, he said "I can't raise someone else's baby??" It was a first date, not like I asked him to marry me or anything..
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Nothing wrong with his reaction, some people are dead set against dating people with kids, that is their prerogative. There are many that whether one has kids is not an obstacle. Be glad she found out early on
 Good luck
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I am a single mom too, with two kids, my oldest is 18, and if I meet a guy they either have to have kids already or at least like kids. I tell them up front, that way they can back out of the date before you even go on it if they want too. Its very hard being a single parent!
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I personally NEVER wait until the first date to tell a man I have children. Tell them right up front and save yourself the misery....
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(Birds of A Feather) is the Key... You have to find somebody in you same situation that can level with you... Single guy's with no kids...Scares the H**l out of them...
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I think it is a time thing. between work, kids, housework, sleep... there is not a whole lotta time left.
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Aye, but that's exactly it. We don't want to raise someone else's kid. 'Cause then we're just the guy ****ing their mom. Plus, some of us don't want that responsibility yet. We still have a lot of life ahead of us before we even want to procreate. It's my opinion that you should be financially secure before having a child, and most people aren't even that.
It doesn't matter if it's the first date... you're asking him to go on another, and give you the opportunity to start a relationship. If you aren't, then all you're really looking for is a ****buddy (which some people are fine with, I'd rather have a meaningful relationship). Even if a relationship blossoms, we'll never be their real father. Also, from my point of view, I don't want to be there for six months and have the kid get attached to me, especially if/when things don't work out. That kind of stuff can be detrimental to a child's psyche. Are those acceptable answers? |
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all the guys i ever dated didnt have a problem that i had kids, when i got together with my son dad, this is way before i even got pg, (hes my ex hubby) my daughter was about 3 and she ask me if he was her dad, even though she knew a little about her own father), i was going to tell her the truth untill he ask me what she said and he grab her and said yes im your dad.. and i didnt want to hurt her, she 25yrs old now, but she has always know the truth about her real dad, he lives her in town, and every now and then she will stop by and say hi to him she hasent talk to him in 2yrs and 2yrs prior his gf of 9yrs died and we both were there for him,
a friend of mine i used to babysit her kids, and she was married but she had a child by someone else,(before they gottogether) and when she gottogether with her husband she was already pg by someone that she was with prior, her daughters called him daddy and that didnt bother him, |
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have such a problem dating a single mom?? My bestfriend Nichole went on a date almost a month ago with this guy and she said he was really sweet and really cute. He was definately her type but then she told him about her 4 year old son and all of the sudden he had to go, he forget he needed to go to work and pick up something and he hasn't called her since. What is up with that?? I feel so bad for her. I have been single for a year by choice and since I have gotten back in the dating world, I haven't met many guys that except a single mom either except on here. I even went out with a guy about 4 months ago and when I told him about my daughter, he said "I can't raise someone else's baby??" It was a first date, not like I asked him to marry me or anything.. It's a tough world, and some of us are leary. Some have legitimate reasons, others just don't wanna be tied down. Personally, I've had two girlfriends in the last twelve years, both with a couple of children, all different fathers. Gaining the unconditional(?)love and trust of three instead of just one, is more than most could ask for, at least 'til the end. Then it just becomes three times the pain for everyone involved! That's not to say I wouldn't do it all over again..... !! You live and learn....
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Aye, but that's exactly it. We don't want to raise someone else's kid. 'Cause then we're just the guy ****ing their mom. Plus, some of us don't want that responsibility yet. We still have a lot of life ahead of us before we even want to procreate. It's my opinion that you should be financially secure before having a child, and most people aren't even that. It doesn't matter if it's the first date... you're asking him to go on another, and give you the opportunity to start a relationship. If you aren't, then all you're really looking for is a ****buddy (which some people are fine with, I'd rather have a meaningful relationship). Even if a relationship blossoms, we'll never be their real father. Also, from my point of view, I don't want to be there for six months and have the kid get attached to me, especially if/when things don't work out. That kind of stuff can be detrimental to a child's psyche. Are those acceptable answers? yes especially if honest  welcome and enjoy jsh |
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have such a problem dating a single mom?? My bestfriend Nichole went on a date almost a month ago with this guy and she said he was really sweet and really cute. He was definately her type but then she told him about her 4 year old son and all of the sudden he had to go, he forget he needed to go to work and pick up something and he hasn't called her since. What is up with that?? I feel so bad for her. I have been single for a year by choice and since I have gotten back in the dating world, I haven't met many guys that except a single mom either except on here. I even went out with a guy about 4 months ago and when I told him about my daughter, he said "I can't raise someone else's baby??" It was a first date, not like I asked him to marry me or anything.. hummmmmmm why is it most guys ???  .... my fav .. sorry my dear BUT I think its the type of guy and NOT MOST guys ..sorry ... I am pretty glad I do not fall into THAT category ... Good luck anyway
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see thats the difference between "guys" and "MEN" the woman im waiting to see has a terrible 2yr old... whoo hoo... finally someone on my level..
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lol me2g
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Most single women come with children and men need to understand they are a package deal. If they run away they were not the one for you anyway. When you least expect it Mr. Wonderful will come along.
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Edited by
Justunrick
on
Thu 03/20/08 07:34 AM
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I have no issues dating a woman with children. But if your going to lump guys into one pile. Then Why do most women on places like this site say they are looking for one thing and when you contact them they have no interest even if you match what they are looking for to a perfect fit.
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see thats the difference between "guys" and "MEN" the woman im waiting to see has a terrible 2yr old... whoo hoo... finally someone on my level.. 
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I can say the same applies to single dads. Most women say how attractive it is for a man to be raising his children on his own etc.. But my experience has been that a woman (at least the ones I've dated), Deep down, Would rather have that man put her and her children first. When his own take priority, They're not ready to accept that.
I'm not saying that it applies to ALL of you ladies, Just my experience, That's all. |
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Edited by
iamlookingforyou2
on
Thu 03/20/08 07:43 AM
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That is so true!! My brother is a single father and every girl that I meet say he is such a stand up guy for doing that but then why does he have such a problem with having a girlfriend...
And just to let you all now, their is a difference between a guy and a man..I have met alot of guys where I live and haven't met hardly any men. But on here there are alot a good men. I have talked to some of them. |
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Aye, but that's exactly it. We don't want to raise someone else's kid. 'Cause then we're just the guy ****ing their mom. Plus, some of us don't want that responsibility yet. We still have a lot of life ahead of us before we even want to procreate. It's my opinion that you should be financially secure before having a child, and most people aren't even that. It doesn't matter if it's the first date... you're asking him to go on another, and give you the opportunity to start a relationship. If you aren't, then all you're really looking for is a ****buddy (which some people are fine with, I'd rather have a meaningful relationship). Even if a relationship blossoms, we'll never be their real father. Also, from my point of view, I don't want to be there for six months and have the kid get attached to me, especially if/when things don't work out. That kind of stuff can be detrimental to a child's psyche. Are those acceptable answers? |
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I have seen this happen both ways it is sad but always be honest up front. Before there is a first date give them there out if they want it quick.
Myself I have raised both of my kids and they have both moved out. Now would it bother me if the man had kids guess that would all depend how the kids took to me for each are differnt. I would never go in and expect for things to fall right into place kids have a mind of there own to. Most likely if there kids don't like you it is due to issues in the past it is not an easy road and it is one that one would have to be willing to go down. Not all want that, each person deserves to be able to chose the situation they are willing to deal with. When they leave that quick just be thankful before you or your kids got attached to them. It is all about being Honest from the beginning. |
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