Community > Dating & Relationships

Topic: is this a bad thing?
mry Joined Thu 08/23/07 Posts: 8401	Mon 03/03/08 07:34 PM
Personally, I think a man looks like a cheesebag if they don't pay...if you can't get them to spend any money now they never will... save the sharing of the bills for later and at least try to impress her now.

bassman1959 Joined Sat 02/23/08 Posts: 60	Mon 03/03/08 07:38 PM
You should insist on paying. Or at least get her some kind of gift or surprise if she insists on paying. Nope, I disagree. She is a woman that is proud of her position in life. If you insist on paying you will scare her away. These days more and more professional women are at least paying there own way and even paying for the whole date. They understand that you work hard for your money and they just want things to be fair. However, on the second date....if you haven't done it already, buy her a single rose.

ThatKurtGuy Joined Sun 12/16/07 Posts: 132	Mon 03/03/08 07:38 PM
I went on a date a few nights ago and naturaly wanted to pay for dinner and the movie we saw. Thats just how I was brought up. The man pays, at least on the first few dates. Is that wrong? I mean, we are going out on a second date on thursday but she told me that she would like to pay for part if not all of the date. I was raised that the man always pays. He also opens doors, pulls out chairs, and has manners. We are a rare breed nowadays though man. If they don't appreciate it, they arn't for you

NotConanObrien Joined Fri 01/25/08 Posts: 102	Mon 03/03/08 07:38 PM
When they don't want to pay, I always think that means they don't want it to officialy count as a date.

aa81 Joined Tue 10/16/07 Posts: 45	Mon 03/03/08 07:41 PM
When they don't want to pay, I always think that means they don't want it to officialy count as a date. that could be a whole new topic, signs that a woman isn't interested. .lol

MirrorMirror Joined Fri 10/26/07 Posts: 89680	Mon 03/03/08 07:43 PM
You should insist on paying. Or at least get her some kind of gift or surprise if she insists on paying. Nope, I disagree. She is a woman that is proud of her position in life. If you insist on paying you will scare her away. These days more and more professional women are at least paying there own way and even paying for the whole date. They understand that you work hard for your money and they just want things to be fair. However, on the second date....if you haven't done it already, buy her a single rose. Proper etiquette in that situation would call upon you to buy her a gift of some kind of at least equal value.

egoodrich Joined Wed 09/12/07 Posts: 7140	Mon 03/03/08 07:59 PM
i insist on paying, especially on the 1st date. always have. there's been a time or two where she gets a little mad about it (not because i insist on paying, rather she feels bad that i'm blowin a bunch of cash on her), and i always end up using, the "when we go out for drinks after dinner, buy me one". couse, i always insist on picking up our bar tab too

NotConanObrien Joined Fri 01/25/08 Posts: 102	Mon 03/03/08 07:59 PM
Oops, I meant "When they don't want ME to pay".

lynn83 Joined Sun 01/27/08 Posts: 646	Mon 03/03/08 08:00 PM
I went on a date a few nights ago and naturaly wanted to pay for dinner and the movie we saw. Thats just how I was brought up. The man pays, at least on the first few dates. Is that wrong? I mean, we are going out on a second date on thursday but she told me that she would like to pay for part if not all of the date. I was raised that the man always pays. He also opens doors, pulls out chairs, and has manners. We are a rare breed nowadays though man. If they don't appreciate it, they arn't for you Why don't more men act like that.

lynn83 Joined Sun 01/27/08 Posts: 646	Mon 03/03/08 08:02 PM
When they don't want to pay, I always think that means they don't want it to officialy count as a date. that could be a whole new topic, signs that a woman isn't interested. .lol I don't think it's that she's trying to say she's not interested. I do the same when I feel bad for the guy having to pay all the time.

aa81 Joined Tue 10/16/07 Posts: 45	Mon 03/03/08 08:06 PM
When they don't want to pay, I always think that means they don't want it to officialy count as a date. that could be a whole new topic, signs that a woman isn't interested. .lol I don't think it's that she's trying to say she's not interested. I do the same when I feel bad for the guy having to pay all the time. well thats good to know. .

blueeyedbarbie Joined Tue 01/22/08 Posts: 310	Mon 03/03/08 08:09 PM
Man pay's and all of that i want to be wined and dined!

tmbond Joined Sat 02/09/08 Posts: 1462	Mon 03/03/08 08:09 PM
I like to offer, but really appreciate and accept if he insists.

stacylgh Joined Wed 02/27/08 Posts: 39	Mon 03/03/08 08:09 PM
I like to pay my way for the first date. Makes it more casual until you see how it's going to go. I used to go out with this guy who made a big deal of paying for me & my kid in front of people. He liked to show off & would pick up the check for the whole table. We're talking 200-300 bucks. That made me dig in my heels about it. Bring her flowers or something & let her pay her half.

aa81 Joined Tue 10/16/07 Posts: 45	Mon 03/03/08 08:14 PM
I like to pay my way for the first date. Makes it more casual until you see how it's going to go. I used to go out with this guy who made a big deal of paying for me & my kid in front of people. He liked to show off & would pick up the check for the whole table. We're talking 200-300 bucks. That made me dig in my heels about it. Bring her flowers or something & let her pay her half. wow. . thats just trying to show off. . that's what im trying to avoid, I don't want her "digging in her heels"

aa81 Joined Tue 10/16/07 Posts: 45	Mon 03/03/08 08:14 PM
I like to pay my way for the first date. Makes it more casual until you see how it's going to go. I used to go out with this guy who made a big deal of paying for me & my kid in front of people. He liked to show off & would pick up the check for the whole table. We're talking 200-300 bucks. That made me dig in my heels about it. Bring her flowers or something & let her pay her half. wow. . thats just trying to show off. . that's what im trying to avoid, I don't want her "digging in her heels"

rollingthunder729 Joined Sun 03/02/08 Posts: 10	Tue 03/04/08 02:09 AM
I have an idea for you dude< next time you are planing a date, make sure you discuss the evening. ex: would you like to go dutch? or may i have the honor of paying for the both of us tonight? 9 times out of 10 they will let you pay the first time, even if they dont like you to pay thier way. its all in HOW you say it

jenleah32 Joined Sat 09/22/07 Posts: 4577	Tue 03/04/08 02:15 AM
I had a guy take me out and he asked me out he paid for everything and even cooked me dinner but asked me for gas money to take me home...So I handed him $40 and he said this won't fill my tank up and I looked at him and said "well you didn't use a whole tank to pick me up so I'm not filling your tank up...honestly your just mad cus I didn't give you some!!"