Dude, get over it! If you'd got laid, you'd probably not be concerned. Dates don't come with guarantees!

If you chose a place beyond your comfort level, shame on you! Don't gamble with money you can't afford to lose without tears.

I'd never spend money that I would only feel good about if I achieved a certain outcome. If money were a problem, I'd rather choose a more downscale place where I could just enjoy her company, and the evening, regardless of the outcome.

She might have heard the gears in your head calculating the time and money. Some people are good at sensing non-verbals. If so, your posts prove she was right in being irritated at you feeling she somehow owed you something. She didn't.

You asked her out, you should pick up the check. She also has no obligation to pursue dating you, you shouldn't feel cheated, it is the gentleman thing picking up the check.

I'd make you pay...but I might pay you later!

sheeeeeeeesh...I pay all the time; even for the table next to me if the urge strikes. After all, (hate to say this) it is only money, not the air we breathe or some such physically necessary item. Besides, "it is better to give than receive"


mry

i had the same thing happen over the summer. took this chick out to dinner and some drinks, and i picked up the tab for everything (which i always insist on anyway). we're having great conversation going for the entire 5 or so hours that we're out, and made plans to go out the next weekend.
then 2 days later (always gotta wait 2 days), i give her a call to say i had a great time, and got her voice mail. no returned e-mails. nothin. never heard from her again, but of course, i still get random "hugs" and "drinks" from her on facebook

If you can't afford to pay for the full date then you have no business dating. If popcorn and a video is your speed there is nothing wrong with that. I do agree with Pleasure Pirate, and add this. You should choose something within both of your comfort levels, financially and socially.

If all goes well then a second date will absolutely happen. When that happens and she is a kind person, she might offer to spring for that one. But don't expect it. Just enjoy, listen and learn.

However, if you find you don't get to the second date then you need to go back and review, rewind and learn. Be honest with yourself. Were you trying too hard? Did you present a false self? You know, different from your picture/profile/emails/chats? It could also have nothing to do with you. Then you don't need to dwell on it for very long.

I have been on a few dates that although they were pleasant, I knew they were not for me. Hey, I know how to treat people and being kind is always right.

But when the guy shows up 5 or more inches shorter, heavier, un showered, with half his face drooping I have to wonder, "Where is the guy from the pictures that asked me on the date?" Unbelievable!! Then when those guys try so hard to impress me and start pawing at me I get the creeps big time. I will end the date nicely as long as he is respectful enough. Sometimes I tell him right there it's not a match, best wishes. Other times I wait to let him down, usually the next day. It's never easy if he is a really nice person. But there is no point in dragging it out. That just really would not be kind.

Just be glad this girl did you a favor and didn't waste any more of your time and money! Don't be bitter. Don't try to be or do something you are not. Be the best you can be for the best lady that will eventually come into your life. That won't happen if you are bitter or you expect SOMETHING! You just need more dating experince, even if they are only 1st dates. Kind of like playing sports, you have to keep at it to get any better.

Chin up and Good Luck!

I suggest you might look at the Forum Thread "First Date Tips." Looks reasonable to me.

I just wanted to clear up a misconception. This isn't really about the money. I have plenty of that. I can afford to pay for lots of first dates and not bat an eyelash at the cost. What really has me riled up is that I felt like I'd been led on by somebody for the express purpose of getting a free meal.

I've had a full night of sleep, so I'm less upset now than I was yesterday evening. It was out of line for me to suggest that I'd be hundreds of dollars richer if I'd made my date split the cheque. Most of the time, I leave the date with an honest impression of the chemistry between us and I'm happy to pay whether there's something there or not. I'm upset over this incident because it feels like somebody gave me an intentionally dishonest impression, just to make sure that I'd pay for dinner.



I really wasn't calculating the cost, though. All that was running through my head that entire evening was how much fun this girl was and how compatible we seemed. I left that restaurant completely stoked about what seemed like an inevitable second date. (By the way, just as an aside, I would be very disappointed if I had gotten laid. I've managed 26 years of waiting until I'm married. I hope to keep that trend up.)

I feel that since you asked her out, you should pay.

And look at it this way, her loss, not yours, now you can focus your attention on someone else.

Hmmmmmmmmmm whoever asks for the date pays.......

Maybe you need to do a coffee date? I actually prefer coffee dates over eating out the first time anyways. When we go out for coffee, I always plan on being there a few minutes ahead of time and I BUY my own drink.
Honestly, these women don't owe you another date. They actually don't owe you anything! Maybe when you make the date, you should actually tell them that you expect them to pay for their own meal. HMMM I wonder how many dates you will have then? I don't think to many women will go out with you actually.
Do you know why she didn't want a second date with you? Did you think that you connected at dinner? I mean, usually you can tell by your conversation if you connected or not. Was there a lot of quiet time in your conversation?
All I can say is, move on and IF you expect your next date to pay half of the bill..PLEASE tell her ahead of time so she can be prepared to do so. And by the way..Good luck

Was the date going fine until the bill came? If your even so much as hinted at her paying or made a big production of y0u paying, she might have thought you were a cheap skate and got turned off. Why do you assume she was misleading you? Maybe she was into you until the subject of the bill came......

Ya, I like coffee dates better anyway on the first one... way less pressure.... I have a friend who just got divorced and I explained how the coffee date works... can lead to dinner, but doesn't have to lead to anything else.... he loves it...

"what a concept"

I agree, if you invited her out you should pay. Nowadays most women will offer to pay for their portion, especially if they dont feel any sparks however, there are a few that will just see the date as a meal ticket and say nothing. While I personally think it's tacky of her not contacting you whether to say thank you, sorry it's not you it's me, whatever she should have faced you.

Usually my first dates are in the afternoon a cup of coffee, a walk, simple things like that, that allow us to talk and get to know each other.

I actually didn't make a production of it at all. I very discretely picked up the cheque, slipped my credit card into the slot, and put it back on the tray.

split it.

paying for everythig is something you do with your girlfriend.

if shes not your gf, dont give her gf treatment.

a girl who expects it of you and calls you cheap is showing a big bright red flag, so nothing lost.

wow... you're something.....

ooooohhhhh the barter system