TWENTY WAYS TO CONFUSE SANTA CLAUS


1.Instead of milk and cookies, leave him a salad, and a note explaining
that you think he could stand to lose a few pounds.


2.While he's in the house, go find his sleigh and write him a speeding
ticket.


3.Leave him a note, explaining that you've gone away for the holidays.
Ask if he would mind watering your plants.


4.While he's in the house, replace all his reindeer with exact replicas.
Then wait and see what happens when he tries to get them to fly.


5.Keep an angry bull in your living room. If you think a bull goes crazy
when he sees a little red cape, wait until he sees that big, red Santa
suit!


6.Build an army of mean-looking snowmen on the roof, holding signs that
say "We hate Christmas," and "Go away Santa"


7.Leave a note by the telephone, telling Santa that Mrs. Claus called
and wanted to remind him to pick up some milk and a loaf of bread on his
way home.


8.Throw a surprise party for Santa when he comes down the chimney.
Refuse to let him leave until the strippers arrive.


9.While he's in the house, find the sleigh and sit in it. As soon as he
comes back and sees you, tell him that he shouldn't have missed that
last payment, and take off.


10.Leave a plate filled with cookies and a glass of milk out, with a
note that says, "For The Tooth Fairy." Leave another plate out with half
a stale cookie and a few drops of skim milk in a dirty glass with a note
that says, "For Santa"


11.Take everything out of your house as if it's just been robbed. When
Santa arrives, show up dressed like a policeman and say, "Well, well.
They always return to the scene of the crime."


12.Leave out a copy of your Christmas list with last-minute changes and
corrections.


13.While he's in the house, cover the top of the chimney with barbed
wire.


14.Leave lots of hunting trophies and guns out where Santa's sure to see
them. Go outside, yell, "Ooh! Look! A deer! And he's got a red nose!"
and fire a gun.


15.Leave Santa a note, explaining that you've moved. Include a map with
unclear and hard-to-read directions to your new house.


16.Set a bear trap at the bottom of the chimney. Wait for Santa to get
caught in it, and then explain that you're sorry, but from a distance,
he looked like a bear.


17.Leave out a Santa suit, with a dry-cleaning bill.


18.Paint "hoof-prints" all over your face and clothes. While he's in the
house, go out on the roof. When he comes back up, act like you've been
"trampled." Threaten to sue.


19.Instead of ornaments, decorate your tree with Easter eggs.


20.Dress up like the Easter Bunny. Wait for Santa to come and then say,
"This neighborhood ain't big enough for the both of us."

omfng thats awesome txs.rotflmao

OMG,,,, Awesome way to wake up!!!
Still Laughing

lmao cute Txs ;)

so cute

LOL that was good

that was friggin great!

Would he even show up the next year if I tried one of these?

Hummm don't know maybe ya should try one Gryphyn lol thought we all
needed a little Christmas Cheer lmao

Yes Txs being so far away from the ones we love does take its toll. As
Alfred said For whom the bell Tolls, it tolls for thee. I wish one day
it would toll a whole different tone. One of happiness and joy and
little feet running down the hall.

Hummm well Gryphyn I hope you get that wish of little feet running down
the hall! For me I have already had the pleasure of enjoying that one
now mine is a grandbaby that pitty pats down the hall and still a sweet
sound they make lol. Maybe someday my x-mas will no longer be lonely.
Even with kids they can only fill so much of that void.

As you have said to me many times Txs dreams are what keep us going and
as long as we keep dreaming they can be fulfilled.

Lmao, there ya go using my words on me now yeah your right and I will
keep that dream alive :)

Well they were good words, why wouldn't I use em?

I like # 14. LMAO@ the whole thing.

Hmmmmmmmmmm!let me see here.#16 sounds awful dangerous for me so I think
I'll just hang back at the wood line and watch the funny show with
stupid Santa.I'm smarter than your average bear anyhow,I would of never
fallen for that primitive trap.I would of threw the Christmas star into
the trap and watch a really cool fireworks display.Geeeeeeee!People
think were so dumb.Josh!And the tooth fairy is going to be quite
disappointed because I ate half of the fresh cookie
already."YUMMY"(lol)Merry Christmas!TxsGal.Godspeed!Cybear.