Here is the situation...I have been talking to this guy from out of state for many months now, but we have never met. In the meantime my x boyfriend comes back and wants an exclusive relationship. Well I said fine but I never gave up emailing the man I never met. I don't know why except that I really liked him, but somehow it doesn't feel like reality.

Well come to find out my x boyfriend who has my password has known all along and has been lurking in my emails. So I said I would stop emailing and I have, but I am very upset inside about my x boyfriend snooping in my emails. My question is...do I have a right to feel upset? Should he have been lurking? I never meant to hurt anyone.

omg!....that is so wrong... there was a reason he became the EX..... if you really really liked this other guy keep talking to him... it's for you not anyone else and that's how it should be... i say change your password and get back in touch with him... give it a shot.... better than not thinkin what if...

I would really be pissed, that is trespassing on your personal territory, I would see red flags popping up all over!!!

Your ex was in the wrong....you were not. Your privacy is your own and it should stay that way. I would've dumped him for snooping around in your mail!!! That means he doesn't trust you and you need trust in a relationship dear....Best of luck to you!!!

I think you should feel upset that he did go thru your emails. Everyone needs their privacy and hes not giving it to you. Yes it was kind of not good to be talking to both of them, but like you said, the guy out of state doesnt feel like reality. Ive kinda been in the same spot before. Just talk it out with him and see what happens

First of all he had NO right to be snooping around. You have every right to talk to who you want to. I would think about the reasons why you broke up with him in the first place.

Of course you never meant to hurt anyone, I would still stay in touch with the guy from out of state....

Good luck, I hope that it works out for you.

Sounds like a major control issue. I would NEVER ck someone elses mail. If she wants a friend, not my business. How ever,if you kept him as a saftey, in case ex wanted to be an ex again? What does that say?
I would be rethinking what I really wanted & would state that my mail is just that; "my mail." Keep you nose out.

If that is a deal breaker, wouldn't be a deal I wanted.
I control me & NOBODY else.

Everyone is entitled to privacy .. that is true .. but secracy about things from someone that you claim to want a relationship with can be and is a problem.. It seems sort of self sabatoging .. if you want it to work you have to be open for it to work .. I don't like his methodology but the truth is always the best policy.. Are you upset because he snooped or upset cause you got caught , or a combination of the two.. I think you need to own what is yours and let the other go ... just mho

I do worry about the control issue...I think kept the new one around because I was afraid my x wold dum me again. Is that wrong of me, I really am not sure...

LOL, that was dump me again!

I'm kinda on the other side here... lol I can see it both ways. He must have had a reason to suspect something was going on which is why he checked the emails in the first place. Turns out, he was right... Depending on what the emails said, he might have every right to be upset. I know I would if I saw emails like that coming from my bf to some other woman.
I don't agree with the route he took, he totally invaded your privacy. However, I guess I can see why he's upset too tho

did the email guy know that you got back with the X?

was everything laid out on the table? and open?

the X shouldn't have EVER been in your email, that's invasion of privacy.....which in my case would mark the end of the 'relationship' ...no trust, no relationship..period

i say change your passwords, and get in touch with email guy again, who knows, maybe email guy will turn into 'current'

Seems he has a trust issue??

never share your passwords....I hope he doesn't have your ATM password

I agree I should not have done it...but in my own defense I really just wanted to wait a bit until I could see if my x was really serious.

And does the boyfriend want me more because he saw someone elsc wanted me too?

and lets talk about the guy you are emailing for just a minute .. have you been completely honest with him ? Again I am not sure of the story but seems Honesty is the best policy and it is never okay to play or use people and their emotions .. prehaps you are attracting this trouble ??

opps double post

I don't blame you at all. I'm sure you both have trust issues with each other. (there's a reason you broke up in the first place)
If it was me... I probably wouldn't have cut off the emailing either until I more sure of the relationship.

LOL, God NO, I was stupid to give it to him a long time ago.