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| Topic: Self-protect from love? | |
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self protecting...that definitely sounds like me...after a bad marriage that ended very badly, i tend to do that often. i have been hurt badly and unfortunately now i keep people at arm's length to avoid being hurt again. Becca But see that's the point. Who of us, having LOVED at some point was not hurt? It's very hard to have mountains without valleys, but it's a reason to want another mountain in the distance 
Fade, you definitely have a good point there...i can't protect myself forever because who knows what i will miss? it's something i have been working on...it's just so hard to let my guard down sometimes. i have begun doing that with the guy i am with and it scares me...it really does..but i know in the long run that i can't protect myself forever...slowly but surely, i am letting him in, and i have to admit, it feels pretty good.. Becca |
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This is a perfect topic for me. Yes I do. Ive had this conversation with many friends recently, because people take interest in me and I ward them off or avoid them. Happened last night actually, I was all ready to try to let the wall down for what I thought was a great guy. Then he "disclosed" that he has a wife at home. Good thing I didnt let that wall down. I tend to do the same thing. In fact I've realized I'm probably horrible material for internet dating because I have trouble trusting. BUT I've decided I'm going to continue to throw caution to the wind in my newest endeavor because you can't ever really love until you do. 
 
I feel your same concerns and passions of heart. this place has made my heart love and also caused many hurts. I try to be VERY upfront NOW, and ask MANY questions right off the bat. Because I don't want to waste time,lol and if THEIR NOT sincere then cool,,see-ya..lol But to say I protect my heart, NO,,I can't find THAT ability in my mental fuctions of on-going thoughts,lol... If I love, I love, and I will just battle any and all up-sets, or disapointments. As they come into that relationship sit-com..lol
Fear can stop love from feeling the other person's heart. And to fall fast, is to live in constant sorrow,lol So everyone's happy medium, must be found only in THEM!
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"Love can mend your life
But love can break your heart" You got to Self protect yourself Sometimes |
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I have self-protected so long it is hard to stop! always a reason or doubt looming near. You are right DTH love is grand but it can devistate you just as easily. Proceed with caution..I guess is my motto
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I have self-protected so long it is hard to stop! always a reason or doubt looming near. You are right DTH love is grand but it can devistate you just as easily. Proceed with caution..I guess is my motto
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I was watching "Something's Gotta Give" the other day .. Diane Keaton falls in love with Jack Nicholson. But he won't commit. They split. She cries & cries & cries  At her computer, on her bed, in the shower. Well you get the idea....
Then her daughter comes over, sees the mom crying and asks her what's wrong. Diane says "I'm in love" and the daughter says "I told you to self-protect" Diane comes back with "You don't really buy the stuff you say do you? You can't outsmart being hurt" Daughter says "I think it's worth trying" "You can't hide from love for the rest of your life because maybe it won't work out ... because maybe you'll become unglued. It's just not a way to live." ie .. falling in love may hurt but it's a fantastic feeling to BE in love .. Then she asks her daughter "I just have to ask you .. what in the WORLD are you waiting for?" So do you self-protect? Are you afraid of falling in love, of being hurt, so you keep yourself in 'walls up mode' ?? I do big time. |
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If you put that wall up then no one can get in to hurt you but, you can't get out to love either. What you have to do is place a chisel and hammer on top of your wall. Give someone permission to start chipping away until you find out if the can come in or not. Keep a bag of sac-crete handy to repair any holes, but give it a try.
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self protecting...that definitely sounds like me...after a bad marriage that ended very badly, i tend to do that often. i have been hurt badly and unfortunately now i keep people at arm's length to avoid being hurt again. Becca But see that's the point. Who of us, having LOVED at some point was not hurt? It's very hard to have mountains without valleys, but it's a reason to want another mountain in the distance
Fade, you definitely have a good point there...i can't protect myself forever because who knows what i will miss? it's something i have been working on...it's just so hard to let my guard down sometimes. i have begun doing that with the guy i am with and it scares me...it really does..but i know in the long run that i can't protect myself forever...slowly but surely, i am letting him in, and i have to admit, it feels pretty good.. Becca THAT is great news Becca. Because in keeping ourselves from hurt, we deny ourselves JOY
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"Love can mend your life But love can break your heart" You got to Self protect yourself Sometimes Well 'sometimes' being the key word here eh? Living "matters of the heart" with prudence is just plain common sense. But I am a passionate person. About life. About love. So I am going to give the same way. Now ..... I may suffer consequences for that but I'll tell you this. No man who has ever experienced love from me can walk away saying it was not intense and passionate., full of life & joy. To me, that's the only way to live .......... 
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If someone is able to find the door, I may let them in.
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Some of us are very vulnerable to love... I personally may be picky, but when I do run in to someone that is a match, then I am right there in the midst of love and just as transparent as glass. I DO NOT know how to self-protect. HOW does one do it... SAY to oneself... "HEART---It is time to self protect, pretend you don't like this guy." I think it is all a show. I think it is impossible to self-protect, that it is all a lie. We act like we can self protect-but THOSE who THINK they are capable of it, are just better at HIDING the LIE of what their heart is truly feeling than other are. THAT is my thinking!
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If someone is able to find the door, I may let them in. well .. THAT'S a start 
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Some of us are very vulnerable to love... I personally may be picky, but when I do run in to someone that is a match, then I am right there in the midst of love and just as transparent as glass. I DO NOT know how to self-protect. HOW does one do it... SAY to oneself... "HEART---It is time to self protect, pretend you don't like this guy." I think it is all a show. I think it is impossible to self-protect, that it is all a lie. We act like we can self protect-but THOSE who THINK they are capable of it, are just better at HIDING the LIE of what their heart is truly feeling than other are. THAT is my thinking! But that IS the self-protection ... because that person lives in denial. Denial is a huge defense mechanism that does not allow love to enter in to relationships, even their own. They only deceive themselves  
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The men that were in my life still call. They say they didn't know what a good thing they had until it was gone. duh
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The men that were in my life still call. They say they didn't know what a good thing they had until it was gone. duh oh I have a great saying for that pattern in my life: They always regret. They always return. It's ALWAYS too late.
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The men that were in my life still call. They say they didn't know what a good thing they had until it was gone. duh oh I have a great saying for that pattern in my life: They always regret. They always return. It's ALWAYS too late.
Perfect. I don't let them back. Once they show they are stupid enough to let me go, I am done. |
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Never let pride stop you from recrossing a bridge.
If you learn from past problems,you can build a better relationship. Done it & proud to wear the T-shirt. |
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Agreed .. but you have to learn which bridge to cross and which bridge to burn
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ABSOLUTELY
We learn from experience. |
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