I don't like myspace at all.. I think it's trouble. For most

Hmmm. I remember a time when Parents were suppose to make final decisions about the safety of their children. While having a supporting role as mentor or even technical advisor seems normal for extended family I would be highly unforgiving of anyone who excused my child doing something so obviousely dangerous and not telling me immediately. If my teenager was sore about it too bad.

What she just said is what I was saying, if your kids are going to hide something like that from you, then you blow it wide open, it will only make them be more sneaky.

and what could have been just growing pains, asserting independance could turn into something more, because the child doens't feel like they have any privacy. They will push bigger and larger boundries.

I had a mother who I love dearly, but she was constantly in my diary, on my computer, I left home at 17. I wasn't doing anything wrong, I didn't even have sex until 4-5 years ago. Anyone with the seek and destroy attitude is going to push the kids to do worse than hide little boyfriends on the internet.

Talk to your kids, or neices and nephews, doesn't anyone remember being young like that? Like nothing could hurt you, nothing could touch you? Are we really in such a jaded state that no one remembers what it feels like to be young and free, like adults don't understand you? Geez Francis lighten up.

And I guess yo dont remember how we as kids would sneak out of the house at night to do things that you are saying our kids would not do.
You dont remember that we, as teens would disregard what our parents/guardians told us for the simple pleasure of hte moment?
yes some teens are ready for more freedoms than others. BUT YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT CASE BY CASE AND YOU HAVE TO START AT GROUND ZERO.

I'm a mother of two daughters who are on myspace too.. My oldest daughter found the site first, formed a site, and then helped me form one, then the youngest.. As with all options of cyberspace communication, this site has it's pros and cons.. We've invited other friends and family members across the states to join.. It is a great place for all of us to keep up with communicating with each other with writing and pictures.. Some family that we had not been in contact for years, are all now communicating on this MYSPACE.. If you knew more about the site, you'd understand that your niece being 16 yr.s old, legally has no choice but to have it private to the public.. She can reach out for friends, but no one who isn't a friend of hers, cannot see or read any of her pictures, blogs, or her own profile page.. So, unfortunately, you being concerned about who might see her blogs, you may have stepped on her new found freedom, that she is building with her friends.. This is a whole new generation of ""CYBERSPACE TEENAGERS!!"" It is too bad that you got yourself blocked from her site, but, she probally felt that you aren't her mother, and were over-stepping your opinions of her, ""NEW FOUND FRIEND SITE!"" If her mother is worried, she can sit with your niece, and look over her list of friends, and ask her daughter questions.. I guess that is where the trust comes in.. The only people who are friends on her site, and can read her page and blogs, and see her pic.s, are those she personally allows to.. That is one of the good thing about ""MYSPACE,"" is that they do try to protect our underagers!! As in anyway of life, there are rules and regulations on the site.. My oldest daughter first had a youthful approach to her site, filled with lots of single friends and was paticular about whom she allowed as friends.. now, she's in a committed relationship, is a young mother of two, so most of her friends are fellow mothers, co-workers, and personal friends and family.. My youngest daughter is 17 yrs. old. She's a senior in high school, has a youthful site, but her site is private, and if she doesn't know a person who is asking for a friend invite, she doesn't approve it.. I trust her, and she has proved no mis-trusts from me from the site.. I am a friend of hers on her site, (first box!!,) and am also a subscriber to her blog.. not to spy on her, but to read about her feelings and poetry that she posts.. I do not have her password, and don't want it.. I try to stay out of her business as she asks of me.. Like you said, that your niece is new to myspace.. As she matures, so will her site.. You know that you can send her messages even if you're not a friend.. If I was you, I'd step back, and let her discover herself, learn about other friends away from ruling parents, and she will be okay.. Now, if she starts getting phone calls, and starts sneaking out to meet others without telling, than maybe her mother needs to be more involved with the ""MYSPACE SITE."" As with anything that involves out children, the parents should be monitoring your nieces activities, but, MYSPACE is a safe site.. Only those you allow into your world (site,) can be into your business.. I say, let the child be a teenager, and let her mother be her mother.. If the only reason you're her friend is to spy on her, shame on you... You're missing out on a great way to communicate and be apart of your niece's life.. Try to approach this problem as of maybe you're feeling that since you can't control your niece's activies on this site, you're not in approval of her having it... I don't know Kat, like I said, ""HER SITE IS PRIVATE TO THE PUBLIC, AND ONLY THOSE SHE CHOOSES AS FRIENDS CAN BE ALLOWED TO SEE ANYTHING OTHER THAN HER PROFILE PICTURE!!"" Both of my girls have never had any negative happen to them from having a site on myspace.. Just let your niece be ""16!!"" Good luck, and I hope that your mistrust doesn't interfere with you and your niece's relationship..

guys the problem has been solved.trust is one thing but parents should monitor just who their kid is talking too.a 12 yr old has no buisness on myspace.period.

no hun that's not true. It is perfectly fine for a twelve year old to have an account on myspace. As was stated before, it may be the only way to stay in touch with certain family members; and why pay hundreds of dollars for your child to have their own web page to do this, when it can be done for free?

Both of my kids may very well have to resort to something like this in order to remain in contact with their mother. However, I can tell you I will be having absolute freedom of the pages and content, and i will have final say on what is and is not allowed to be in there. They also will NOT be allowed to access it without my being right there with them. They are only 7 and 5 at this point, but even when they hit twelve years of age, they will still be heavily supervised, as the internet offers just way too much freedom and problems if not treated responsibly.

Good luck with that.

Why good luck? yuo raise your child properly and respectfully, they will understand that if you step in, it is because you are concerned for the welfare and well-being. they will have no problems sharing information with you (and dont give me any of the clap about teens being secretive by nature; they are made that way by parents not being respectful), and they will know that the internet is not a private area, ever. ANYONE can access a webpage no matter who they are if they are diligent enough.

You can keep control and censureship while still remaining respectful of your child. Respect does not mean ignorance (ignorance is defined by the act of literally not knowing about a specific topic).

Good luck with that. I take it you don't work outside the home, you don't sleep, you don't go out of the house even to the grocery store, I assume also that your kids are not allowed to go to the library by themselves, or to other friends houses? Well they should be pretty normal kids then.