I've been seeing a girl for a month, she is going to school for her masters, she's taking 6 classes and she works 3 overnights a week. We only see each other about 3 hours a week, usually Sunday evenings before she goes to work. I realize she is busy, but I want to spend a little more time with her. I emailed her this morning telling her that I like her a lot and would like to spend more time than we do together. I'm not asking for a ton of time with her. She emailed me back saying that she definitely wants to spend more time with me, she just doesn't know if she has much more to offer. She said how she is stressed out because everything she does is getting cut so close. She apologized for not spending more time with me, and said she probably shouldn't be dating anyone right now because she is so busy and it really isn't fair, but she likes me and enjoys spending time with me. I'm just trying to communicate to her what I was hoping for, only asking for maybe 2 or 3 hours more time with her a week, even if I am with her while she is doing homework, I don't really care.

been in that boat - double edged sword

u just want to be in her presence (very admirable) but you may be distracting her from her studies...

if she means that much to you, keep the 3 hrs you are presently spending w/each other. dont exceed - or she'll feel like she has to choose... good luck

Well I would say tell her that specifically..that you'd be fine just hanging while she did schoolwork. She may think you mean something more substantial.
Maybe she'll be ok with that, maybe not, but at least you'll be on the same page.

Good luck!

I want to spend more time with you

College/university is very stressful and depending on the course load she may really have no time for you. I know I didnt have any free time with 8 hours of studying per night....so good luck!

It really does sound like you two care for each other. I personally don't think you messed up at all; you can't mess up by communicating considerately and respectfully. :)

It was important for you to say what you did-- for both of your benefits. Your benefit would be obvious; her benefit is that you showed her your heart, that you enjoy her company and desire to grow closer. I'll bet that touched her!

Her heart seems to be in harmony with yours, going by what you've said. She'll give all she can-- and more. If she understands that you aren't asking to go out or to be active somehow that she'd have to set time aside for, but that you would be very content to simply have her presence (such as being near her while she does homework), I believe that would touch her as well. She also would feel a little bad doing homework with you there instead of giving you as much attention as she'd like, but if you express that you're just happy to be close-by and consistently repeat the action to reinforce your words, she'll accept that and relax with some time. :)

So, in short-- communicate and show her your heart! I think it's very sweet that you're content to be near her and don't need to be entertained. That shows great connectivity and selflessness! :)

Best wishes,

jess

Not sure I agree - I would feel smothered if the person I was dating, knowing my work/school schedule still wanted to be around me knowing I would not pay attention to them.

I would find it cute/high schoolish but also distracting, I like to study in complete quiet and solitude.. but that's just me. Why not find something else to do to occupy your time while I study?

jmo

Dude, she won't always be this busy. Tell her you like her a lot and if that's all the time you can spend together right now, that's okay. You didn't mess up, but if you don't give her a little space, you will mess up. Good Luck!

Don't you hate how life can get in the way of things? I mean...stupid life. Lol! But, that is how it is at times. Let me break it down.

First of all, she was busy with her life before you entered the picture. I am sure you were well aware of her hectic schedule and all when you started to date her. It is obvious she does like you cause she decided to date you..even with all the things she has going on. Thing is, trying to find a balance with this is a hard thing to do. When I look at her saying she probably shouldn't be dating anyone right now, I can see her point and do agree with her. But at the same time, I understand and see that all you want is just a little more time with her.

Here is the reality. I'm not gonna say that you make the most of this, or if you two want to date, you will find a way. It is obvious she is overwhelmed right now, and while she likes you, you are not at the forefront on her things to do list. This is truth man. I really do feel she means it in that she likes you. I just believe she is about to choose whether or not it is fair to you or her to date each other. I can see her side and yours. Maybe if things were different, it would work man. In fact, I am sure they would. But right now, with her life dedicated to school and working....dating is taking a back seat bro. That is the reality.

In all honesty, if you stay with her, I really think it will end badly for you two. She feels guilty about not seeing you and dating you, knowing that you want a little more time with her. I don't feel you messed up man in asking for a little more time. I feel she was already thinking about how she shouldn't date. Maybe, if when she is done with school and you two are still single, you guys can get together. But right now, I think this is just not a healthy relationship bro.

I am the same way, I need it quiet and to be alone when I do homework as well, but she told me that she likes to have noise when she is studying and doing homework. She likes the distractions.

well, she just instant messaged me, and I apologized if I may have upset her about the whole thing. She said she is not upset, she said that you were expressing your thoughts and that wouldn't upset me. I am overwhelmed but you should still be able to talk to me about what's on your mind and not worry about me getting upset.

there!!! all better!!!

yeah, I worry way too much.

Ya you do!!!

Be patient. Good things come to those who wait. Don't force her to choose or you're gonna lose.'Cause if she chose you, she may resent you later anyway...
If she's that important to you, be proud of what she's doing for herself.

I am proud of her, and she knows i am

steven put your i/m on

isn't it already on?

no, ive just tried to i/m you. try to i/m me