100% FREE ONLINE DATING
sponsored links
Previous
| Topic: I must resist the urge to run away!! | |
|---|---|
|
|
|
So, I started talking to this guy a while ago. I really enjoyed talking to him, and we talked for hours on end almost every night. And then, it became pretty obvious that he liked me too, and I totally shut down, and withdrew and put up a huge brick wall. It isn't the first time. I do like him, but now maybe it's too late! I emailed him but he hasn't replied. And I've recently met a guy who I seem to get along with really well, and I don't want the same thing to keep happening. Any suggestions?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Not sure. Why are you afraid to let people get close to you?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
So, I started talking to this guy a while ago. I really enjoyed talking to him, and we talked for hours on end almost every night. And then, it became pretty obvious that he liked me too, and I totally shut down, and withdrew and put up a huge brick wall. It isn't the first time. I do like him, but now maybe it's too late! I emailed him but he hasn't replied. And I've recently met a guy who I seem to get along with really well, and I don't want the same thing to keep happening. Any suggestions?  YOUR TALKING ABOUT ME ARNT YOU ??
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
So, I started talking to this guy a while ago. I really enjoyed talking to him, and we talked for hours on end almost every night. And then, it became pretty obvious that he liked me too, and I totally shut down, and withdrew and put up a huge brick wall. It isn't the first time. I do like him, but now maybe it's too late! I emailed him but he hasn't replied. And I've recently met a guy who I seem to get along with really well, and I don't want the same thing to keep happening. Any suggestions? I have the same problem, whenever I notice that someone likes me and I like them, I run away. I don't know what that's about. 
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I tend to keep people an arm's length away too. It's not really healthy, and I think it's related to social anxiety. If you can change it, more power to you. I'm working on it myself at the moment.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ahh don't want to get hurt again!! I hear ya, got to take a chance sometime..
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
warn the guy. tell him that you may try and run away, but not to let you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
oh come on .. if you run away it is something to do with you being afraid .. afraid of putting yourself out there and getting hurt .. so you leave versus being left ''' come on think about it .. why are you self sabotaging? simple you haven't convinced yourself that you deserve to be happy
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Admittedly, I have had some crappy relationships, and no, I don't want to be hurt again. I think I've addressed most of the self-esteem issues. I think what I really need are some good cognitive-behavioral techniques to get myself over this anxiety! But it's hard to do that with relationships without making people feel like they're being used...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
well so you want to continue with self defeating behavior?? Are you addicted to unhappiness?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I wouldn't describe myself as an unhappy person, first of all. Secondly, while I definitely have some avoidant behaviors, they're not self-defeating.. And the whole point of my posting was to see if other people have had similar experiences and have things they tried to get over it.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
well then you must retrain your thinking patterns .. but I think a good start would be some self exploration true in depth soul searching .. once you find the root of the problem it will be much easier to deal with
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
well then you must retrain your thinking patterns .. but I think a good start would be some self exploration true in depth soul searching .. once you find the root of the problem it will be much easier to deal with
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Someone suggested that I warn him, is that wise? Or does it say, "I could have baggage - RUN!"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I say that honesty is the best policy and you could even say I don'at want to do this to you so you need to call me on it if I do
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Someone suggested that I warn him, is that wise? Or does it say, "I could have baggage - RUN!" If a person truly cares they will have patience and understanding. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think I really am ready to have some normal kind of relationship, I just don't know how to not screw it up. But then it's hard to know if I screwed something up or if it wasn't meant to be...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think I really am ready to have some normal kind of relationship, I just don't know how to not screw it up. But then it's hard to know if I screwed something up or if it wasn't meant to be... First thing, quit thinking too much. I bet you suffer from "mind chatter"... |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
First off Don't warn him. Unless you want to see him running away like you have a bomb.
Second, Don't start pushing people away because you don't want to get hurt. You do it long enough you'll look up and relize its too late because your working too much, have lost how to communicate with people other than for work, or you've gotten too old, or what ever the reasons maybe. Trust me on that one. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
I think I really am ready to have some normal kind of relationship, I just don't know how to not screw it up. But then it's hard to know if I screwed something up or if it wasn't meant to be... First thing, quit thinking too much. I bet you suffer from "mind chatter"... Oh, I absolutely do. |
|
|
|
|
