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| Topic: Pick up lines.... | |
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"No, that bulge is not me. Its my wallet"
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wanna know why cucumbers are better than men ?
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Get off me dad your smashing my smokes haha, wtg! it's monday, we understand 
Ok even on a monday you can't be cranky after a long thread like this filled with terrible (read: hilarious) pickup lines! 
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I've lost my number. Can I have yours?
I have actually seen that one work. There was alcohol though. Lots of the blessed alcohol..... |
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Get off me dad your smashing my smokes haha, wtg! it's monday, we understand
Ok even on a monday you can't be cranky after a long thread like this filled with terrible (read: hilarious) pickup lines!
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I like to say screwed up stuff like:
"I put the sensual back into nonconsensual." "I take the 'the' out of psychotherapist." "I like my women how I like my coffee: Ground up and in the freezer." That usually makes the annoying ones leave me alone. |
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I am a small business owner and it's tax time nuff said lol Eesh. You win. |
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" You don't have to be alone anymore"!
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wow how much have I had to drink
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Do you know the difference between pizza and sex? Her no...
Great than want to go upstairs for a pizza? 
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Do you know the difference between pizza and sex? Her no... Great than want to go upstairs for a pizza?
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Guy...............Did it hurt?
Girl..............Did what hurt? Guy ..............Whan you fell from Heaven? Yea lame I know. 
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Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
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are you ready for the most orgasmic unrepeatable night of sex in your life? no? well would you mind laying down so i could have one?
fuc* me if i'm wrong. but you wanna blow me dont you? fuc* me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name tom? do you know what the difference between a big mac and a blo job is? no? wanna have lunch sometime? |
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That shirt is very becoming on you..im sure if I was on you I'd be coming too. thats my favorite one!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 |
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HEllo Im Death's Treaty,
I like blades and sharp things, How about you? |
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are you free tonight or will it cost me?
you might as well have sex with me, i am going to tell everyone we did anyway wanna play vacation? your right leg is christmas, your left leg is new years, and i will come visit you between the holidays a womans legs are best of friends, but someday even the best of friends must part the word for today is legs.....would you like to help me spread the word? lets play m and m's i will meltin your mouth and not in your hand... I know i can't have your cherry, but can i have the box it came in? |
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Those are really good ones Big John. I need to take notes. LOL
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are you ready for the most orgasmic unrepeatable night of sex in your life? no? well would you mind laying down so i could have one? fuc* me if i'm wrong. but you wanna blow me dont you? fuc* me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name tom? do you know what the difference between a big mac and a blo job is? no? wanna have lunch sometime? |
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There's the old northern English classic ;
"Hey you don't sweat much for a fat lass." |
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