Community > Jokes & Funny Stories

Topic: Pick up lines....
kittylickingisfun Joined Thu 01/03/08 Posts: 108	Mon 02/04/08 11:24 AM
"No, that bulge is not me. Its my wallet"

shoes4rhon Joined Sat 02/02/08 Posts: 3411	Mon 02/04/08 11:25 AM
wanna know why cucumbers are better than men ?

soxfan94 Joined Mon 05/28/07 Posts: 3384	Mon 02/04/08 11:26 AM
Get off me dad your smashing my smokes sorry wrong thread I am an idiot today lol haha, wtg! it's monday, we understand thanks sox and I am cranky to boot Ok even on a monday you can't be cranky after a long thread like this filled with terrible (read: hilarious) pickup lines!

Big_Jim Joined Tue 01/15/08 Posts: 373	Mon 02/04/08 11:27 AM
I've lost my number. Can I have yours? I have actually seen that one work. There was alcohol though. Lots of the blessed alcohol.....

shoes4rhon Joined Sat 02/02/08 Posts: 3411	Mon 02/04/08 11:29 AM
Get off me dad your smashing my smokes sorry wrong thread I am an idiot today lol haha, wtg! it's monday, we understand thanks sox and I am cranky to boot Ok even on a monday you can't be cranky after a long thread like this filled with terrible (read: hilarious) pickup lines! I am a small business owner and it's tax time nuff said lol

Big_Jim Joined Tue 01/15/08 Posts: 373	Mon 02/04/08 11:31 AM
I like to say screwed up stuff like: "I put the sensual back into nonconsensual." "I take the 'the' out of psychotherapist." "I like my women how I like my coffee: Ground up and in the freezer." That usually makes the annoying ones leave me alone.

soxfan94 Joined Mon 05/28/07 Posts: 3384	Mon 02/04/08 11:31 AM
I am a small business owner and it's tax time nuff said lol Eesh. You win.

plp Joined Mon 05/07/07 Posts: 589	Mon 02/04/08 11:51 AM
" You don't have to be alone anymore"!

shoes4rhon Joined Sat 02/02/08 Posts: 3411	Mon 02/04/08 12:01 PM
wow how much have I had to drink

isaac_dede Joined Sat 11/24/07 Posts: 10632	Mon 02/04/08 12:32 PM
Do you know the difference between pizza and sex? Her no... Great than want to go upstairs for a pizza?

jtitol Joined Sun 01/13/08 Posts: 5396	Mon 02/04/08 12:36 PM
Do you know the difference between pizza and sex? Her no... Great than want to go upstairs for a pizza?

TristanBru Joined Thu 12/27/07 Posts: 494	Mon 02/04/08 12:45 PM
Guy...............Did it hurt? Girl..............Did what hurt? Guy ..............Whan you fell from Heaven? Yea lame I know.

Mundote Joined Thu 07/05/07 Posts: 327	Mon 02/04/08 01:26 PM
Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?

bigjohn525 Joined Thu 01/10/08 Posts: 29	Mon 02/04/08 01:48 PM
are you ready for the most orgasmic unrepeatable night of sex in your life? no? well would you mind laying down so i could have one? fuc* me if i'm wrong. but you wanna blow me dont you? fuc* me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name tom? do you know what the difference between a big mac and a blo job is? no? wanna have lunch sometime?

Sharon31216 Joined Fri 01/18/08 Posts: 748	Mon 02/04/08 01:57 PM
That shirt is very becoming on you..im sure if I was on you I'd be coming too. thats my favorite one!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

DeathsTreaty Joined Wed 01/09/08 Posts: 14622	Mon 02/04/08 02:01 PM
HEllo Im Death's Treaty, I like blades and sharp things, How about you?

bigjohn525 Joined Thu 01/10/08 Posts: 29	Mon 02/04/08 02:05 PM
are you free tonight or will it cost me? you might as well have sex with me, i am going to tell everyone we did anyway wanna play vacation? your right leg is christmas, your left leg is new years, and i will come visit you between the holidays a womans legs are best of friends, but someday even the best of friends must part the word for today is legs.....would you like to help me spread the word? lets play m and m's i will meltin your mouth and not in your hand... I know i can't have your cherry, but can i have the box it came in?

Mundote Joined Thu 07/05/07 Posts: 327	Mon 02/04/08 02:07 PM
Those are really good ones Big John. I need to take notes. LOL

shoes4rhon Joined Sat 02/02/08 Posts: 3411	Mon 02/04/08 02:29 PM
are you ready for the most orgasmic unrepeatable night of sex in your life? no? well would you mind laying down so i could have one? fuc* me if i'm wrong. but you wanna blow me dont you? fuc* me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name tom? do you know what the difference between a big mac and a blo job is? no? wanna have lunch sometime? those are cracking me up lol I have heard those

GuideHenri Joined Sun 02/03/08 Posts: 632	Tue 02/05/08 04:44 AM
There's the old northern English classic ; "Hey you don't sweat much for a fat lass."