Im a college student, living on the campus.
Its a party-hard, booze-life style.

I HATE going to parties and social events alike because I ALWAYS get this conversation:

X ="Get yourself a drink./Why arent you drinking?/let me get you a drink."

me ="no thanks, really."

X ="why not?"

me ="I dont drink anymore"

X ="why not?/how come?"

me ="long story" - and it is.

then I get the facial expression that either says "wuss" or the expression that is as if I said something condescending or uppity.
or I get the subtle "probably cant handle it" / "yeah. SURE. long story. Riiiiight."

This happens OVER and OVER.
even within the same party/gathering.

it makes me an outsider and I get excluded and then when I say NO to a invitation because of being an outsider I get judged AGAIN as if Im being anti-social or "on my high horse"

I take a lot of care to make sure that my tone, facial expressiona dn body language isnt something that can mislead someone to come to these conclusions, yet still.

how can I say "I dont drink" in a way that leaves the person with a positive impression? WITHOUT LYING.

The long story short of why I dont is because I dont like the affects of alcohol (mentally). - this is judged as being wussy (its normally other guys that start this whole conversation)

If I say that I dont drink because its counter productive to my diet (trying to gain somme muscle) - this is judged as if Im saying "alcohol is unhealthy for you."....condescending and a 'party-pooper'.

If I just say "religious beliefs"...it makes me look like im on my 'high-horse.' as if not drinking because of religious reasons automatically makes me 'better' or 'more holy' or whatever BS.

Stay strong to your convictions, be your own person....if you don't want to drink, it's nobodies business but yours

Just tell them you are the DD

Sounds to me like you hang with the wrong crowd. Why would you even want to spend time with peple that are going to put you down because of who you are?

Then again...I think you may be exaggerating

Thats a good thing to say!

Good for you! Be proud!

just say that you had something bad happen to a friend when they were drinking.

Just tell them, "Someone needs to stay sober, or who would there be to laugh at all you drunks".

i dont and cant drink so i dont party much, but when i do its with my friends that understand what ive been through so they usually dont drink too. i stopped comin to the parties because of it but i wont go unless i knoe someone that wont drink is gonna be there too.

Good for you!!! stay strong and stick to your convictions!!!

however- if someone gives you a hard time about drinking just tell them that the next time you get caught drinking- you are going to get kicked outta school and are going to jail- cuz it wouldn't be the first time- mess with 'em!!

Just trying to help

I really think it is great that you don't consume!!!

just say you don't feel like drinking or that you have to study for a test/have an early class and don't wanna be hung over. or if ppl are going to judge you just for not drinking then those ppl really aren't your friends. I think you should find yourself some new friends if your current ones are treating you like this. true friends don't judge or give you **** b/c you won't have a drink or two. hope everything works out for you

Linz

Another thing to do is to mix a tonic water and lime and say you're drinking and beer makes you sick. (in case it's a keg party which most college functions are) Start laughing uncontrollably every now and then when people say you're not drinking. Say "are you crazy, I just drank half a fifth of rum before I got here. Hold on, I think I'm going to throw up, I'll be back." They will likely think you're a party animal and hopefully leave you alone. Besides when your real friends pan out, they will be over giving you a hard time and realize you're the driver. Start charging them especially if it's strangers. They'd likely be happy to or make them buy you burgers.

Tell them you're both the DD AND the person delegated to deal with the police when they show up

I drink, but always in moderation. I've actually gotten into loud arguments with one of my mates for refusing a third beer. Here's my assessment of the matter. No matter what your reason for not drinking, if the people around you are drinking for any of the wrong reasons, then your refusal is going to make them feel insecure. I wouldn't go so far as to say that you're hanging with the wrong crowd. College, by and large, is a very insecure place full of people who want to pretend that they have their ****e together. In the long run, it will be better for you AND for the people for whom you are modeling a healthier decision-making model if you hold to your convictions.

If you want to forestall some of the random offers to get you a drink, get a glass of soda as soon as you arrive and just nurse that. You might still get a few people offering to top you off with a shot of Captain Morgan, but people who are just trying to be hospitable won't approach you as much.

I like the stand by your convictions (sorry I forgot who posted that) and the other one of maybe you're hanging around with the wrong crowd, because I'm wondering why you would want to be around people always getting sloshed, or those who think it's some type of status symbol.

I don't think you need to explain yourself at all. Just say, no thank you, I don't drink. If you're asked why, just say that you don't. They can take it or leave it.

no these people arent my friends, they are acquaintances; classmates etc.
some of my classmates I can say are friends but they have kind-of accepted my stance even though every know and then they try to encourage me to drink- you can tell that they feel uneasy about my stance because they know its right (they're muslim lol- not alcohol is a big-no-no yet Im protestant - which it is only 'illegal' to be drunk but not to drink.

I really don't think there is a way to say it so that people will understand without taking offense. Drinkers don't want to deal with the realities of the consequences of their drinking. I figure that's their problem.

I quit all drugs and alcohol at 22, and I will never touch either again. I don't date people who use alcohol or drugs, and I don't go to bars.

People who know me, know my position on this; and if it's someone who doesn't know me, and the subject comes up, I tell them to do some research on what alcohol does to brain cells. I've seen it happen to enough people in my life -- I've lost more than a few to alcohol, and I'm not about to let that happen again.

More than once, I have explained to people that I have no interest in dealing with anyone who is intent upon killing himself/herself -- "Do what you want, but don't do it around me."

And more than once, I have said, "If you're that determined to kill yourself, a gun is a lot faster."

It's harsh; it pisses people off. But that's OK -- maybe someday one or two of them will come out of their drunken stupors long enough to really think about what they're doing to themselves.

If not -- well, it's no skin off my nose. I don't want to have anything to do with those people anyway.

I know what you mean. I'm not much of a drinker myself, and am usually the DD. Telling them that I'm the DD usually works for me, and sometimes I just flat out tell them that I'm not drinking tonight. They might bug you for a while, but eventually they'll just accept it. Especially if you let yourself relax and have a good time. If you're all having fun, no one will care whether or not your drinking.

Good on you for standing up for yourself!

Well i'm glad to hear i'm not the only one that chooses not to drink! All i can say is don't worry about how they look at you when you say you don't drink. I've experienced this myself, during the holidays i'm constantly telling my family i'm not interested in bottle...besides there always needs to be a designated driver!

Babe stand up for what you believe. I'm a recovered alcoholic and sober 15-1/2 yrs. As for some of these acquaintances -- who cares what they think. There's only one you and if anything were to happen to you because of peer pressure and drinking many people would miss you. Stay strong and the best to you.

and



good stuff guys, I sometimes feel like saying straight away if they insist "Im a recovering alcoholic." kills the conversation quick and makes the feel like they've just kicked someone when they were down.