and



good stuff guys, I sometimes feel like saying straight away if they insist "Im a recovering alcoholic." kills the conversation quick and makes the feel like they've just kicked someone when they were down.

no these people arent my friends, they are acquaintances; classmates etc.
some of my classmates I can say are friends but they have kind-of accepted my stance even though every know and then they try to encourage me to drink- you can tell that they feel uneasy about my stance because they know its right (they're muslim lol- not alcohol is a big-no-no yet Im protestant - which it is only 'illegal' to be drunk but not to drink.

Im a college student, living on the campus.
Its a party-hard, booze-life style.

I HATE going to parties and social events alike because I ALWAYS get this conversation:

X ="Get yourself a drink./Why arent you drinking?/let me get you a drink."

me ="no thanks, really."

X ="why not?"

me ="I dont drink anymore"

X ="why not?/how come?"

me ="long story" - and it is.

then I get the facial expression that either says "wuss" or the expression that is as if I said something condescending or uppity.
or I get the subtle "probably cant handle it" / "yeah. SURE. long story. Riiiiight."

This happens OVER and OVER.
even within the same party/gathering.

it makes me an outsider and I get excluded and then when I say NO to a invitation because of being an outsider I get judged AGAIN as if Im being anti-social or "on my high horse"

I take a lot of care to make sure that my tone, facial expressiona dn body language isnt something that can mislead someone to come to these conclusions, yet still.

how can I say "I dont drink" in a way that leaves the person with a positive impression? WITHOUT LYING.

The long story short of why I dont is because I dont like the affects of alcohol (mentally). - this is judged as being wussy (its normally other guys that start this whole conversation)

If I say that I dont drink because its counter productive to my diet (trying to gain somme muscle) - this is judged as if Im saying "alcohol is unhealthy for you."....condescending and a 'party-pooper'.

If I just say "religious beliefs"...it makes me look like im on my 'high-horse.' as if not drinking because of religious reasons automatically makes me 'better' or 'more holy' or whatever BS.

When doing a search, I've noticed that in the gallery/results window (before clicking a profile) the "online now" in red may be present but when you actually check the profile the "online now" message next to the persons location is not on; indicating that (I think) when someone logs out, its updated for the profile but not on the outside/brief view ie: gallery view...it has to time out before actually being insync.

Yea I guess its a fish-till-blocked game.

people associate certain images with weed smokers, different to that of a ciggi smoker or a drinker.
weed has a more negative frame.

Thanks rara

no no, Im not saying that if you're browzing, and you look at someones profile you MUST email them! lol. Im talking about them looking at your profle after reading the message you sent...
I've browzed SO much with out emailing, If something sparks interest I email..then I go through this stupid fishing until blocked game.
fun fun fun!

LOL yea a block is a fair hint!

The approach I take to it is keep emailing until I get a response, even if its a "DONT YOU GET IT!?? **** OFF!"
but hey, if I go fishing and I can see the fish from the warf, but they arent biting, Im gona keep fishing there until one of those fish jump up and tell me to Get Lost!

only way to know for SURE.

Yes of course, we all live in a nano-second culture, I dont expect ASAP RESPONSE after opening my mail lol, I guess maybe theres also the possibility that she put off answering because she wants time to think HOW to respond. But does that REALLY take DAYS?

Thanks MsTeddybear, its good to hear that there are straight forward people here. I always reply, straight forward, since it is unfair to leave someone in the state of:

"...does that mean she's not interested?...or...is does she want me to chase for a bit??"

Hi everyone,

I'm not new to this dating thing, but I've just signed up here and I'm not sure whether I'm going to do my profile fully yet, prob look around 1st.
This seems to have A LOT of forum members so i figured why not ask here.
but I have a question for the ladies insight:

I know some women like to play hard to get, but how can a guy tell if she IS playing hard to get?
I could send a message, that she reads, doesn't reply back, and doesn't look at my profile - there have been some times where I persisted and she came around SO and I right to say:

Just because a woman opens a guys message, without looking at his profile (or even if she does look) and no message back either way; does NOT mean necessarily mean that she is NOT interested?

Do women do this often?
Or is it just a NOT INTERESTED response? To me I think this is insanity unless she says that no response=no interest, but men know about the whole challenge thing but we're kinda high and dry in these scenarios.

How many women are straight forward with a reply of "Sorry, not interested."??
Im sure that most men would appreciate that better than a blank stare!