OK, I'm bored and waiting on some computer things to finish.

But was just thinking how I have seen so many people refer to a "relationship" as being "a lot of work" or "you have to work at it".

Honestly I have never found that to be much of an issue. Even when I was married..I could never consider it being "work" or having to "work at it".

Maybe it's me??? Am I too easygoing?

With the woman who I have been talking with now. It's AMAZING how we have so many things in common, and I'm talking about not just the "general" things either..some really rare and unique things. So far things are just falling into place naturally. No stresses, no trying to make the other person like you for who you are, not trying to hide who you are, etc, etc. My kind of way for things to happen.

So I thought I would post this thread...what do you think? A relationship should be "work"? Or maybe I'm just lazy in that department...I like it simple, natural and not having to "work" at such a thing. I think of it as "fun".

A relationship should be fun; but there are "some" things that take a little work; and if both of you are willing than it doesn't seem like "work" -- it seems natural and right.

Well it is fun but it also takes work, like remembering the little things that make her happy but mean nothing to us hahaha
Yes it takes work

Well that's what I mean. to me, it seems "natural and right"..it just "flows along".

That's why I ask..how and why would it seem like "work"? I understand compromise at times and sometimes even sacrafice, but if its done out of love and caring...where's the "work"?

Well in my opinion, getting to know someone is easy and natural and it is easy to connect with someone if you are honest about who you are. Now comes the hard part, staying connected, even when things mature and change, like loss of a job, illness or what ever. Thats where the work comes in.

Maybe my definition of "work" is different. To me, work is something you "have" to do even when you don't want to. Maybe that's where I am missing the "translation" in my mind. I think the broad definition of "work" is just having to do something, whether it's out of obligation or not.

I found out a long time ago.. "WORK is the NASTIEST four letter word in the English language!"

To some people , compromise and sacrifice is very hard work.

I couldn't agree more! If it feels like work ... it's work! If it feels like love it's not work ... at least in my world.

It's work because a succsesful relationship is all about compromise. How many of us guys have been forced to watch Days Of Our Lives or the lifetime channel? How about the ladies with sports and such? I know, some of both examples actualy like the examples given, but I'm sure the picture is clear. A relationship without effort & compromise is a doomed relationship, hence some work is a given;^]

I can see that. Unfortunately many people do "grow apart". But I have seen the right one actually "grow together" and it happened naturally. My dear close friend of about 23 years just celebrated her 9th anniversary. She told me its "only getting better". Even the "small things", without having to say anything. Like on her anniversary card, he husband use to write "Love Rod"..but this year he wrote "I love you Laura". Now that is TOO COOL!

So I would have to guess how much "work" it may take is by how well we choose in the first place????

Okay...? I don't know if you divorced or what. But a relationship does take work...because what is work but effort exerted and every good relationship need to have effort from both parties. Every relationship has issues somewhere down the line and you have to work on those issues right? So that's why there it everyone says it's work. Because if relationships just flowed that naturally there wouldn't be any need for these sights.

LOL Turtle

Bro, if I had to choose between biting a bullet and watching Days of Our Lives..just hand me the GUN!

I think is more about choosing the right person to start with, and what you as a person consider "work".

And yes i agree, have seen it both ways as well.

I agree..again, "definition" I think is the main key. Depends on a person's definition of what they consider work.

As you state, effort exerting. I can do that hiking or rafting or working out at the gym...I sure don;t consider that "work".

When I say work/earn the relationship; I am referring to the fact that anything good takes diligent effort. Becoming a couple is one of the biggest challenges life can throw at us.
If we do not keep the goal in sight & constantly strive for the stars, we may find ourselves in the deepest darkest hole, we have ever seen. Only constant vigilance for eachothers feelings & a constant desire for the happiness of both people, can help achieve the ultimate goal of soulmates.

I have been on both sides of this matter & only desire to share what I learned, "THE HARD WAY."

lol.. that and Charmed, that was almost the broken straw with my last g/f..lol.

Seriously though, the other person can be as perfect as possible but you'll still have differant tastes and beliefs and lifestyle in some areas. I think if there's no work there's no reward, just my humble;^]

I dont think that any 2 people are going to agree on everything.......can you live with the fact that I left the cheese knife out???? Do you mind if I let the cat sleep on the kitchen table???

I mean......he does it anyways when Im not home...... and since I dont eat there.....

Again, I do agree. I just don;t term it as "work" in my definition of the word. "Compromise" sure, everything is not going to be identicle.

Plus for those "Days of Our Lives" moments..well first I would NEVER date a woman who was into "soap opras", thats a clear indicatior to me she is into "drama" and thats something I won't have in my life.

And other things, well thats what your personal time is for.

I think too many people think that just because they are a "couple" they wind up forgetting they are still individuals as well. But that could be a whole new thread.

If it don't come easy, ya better let it go...cause if it don't come easy there ain't no natural flow...I heard that in a country song once...think its absolutely true.........

Any ladies brave enough to date me know about work..lol;^]