I've decided to let Roosje go to another home.
She's now 3,5 months so still a kitten which makes it easier to find another good home for her as most prefer a young cat/kitten.

I'm heartbroken, totally upset, as I love her to bits. She's the best cat you could wish to have. Totally adorable, loves to cuddle, purrs as soon as she sees me, quite obedient even when it comes to the crunch, highly attached to me, very enthusiastic and happy. She sometimes literally bounces up and down and seems to be able to jump up in the air a bit with all paws off the floor when she's happy, so cute!!
The ideal kitten.
But... it's not working out with my other cat. I've noticed Nila is becoming increasingly reluctant to come indoors, both for food and at night to sleep, and also in between during the day. As soon as she comes in she gets tackled by Roosje who jumps right on top of her and then chases after her.
Nila doesn't even attempt to be the dominant one anymore, she runs away, trying to get away from her.

I've had to let go of one cat years ago because of another younger one. He simply didn't come home at all anymore, not even when it was -12C. It was a very cold winter and he lived outdoors at a then empty campsite on the other side of the village. He caught rabbits to eat.
I feared he'd die, freeze to death, at some point. The campsite owner had helped me bring him back home 2x. I then kept him indoors for a bit but as soon as I let him go out he made a beeline for the campsite.

I don't want it to go that way with my Nila!
I've talked to a number of people about it today and they too had a similar thing with 2 cats. One said, it's okay if it's difficult at first but it should improve at least a bit.
With Nila and Roosje it hasn't improved but gotten worse since Nila seems to be afraid of Roosje and reluctant to come back home. So it's not getting any better, not even staying the same, it's going downhill.

I've asked the vet the other day and she said it's wait and see. Roosje is a kitten AND a calico so yeah, way more fiery than another kitten. I asked if Feliway could help. She said only 5% at best. And it wouldn't change Roosje, make her more docile as she's not doing anything wrong or weird. She's just a kitten, and a calico one at that.
It could only help Nila, maybe, and only a wee bit.
Personally I doubt it'd help much. It's like giving a mild tranquiliser but if you still get constantly harassed it won't do much.
As it is I keep them separate as much as possible which is easy now since it's still summer and Nila is outdoors most of the time. But it won't stay like with winter coming...

I'd put an ad online for Roosje yesterday and someone reacted to it. I was immediately upset, in tears, not knowing what to do.
But it's the best for the cats. Winter is coming, meaning Nila will (normally) be indoors most of the day. That'd mean I'd have to keep Roosje in a separate room all by herself.
She deserves better. No sweet cute lovable pet should have to live like that, all alone in some room. I want the best for her, she deserves it, even though it's going to break my heart as I'm nuts about her.

I'm nuts about both my cats but they don't work together...
They cannot choose so I have to do what's best for them. Keeping both because I'd like that would be utterly selfish and not in the best interest of my cats.
That's one rule I've always had with any of my pets: THEIR interest and well-being has priority over mine since they cannot choose.
But it breaks my heart nonetheless.

It's very sad to read about...

But at least you're thinking of them and not yourself... It's very unselfish...

Not like the people who get pets at Christmas and dump them in January...

Hugzzzz

Awwwwwwwww ;-(

Thank you both.

Thank goodness I still have 1,5 - 2,5 days with her!
It's going to be incredibly tough to let her go.

Maybe you can still visit her once in a blue moon, if who ever takes her lives close by to you?

It's 45kms from me, not very close, but doable. They also said I could so maybe I will do that at some point.

This morning I was about to cancel the whole thing, but gave it another thought, talked to someone about it, and now I'm sticking with the decision. No matter how much it pains me.
It is for the best for both cats.

Hugs to you.

Hugs Crystal. It was tough when I found Chloe a different home. But like you, I had to put her needs first and she wasn't safe with all the renovations that were needed.

I see it as my home being her in between home. I rescued her from being stuck in a cage, and now she has a safe home and is happy.

Thanks all for your sympathy and support!

But...

I almost daren't say it, hihi... I changed my mind and I AM KEEPING ROOSJE!!!

I was still upset about the idea, troubled me when having to fall asleep, dreaming etc. etc.
And the way she's attached to me, I felt sorry for her too.
Talked to my cousin, bit of a cat expert, and she also advised against doing it. Said Roosje could get traumatised by it.

So I cancelled the whole thing and decided to keep her. Might not be the easiest thing, having to keep both cats mostly separate, at least for now while Roosje is a kitten.

Thing that also bothered me, now Roosje is just a kitten, very playful, naughty etc.
But there's no knowing what's she's going to be like in half a year - 1 years time. Nila was pretty much the same when she was 3,5 months old, als li'l Miss Naughty and quite fiery. Now, having turned 2 yrs old in June, she's not like that anymore.
Could be that once Roosje gets to go outside, has been spayed, a wee bit older, she becomes quite okay with Nila.
No way of knowing, it's fortune telling.

In any case, we'll find out!
It felt like a HUGE relief to have made this decision. Even though I thought it'd be best for the cats, it didn't sit well with me at all.

So total change of heart, and yes, I'm happy with it! I'm nuts about her, obviously otherwise I wouldn't have done this, and she's also very attached to me. That just shows in her behaviour, the way she acts and looks at me etc. etc.

I was also thinking back of the moment I first saw her. The second I looked in the large kitten 'container' back then she look up, straight into my eyes. When I picked her up, she rested her head against my face and even the woman was awed by that.
They say pets choose you, not the other way round. And it felt very strongly she had chosen me.
To then let her go...
I began to feel more and more certain it wasn't the right thing.

So she's staying, hihi.

Very cool, Crystal. I hope it all works out well for you, as well as the cats. I'm sure it will.