I'll try to keep this as brief as I can.

I was never really that big into the online dating scene. I'm very old fashioned and just did things the old fashioned way (meeting people in real life.)

Unfortunately, with the way the world has changed in recent years, everyone has become addicted to smart phones and social media, and it seems most women (especially attractive women my age) refuse to date the old fashioned way now and basically expect you to have a smart phone, have social media and be online.

Well, I still don't have a smart phone but I've decided to give this online dating thing a try.

Since I still use a flip phone many modern dating platforms like Tinder are not an option for me, although based on what I've heard from others it doesn't really sound like it would be a good fit since it's used primarily for one night stands and non-committed relationships (I am looking for a real relationship.)

I gave POF a try, it's an old site that I'm at least marginally familiar with but it seems to have devolved into a complete disaster over the years. The response rate from real women for men is almost nonexistent, and most of the accounts on there are fake. The extremely few real women on there who actually do message you or reply to your messages are almost always either there for money, playing weird games or also just looking for casual encounters/one night stands and not interested a real relationship.

Frustrated with POF, I decided to give this site a try and my experience here has not been much different. In the past few days virtually every attractive woman around my age I encountered on this site turned out to be a fake account trying to social engineer me for my personal details like my e-mail address and cell phone number. One of them accused me of being fake after trying to get me to give her my real life cell phone number (I provided a google voice, don't know who in their right mind would give their real cell phone number to a total stranger they just met online 5 minutes ago) and blocked me.

Is this pretty much the state of online dating now? Should I just give up on this? Is there some hidden technique for better results that doesn't involve getting a smart phone and signing up for questionable sites like Tinder?

Just kind of fed up with this and am wondering if I should even bother continuing with these sites or if I should just throw in the towel and settle for being single for a while.

Edit: yeah I think I'm done here. Good luck to anyone still trying this. I'm going back to (attempting) dating in real life the old fashioned way because this online thing is a complete and total disaster. It's not even worth it IMO.

I've given up looking, as about 99% here are fakes or scammers...I just come online to report scammers, and see their latest lines......none are convincing!

When becoming a member of a dating site -any dating site- it doesn't mean you will find your partner there. Maybe your future partner is on another dating site or somewhere in the outside world for you to meet.

Blaming a dating site for your single status is pointless. A dating site is not to blame.
It's important to be proactive yourself and see where you can go about things differently, both on dating sites as in real life.

Do you go to the right places where your potential partner would hang out?
Do you go out at all? If not, chances are vastly reduced of meeting people, incl. your potential partner.
Do you have a good dating site profile? One that is uplifting, shows a positive happy person or not?
Do you have a good photo? As it is you don't have a profile photo at all. Do you think you will get traction with a grey avatar?
You won't get anywhere without...
Also, have another look at your nickname. These are very important as well.

And the biggest one of all concerning dating sites:
Are you on the RIGHT dating site for you?
There are sites for tall, short, fat, higher educated, general, new ones, old ones (that often have gone stale with the same 'assortment'), older people, spiritual, free ones that are flooded by men seeking sex, and so on.

Find the dating site with people that A) resonate with you B) in your area/country.

Usually a paid-for site is best. But without a photo and good profile text you still won't get anywhere. It's up to you, not the dating site.

Online dating is not the best way to meet someone. I still think it's about going out and doing what you do and what you like. You are more likely to find someone who lives near you and compatible.

I finish work for Christmas by Wednesday, then I won't see another human other than my pranks and whowver's manning the self-service checkout for at least 10 days.......
Doubt I'll log in here either.

Old Schooler,

I understand exactly what you're sayin'.
"Online Dating" is not very effective to find 'the one'.
Even dating IRL is difficult nowadays given the 'social norm' of modern society.
Us old-timers hold onto social concepts which have become obsolete.

Thing is, these online dating tools are nothing more than tools. If you use it as a tool, as its intended, it can work but like most tools but some proficiency is expected.

Its important to realize this tool's limitations.
You must understand what it can and can't do.
You need to use it safely and correctly.

One of the common mistakes men make when using online dating is trying to gather as many 'hits' as possible for women who are often 'too good to be true'.

If you are looking for "The One" its best to focus on One at a time. This requires research and dedication, which takes time.

If you follow the pictures to make your decision you will find most pictures do NOT actually represent the person to whom it is associated.

Many profiles are incomplete or filled with contradictions. You need to examine the 'target' before you make contact.

Realize, 9 times of 10 if 'she' contacts you, its gunna be a scam of some sort. Face value real is not very likely when considering the anonymity of an online connection.

Using the online dating tool is mostly eliminating the unworthy. You remove the chaff to find the sweet grain. There's a lot of chaff.

When you finally do find someone who seems real and honest you have to break the online barrier and actually meet. This is way harder than it needs to be. If your perfect match will not meet you in real life, she's NOT your perfect match. You can spend time and energy on trying to convince her to meet you but you are wasting your time.

The whole idea about using online dating is to actually meet someone in real life.
There are many that want to meet someone but are too scared or holding onto previous bad experiences. Some are just playing the games or not really women at all. Some just can't be sure but will never be 'sure' about anyone.

In real-life dating, it happens face to face. Online dating happens face to screen. You can't get to know someone face to screen. No matter how well they present themselves, you will never actually know if they are truthful or lying to you till you are with them, unscripted. You need to see what is not being shown.

well we al have had problem here so i think we getting along better is the best thing to do right

Lol. I just signed up here today. Initial impression - pretty poor. After reading this thread and a couple of others, I’m totally dejected. Just another hopeless dating site.
I tried online dating about 10-12 years ago. (Badoo & POF). Chatted with quite a few women, met about seven or eight. Dated one a few times, and although we never ‘did the deed’ we’ve remained friends ever since & although for the last 5 she’s been living overseas we keep in touch.
Tried both again recently and OMG! They are both awful - and expensive. It seems that 10 years ago women had to be wary of Players, Cheating Husbands & Sex Pests, now it’s men that have to be wary of fakes and scammers. Very few genuine women, and those that are, all look like Trailer Trash Trumpers or are in need of reconstructive surgery. Oh well. Doesn’t look like I’ll be paying the extra to do anything meaningful here….

I just come here for conversations and to mingle every now and then. To get that human connection in. But sadly, I can't be here for long. I read transmigration novels and listen to podcasts, more than doing socials.