We have heard of Tiger Moms -> generally Asian mothers pushing their children to excel in school and to get admission to prestigious colleges; but recently an Australian mom propelled her seven year old daughter to make a compelling presentation in a Ted-X talk show and while this may wet your eyes, I do have a question: Do children, 'once they become celebrities in their tender years; does it not steal the 'care free' that's the essence of childhood years?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aISXCw0Pi94

- 18 minutes.



May be I'm being a misogynist; may be such programs, like art; is right for girls.

People are changing, so are children. Most young children that have come in since approx. 2000 are all Crystal children, and after that Rainbow children.
These children are very different, and often they're born to parents that are also New Age adults so they can cater for these kids in a healthy way.

But to force children to excel, to perform, to get high grades, to get a diploma or else... all that blabla is very unhealthy for a child's health. It puts way too much emphasis on the mental, the masculine energy of status, performing, obeying too, and it lacks the development of intuition, sensitivity, love, inner peace, oneness, a good development & sense of Self, inner strength, true confidence etc. etc.
Nor does it leave any space for each child's own pace of development and each's needs and wants. The child has to fit a predefined mould and if the child doesn't fit in that it is being made to fit in.
This is basically how all of us have been raised in various degrees of that scenario.

And also varying per country, for instance what you say is going on in India. But I've never understood the US schooling system. If (wealthy) parents want their future child -it is often not even born or made yet- in a specific school with a good reputation, they have to jump through hoops as parents to get their child in that school. Before it's even born?
Also this scholarship programme... I suppose it has benefits, but it also means that if someone gets such scholarship based on physical prowess (sports) and he/she gets an injury they're bleeped as they will lose their scholarship.
That's insane!
It's a system that forces people to perform, status, ego, and so on.
It's all part of the old patriarchal system that revolves around imbalanced masculine energy.

I've never understood parents -regardless where- that demanded a certain education of their kids, which is basically only to please the parents' ego. What about the kid and what he/she wants and needs?

I don't think it was ever that bad over here, although the system also has been overly focused on the performing, grades, etc. and not enough on the other important things to balance it (mentioned above, healthy development & sense of self, inner strength, care & love, being seen for who you are & not judged for what you can do and how well you perform, and so on).

I'm not certain as my kids aren't in school anymore but I do think things have begun to change. But not nearly enough. Which I think is because the older generation that develops the school systems, and the stuck old f@rts in government that control this system and how it should be, doesn't understand what's required.
Plus, then there's the international pressure: a Dutch secondary school or university cannot alter it's menu too much as then it's not compatible anymore with for instance UK, US, German etc etc. schools of that level. It'd render the value of a diploma to 0.
It's just a stupid system.
The result is that a great number of teenagers that still have to go to school (mandatory by law) just don't do anything anymore, skip school, turn to blowing, lose interest and zest for life even.

So yeah... it's a complex thing.

As for the kid... if the girl wanted to do this herself, without any coercing and forcing from parents/society then it's great. Otherwise not so much.
It would nevertheless probably be good to also teach this child other things that are valuable, aforementioned stuff.

There are actual case studies on this subject, many made decades ago.

I recall watching a documentary on child stars, Shirley Temple was one focused subject. It was a rather old documentary.

Ignoring the current subject models, there are a few things which must be considered when evaluating the impact of fame on a childhood.

1. Most importantly is the driving force behind this need for fame. Is it the child's idea or someone elses?

2. Is there a balance in the child's life? Does the drive for fame outweigh the drive for play?

Is it the child's idea or someone elses?
While it is important for a parent to guide their child but when the reason for a path is for the parent's benefit over the child's, it will affect the child's development in negative ways.
In any assessment of this nature the most important factor is The Reason For...

Does the drive for fame outweigh the drive for play?
Children and young adults (teens) need unscripted experiences to build healthy relationships. Regardless of the driving entity, Mistakes must be made for the child to learn. Surprises must happen for the child to know how to deal with the unexpected.

History is full of mentally unbalanced individuals who were famous as children. It is also full of well-balanced people who were also famous as children.

The road to fame often requires a sacrifice. Fame tends to change people (no matter the age) but fame is a temporay social condition.
How important is your primary school spelling bee award when you are 40 years old?
How many people actively watch and adore Shirley Temple?
Do you think Albert Einstein, Alan Turing or Stephen Hawking started out to be famous or became famous later in life? Do you think their parents specifically partnered to reproduce and create super-intelligent offspring?

A way to measure the condition is to remove the child from the environment. If the child still functions as a child, chances are the path to fame is being handle effectively but if the child can't cope with being a child, something is wrong.

Thanks Crystal, Tom, for the insights.

I have mixed feelings for child actors because even as adults, I don't think movie actors can call their life, their own anyway. Then again, many of us are brought up to please our parents; wives; employers and so on; till one day we retire and say, 'Hey, what happened?'


Came across this video - and I'll admit, this altered my opinion of young teens. Jaden in this video is 14.

Topic: Kids Envision Fuel-Efficient Cars of the Future - from: Disney's Create Tomorrowland XPRIZE Challenge

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T2V1ay3Xo2w

There's one on car powered with compressed air, and the kid has a solar panel on the roof to run a compressor. with an MIT professor evaluating it.

10 to 14, kids can think? hmm.

Yes, I chose to use child actors as the example but it extends to any number of fields.

The same concept is involved in a personal (non-social) example as well.

I'll try to explain...

Children are often put under pressure to continue family traditions and/or religious traditions.
Sometimes parents can create discipline schedules which do interfere with natural child development.
The demands of the parent(s) happens so early in life and to such an extreme degree, the child actually adopts compliance to please the parent(s) instead of for a personal fulfillment.

The public doesn't hear about these instances unless they become so exaggerated they become a social concern. Many never become public knowledge.

For example: "My grandfather was a cop, my father was a cop, I'm a cop so I need to make my son a cop." The child, being constantly groomed to be a cop adopts the morals and habits of cops. Later in life, when the child realizes he doesn't really want to be a cop, it causes mental conflict. Choosing to be a cop is a lot different than being 'groomed' to be a cop from an early age.

Substitute 'cop' for any endeavor. Quarterback, goalie, particle physisist, concert pianist and so on.

I chose to become a mechanic. I've worked with people who were forced to be mechanics because their parents and grandparents were. They hated being a mechanic. In contrast, I loved it.

There's also the parents who attenpt to live their lives vicariously thru their children. "I threw my knee out during high school so now you must take the gold." It happens quite often in sports and beauty pagents.

Being a wise parent means you pay attention to your child and notice what they areadept at doing. You notice how much enjoyment they gain when they are doing thosethings they like and you direct them to all the aspects of that interest and the disciplines needed to become proficient at those interests. It allows the child to amplify the natural gifts they have themselves. The good parent then supports their child's unique interest development to allow the child to be all they can be.

I did this with my children and I notice they do this with theirs. Its the freedom of self-expression.

'Wise parenting' - nicely explained -

Accidentally, I revisited the old movie: 'Death of a Salesman' and truly moved by the main character but it also reflected how the son he propped up in his teens turned to be a failure. I think it does say something about 'un-wise parenting'.

For those who may not have seen this movie, I suggest seeing the original film:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LO8q2_SiOQM

Netflix did not grab it because there are a few more versions of this movie / play.

All those curious about Crystal's view on Rainbow Children, I think Madeleine gives a nice intro:

https://madeleinestanev.com/2020/01/22/indigo-crystal-and-rainbow-children/

This comes under the category: New Age ideas that include mindfulness and so on. What I enjoyed most was the possibility that this conversation was possible because Sparkling Crystal is - possibly a 'fallen angel from another planet'. We know Tom is.

Oh boy, I'm certainly no angel.
All I am is an opinionated, rational, realist.
I have a knack for being able to step away from inner delusion and see things from an 'outside' perspective.

My childhood was the polar opposite of what this thread focuses on.
I was basically ignored, left to my own devices, during my childhood. I was provided for and lectured when I made poor choices but never guided to make good decisions.

I left home (ran away) at the start of my senior year in high school. I chose to finish and get my diploma on my own. I chose to go to college on my own and my guidance counsellor helped my with the grants and loans. I chose to join the military.
When I married and started a family of my own, I chose to give my kids something I never had.

My rational clarity didn't really hit full force till I ended up disabled, divorced and alone. I've learned to avoid my common mistakes from gaining life wisdom.
No, I am certainly NOT an angel. Just an experienced person who tries to spread basic wisdom about life.

To this, add; the 'peaceful way' of presentation.

But if you insist, we may downgrade to Saint.
'St. Tom', yeah!

Talk of Trends: Children in Scandinavian countries are allowed to roam around in forests



Daily mail says: With parents

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3302171/Inside-Scandinavian-style-forest-schools-parents-PAY-children-learn-dirty-play-knives-light-fires.html


Picture of kindergarten class in Sweden:




Those days, the convent school I studied was away from city, on a hill; behind were more hills - rocks and shrubs. The school limited boys to 3rd class and then got transferred to the boys school or others. I remember the lunch break, time to roam; and fight. What a life! No playgrounds (in city schools) could compete with those hills.

I'm not a fan of child actors at all. Most that get remotely famous end up addicted to alcohol or drugs.
It is damaging. Look at the movie "Angel has Fallen". The little girl in there -1 of twins as usual- near the end of the movie when her movie mom is carrying her out. The wee one is crying and she's crying for real, as if she's terrified!
I'd never ever expose my kids to anything like that. But many Americans are driven by status and money. It's the same with these ridiculous beauty pageants for children. Should be forbidden by law.


And of course children 10-14 can think! Don't you have kids? My son was already educated himself at a deep/high level at that time, reading things online and YouTube etc.
Children -even younger ones- can come up with unbelievable smart things that can have an adult tongue tied, haha.

And for good measure... you mention pleasing parents; wives: etc... Why only wives?
Usually it's women that do the pleasing, sacrificing their own needs in life.