I remember when online dating started many years ago and it was all new.Back then it was quite different and i believe more effective.Mainly because it wasn't an app for phones.People didn't use it on phones it was mostly used by people
sitting in from of a computer tower at home with a computer monitor and stuff.
I think it was a bit more effective back then because first of all longer profiles was probably more the norm because people typed theyre profiles on the computer and reading a longer profile was less a problem because you didnt read it all on a small phone.Plus it was just starting so people werent jadded with the whole thing.People were just getting used to having more options in meeting different people.But now in 2020 most of theses online dating sites are done on phones using apps so it promotes less effort and shorter profiles mostly dominated by pics and with less written.So how can you find real love and a relationship when your promoting most people with how attractive they look more than what they have to say.I wont mention the other site but there is another popular site that i use and they limit how much you can write in your profile.But they dont limit how many pics you can put.Its like 'sorry you've talked enough but being shallow and posting 20 pics is fine lol.And before this gets too long i'd like to come to my conclusion and ask people what they think of this.In my experience lately when i'm in a dating site i notice that most people tend to stay in the site for months or even years and never find what theyre looking for.Womens are suppose to get like 100 messages per day yet they search for 'the one'(lots of them) but say they havent found it after like a year in a site.How is that possible?Do the math.The get 100 messages per day everyday for 365 days and they didnt find it? The only way thats possible is if theyre too picky.Theres no way around it.So to finish this is Online dating a waist of time in 2020.Lots of men seem to just look for hook ups on there if were to believe what is said and lots of womens seem to just be on there for attention and validation and waiting for a man to fit theyre long list of criteria that they can never find because having so many options made them extremely picky and have unrealistic expectations.So is online dating a useless cycle that always goes the same place?Wich is nowhere lol or is it worth everyones time and effort?

There is no such thing as "Online" dating.
"Dating" requires personal presence of both parties.
Without the face-to-face interaction its something 'other than' dating.

I think that on the dating site there are few men who want and focus their attention on meeting one woman who will interest them ....and vice versa...

That seems to be true.
Kinda like the weird need to 'collect friends' on social media sites.
"Friends" they have never met in real life and are not very likely to.

Some people think more is better but in the search for someone to be in an intimate personal relationship, more isn't really better.
Gathering too many choices can dilute focus and that can keep you alone and lonely.

There's also the condition of "playing it too safe". This is when no match can ever be found because searching is too selective and decisive which does not allow for the unique qualities of someone to actually show before they are discarded.

Then there is the 'indecisive searcher'.
An indecisive searcher dismisses potential matches in the belief that someone better is just a few clicks away. So, they keep searching and searching never realizing they may have found their match but didn't sink enough time or focus into the prospect.

Some people are looking for image enhancers, some for pity givers and some for a quick physical release.

Dating apps/sites are full of a wide range of people looking for what they want but few are able to recognize it when they find it.

Media induced conditioning which causes people to expect instant gratification and selective preferences.

I have to agree with you Tom4Uhere..

It is true that only a few people are able to recognize that it is this special person when they find it..

Hello Aldean .. social media has definitely evolved and more people globally now have access to it There are many people using online dating to fulfill an agenda other than dating . On a free site especially there is little regulation .

If you view it as just a tool to access potential dates then I believe online dating does that . How successful it is depends on personal motivation , expectations and limitations placed on meeting someone to date . I think the issue with selectivity is a reflection of how society has changed when it comes to relationships . Women especially have emerged from historical times of settling to becoming self determining in what they want in terms of a partner and path in life . There are now more options .

When it comes to the selection process .. both need to be genuine and realistic in what they seek. It is very important to meet in person early .. if that is not possible it should be a red flag . Often there can be a connection online but no chemistry in real life .

I can't recall the source or numbers.
But, I believe I read somewhere,
a claim that about 50% of this era's
marriages began online.

Technological advances and economic development around the world have changed the way women and men view the world. Women have emancipated and this changed how they are perceived by men. The fact that practically both men and women from all over the world have access to dating sites has changed a lot in this matter.
Unfortunately, as Blondey111 wrote, many people use such sites for a purpose other than to meet the other person.

A lot depends on what we expect and who we would like to get to know in this way ..I met in this way a valuable man who, admittedly, was not my age because he is now 85 years old, but is an "old-time" man and the way he conducted the conversation and the topics he raised meant that I could listen him for hours ..

Chemistry between two people in the real world is not always from the first sight .. you can feel on the beginning only have a symphaty for someone and if it is not, it can just give birth to a fantastic friendship. It all depends on what we expect .. and whom we will meet on our path..

Yes, I read it too..

i know a woman who married an eningeer she met on the internet

she says she had a good marriage and i guess so

yet after the kids grew up the marriiage disolved and she is perpetually depressed

the motive?

she still has a lot to say


i'd say now ..... spent bullet or dead shell

firing blanks

To me, one problem is, that people here are spread all over the world. And it therefore happens that it is almost impossible to meet every person, you like. Plus, Covid related travel restrictions put the icing on the cake.

This is my second day on here and I've got nowhere near 100 messages a day! Also have to remember a significant proportion of those messages are things like "I want to eat your oyster"... (ok that was the worst one so far, but there have been others along similar lines... And I didn't even have a picture on my profile when I got that one!) So it's not as straightforward as being too picky I don't think, unless having any standards at all is considered too picky!

Welcome to M2 forums, Bubbly Fun!


It takes a lil time to understand the nature of a free dating app/site.
After your skin thinkens a bit, you will be able to discern actual people from the scammers (if you have any intelligence).
Just be careful not to fall into the trap.
It can jade you from seeing the honest and sincere.

Till you gain your 'site sense', I recommend you set your mail filters and use the block/report features.
After awhile, it gets easier to recognize 'not worthy of any of your time' contacts.

Its important to have your own personal standards because it is your life, afterall. Try to remember no response is a response.

Good luck in your searching.

Tom4Uhere i totally agree with what you said in your first comment.Without face to face its not really dating to begin with.

I believe it can work for some ... and others no.

it is not simple ... one becouse we are ...
all not in the same state or country ...
that is what gets some discouraged...

even me ... but you still can try ...
there are thousands of people on here
that don't even use the forums u can find ...

Tks for the responses so far everyone.All very good insightfull points from everyone.I agree with all that's been said.And just to make sure my post isn't missunderstood i'm not putting blame why online dating might not work well on any specific gender.Like someone else said in one post.Online dating only works depending on how people use it or something to that effect.If everyone would be genuine and be upfront about what theyre looking for right off the bat when messaging someone or on theyre profile description it might work better and if people would approach it in a realistic manner and with realistic demands in a partner it might be better but i believe because of the too many choices most people approach it like if it was a genie that will grant them any wishes they want no matter how unrealistic.For example the 60 year old overweight bald man that joins a dating site probably doesnt message a 60 year old women who is overweight with wrinkles but he messages instead a 20 year old who looks like barbie wich is why online dating dont work for him.And vice versa the 40 year old women who is overweight and has 5 kids will only message a guy who looks like brad pitt with no kids and lots of money and younger than her instead of messaging a man the same age who is overweight and works a blue collar job.And in the end i believe thats why most people dont find online dating works for them.The only few people left on theses sites with realistic demands dont find what they want either cause most of the picky people dont choose them lol.

like ur new picture...

I am going to disagree with you ...
some chat here and other places ...
to get to know one another ...
I remember a couple who stayed one on one ...

and planed the meet ... after awhile ...

not saying their names ... not sure what happen after the meet but I do not think it went well ... but they where two lovely people ...
an u new they had a love for one another here even in the forums ... and believed we all hoped for the best for them :>)
hahaha make u think who ? long time ago :>)