If you can be happy without someone, you will be much happier with someone.

If you go out -or online -whatever -with a goal (to be with someone), then you will almost always be disappointed. You literally set yourself up to feel like hammered sheep shiz because most of your interactions will not lead to realization of that goal. That's just doing the math, and it is true for everyone. Some you do interact with will also sense that focus and anxiety -weighty neediness -and that you are not simply happy in the moment.

You want someone to be attracted to YOU -but that focus and anxiety often keeps you from being you. It can seem to others that YOU ARE the focus and anxiety because that is what they sense or experience.

So -make your goal NOT to find someone -even though you would like to -but, rather, to be happy being you -doing what you do -and to interact with others without expectation. Think about how you can positively affect others with words and deeds. Take your focus off you. That expresses confidence to others -which is ATTRACTIVE -after all (and this applies to even the mopiest of people), YOU know you're cool -YOU know you're awesome in whatever way -but nobody can see what you see if you don't let them!

No matter what you think, there are people who would love to be with you! You just have to interact with people and show them who you are in order for anything to happen. Also remember that some are just like you! They think about you the same way you think about them -really!!!! -but they might also think about themselves the way you do -or never meet you because they just don't. It is tougher for people who are not extremely social, but they do need to step out of their comfort zone to move to a better comfort zone. We can get comfortable being uncomfortable about our situation. Besides, two not very social people can then be not very social together -but only if they are social enough to get together.

You can't meet people if you don't meet people -and when you meet them, make sure they are meeting YOU. Then just see where it leads.

excellent song on the subject.... (some WILL say no -but someone will say YES)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoo9Vu1a9bU

Shyness is nice, and
Shyness can stop you
From doing all the things in life
You'd like to
So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
Ask me, I won't say no, how could I?
Coyness is nice, and
Coyness can stop you
From saying all the things in
Life you'd like to
So, if there's something you'd like to try
If there's something you'd like to try
Ask me, I won't say no, how could I?
Spending warm summer days indoors
Writing frightening verse
To a buck-toothed girl in Luxembourg
Ask me, ask me, ask me
Ask me, ask me, ask me
Because if it's not love
Then it's the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb
The bomb, the bomb
The bomb that will bring us together
Nature is a language, can't you read?
Nature is a language can't you read?
So ask me, ask me, ask me
Ask me, ask me, ask me
Because if it's not love
Then it's the bomb, the bomb, the bomb, the bomb
The bomb, the bomb
The bomb that will bring us together
If it's not love
Then it's the bomb
Then it's the bomb
That will bring us together
So ask me, ask me, ask me

I'd read that those men are very down on women due to a perceived bad deal from a divorce, recent breakup, etc.

First off you need to understand that being alone is not a terrible thing. Society keeps telling us that we are broken if we are alone. Stop making getting a partner a goal. If you think you have to be with someone to be happy you never will be. Once I came to realize that being alone was OK My whole outlook changed. I live my life as though I looked into a Crystal Ball and it said I would be alone forever.
So now I have no expectations and no anxiety over the whole thing. It is truly a feeling of pure freedom. We are told that "We are not meant to be alone" Really? says who? Nobody and I mean Nobody actually "KNOWS" what we are meant for. Go out and LIVE your life! You do not NEED anyone! Stop looking and you will be amazed at the free feeling you get.

Talk to a relationship therapist! Maybe one can give you insight on how to get a female.

https://youtu.be/ab7NyKw0VYQ

You will have all the attention lol

Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Make good friends.
Friends are there when it may not work out.

You have to have alternate forms of entertainment. Something that eats up your spare time. I was the quiet kid in school that everyone decided to pick on. Instead of getting beat down trying to fit in, I started riding motorcycles. Between riding and fixing them, it kept me away from experiments with drugs or alcohol. Also kept me from being depressed over not dating.

At that time, however, bikes weren't the hot ticket with girls. Seemed like they all knew some doofus who'd gotten hurt or killed on one. So it was taboo. I wasn't going to stop just because of their irrational fears. And none were really ever special enough to quit riding for them.

54 years later, I'm still anxiously awaiting for the snow to melt, so I can get back out for another riding season.

i have have a lady