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| Topic: You REALLY know you're from Italian when........ | |
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You REALLY know you're from Italian when........
Author unknown You're a 5'4" male, can bench-press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, and still cry when your mother yells at you. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit 2 mortadella "sangwiches", 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular paper lunch bag. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 black Mercury. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, tailor, barber, accountant and travel agent all have "THE" in their name. ie: (Sam "the" electrician or Pete The Barber) You consider dunking a pack of Stella D'Oro "S" cookies in milk as a nutritious breakfast. You live in a 900 square foot bungalow, but still have 2 kitchens (one in the basement). Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law. You are a VIP at more than 4 after hours clubs. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All 5 of these cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother. A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor. If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his mother had an affair. There were more than 28 people in your bridal party. You netted more than $50,000 at your First Communion. And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when... You eat Sunday dinner at 1:00pm. You know what a riceball really is. You have pasta on Sundays and Thursdays. On Christmas Eve...only fish. You have a gold chain with a cross and your horn. You pick up a baseball bat kept behind the back door, when you hear a suspicious noise during the night. Your Mama's meatballs are the best. Your favorite movies are: Godfather, Goodfellas, Bronx Tale, The Last Don and Moonstruck. You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you. Plastic on the furniture is normal. You know how to pronounce "manicotti." You've called someone a "mamaluke." You own a Pinky Ring, and you understand, "Bada Bing, Bada Boom" |
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Don't you mean Italy? Haha sorry I had to....
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Don't you mean Italy? Haha sorry I had to.... 
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it's ok she's italy
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ok typo or maybe just a little broken English
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It's ok tonia, I have had a few drinks and in a joking mood... Don't worry about your english, if you can type that you are an A+ in my book!!
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actually i cheated that was cut and paste...
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Edited by
jvc534
on
Fri 12/14/07 08:20 PM
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But you still use great english in your responses! I lived with a Peruvian and a Portuguese last year, the fact that you can form the statements in the way you do is great stuff.
On another note I always wanted to learn Italian but my college doesn't teach it! |
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Edited by
rara777
on
Fri 12/14/07 10:03 PM
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Some of my best friends growing up were Italian...When you said about the 2 kitchens in the house and one is in the basement,that brought back some great memories.One time i went to my one buddies house. His mama asked me if i was hungry? I told her no thank you, I wasn`t hungry. His mama looked like I hit her with a baseball bat. My buddy took me outside and told me: Ed, when my mama asks you if you want something to eat, you eat. He told me that I had offended his mama. I went back in the house and told his mama, that yes I would like to have something to eat..She broke into a great big grin and gave me the best lasagna I ever had...I learned a tradition that day, and yes my buddy`s mom had 2 kitchens in the house. You guessed it the second kitchen was in the basement.
Another buddy of mine that is Italian, when we were kids, we knew when his mama was making Pizzelles. We would hang out in the back yard like a pack of dogs begging for them. Of course she only made them one at a time because she used a pizzelle iron, and thats the only way you could make them. Geeze, I miss those days. |
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I was born here... And I love America and wouldn't live anywhere else... but The lack of tradition kills me.... And the longer u live here the more those days just become a memory and not a reality.... that is what I miss....
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Edited by
Rapunzel
on
Sat 12/15/07 10:30 AM
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i am full blooded Italian Sicilian
 and while some of the things you mentioned may be correct in some families certainly not in all of of them  and i do not appreciate many of the comments  i think they are derogatory  and other cultures certainly stick up for their heritage and i am here defending my integrity and my family's heritage 
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Edited by
Rapunzel
on
Sat 12/15/07 11:21 AM
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You REALLY know you're from Italian when........ Author unknown You're a 5'4" male, can bench-press 325 pounds, shave twice a day, and still cry when your mother yells at you. You carry your lunch in a produce bag because you can't fit 2 mortadella "sangwiches", 4 oranges, 2 bananas and pizzelles into a regular paper lunch bag. Your father owns 5 houses, has $300,000 in the bank, but still drives a '76 black Mercury. Your mechanic, plumber, electrician, tailor, barber, accountant and travel agent all have "THE" in their name. ie: (Sam "the" electrician or Pete The Barber) You consider dunking a pack of Stella D'Oro "S" cookies in milk as a nutritious breakfast. You live in a 900 square foot bungalow, but still have 2 kitchens (one in the basement). Your 2 best friends are your cousin and your brother-in-law's brother-in-law. You are a VIP at more than 4 after hours clubs. You have at least 5 cousins living in the same town or street. All 5 of these cousins are named after your grandfather or grandmother. A high school diploma and 1 year of community college has earned you the title of "professor" among your aunts. You are on a first name basis with at least 8 banquet hall owners. You only get one good shave from a disposable razor. If someone in your family grows beyond 5'9", it is presumed his mother had an affair. There were more than 28 people in your bridal party. You netted more than $50,000 at your First Communion. And you REALLY, REALLY know you're Italian when... You eat Sunday dinner at 1:00pm. You know what a riceball really is. You have pasta on Sundays and Thursdays. On Christmas Eve...only fish. You have a gold chain with a cross and your horn. You pick up a baseball bat kept behind the back door, when you hear a suspicious noise during the night. Your Mama's meatballs are the best. Your favorite movies are: Godfather, Goodfellas, Bronx Tale, The Last Don and Moonstruck. You've been hit with a wooden spoon or had a shoe thrown at you. Plastic on the furniture is normal. You know how to pronounce "manicotti." You've called someone a "mamaluke." You own a Pinky Ring, and you understand, "Bada Bing, Bada Boom" oh please not funny  my brother is 6 feet two  because of good eating and healthy exercise not heredity and certainly not because of the unscrupulous accusations made here... poor excuse for a joke on someone's elses' behalf. My Dad was 6 feet tall in his prime... my Son is 6 feet tall  good eating.. healthy strong genes we are trim and healthy we are also very intelligent and have lots of class and integrity we do not behave or speak inappropriately as this other poster suggests how dare anyone make statements like that... oh, if it was another more aggressive culture or group that was being put down or criticized or laughed at we would not hear the bloody end of it |
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Edited by
lizardking19
on
Sat 12/15/07 11:26 AM
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did ya hear about the protest by italian americans to end hollywood movies stereotyping them as gangsters? they said "if this doesnt stop somebodys gonna get hurt!"
I kid I kid I'm a jew so some italian can post a good jew joke if theyre very offended ive noticed that jewish mothers n catholic mothers r almost the same thing heh tonia, i'm assuming is italian, otherwise such insensative statements wouldbe more insensative |
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I am Italian. I grew up with my grandmother and we had pasta of some shape at every dinner. My favorite was the stuffed artichokes. Then after dinner we had coffee and talked for hours. Those were the days.
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Edited by
lizardking19
on
Sat 12/15/07 11:28 AM
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now what id like 2 know is if Italians from italy consider it ok for america-italians 2 say stuff like that.... hmmmmm?
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thank you
i remember stuffed artichokes yummy 
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They are both Italian.
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Edited by
Rapunzel
on
Sat 12/15/07 11:44 AM
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i don't know if she is Italian or not,
Lizard King but, you see my comments ... If she is Italian, she needs to be made aware of all  the many splendid artistic contributions and accomplishments of the Italian people, and truly respect her ancestors not paint us out to be anything other than the proud people we are and if she is not Italian she needs to be more loving, knowledgable and respectful to other people's cultures and not make other nationalities the brunt of her sick humor |
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did ya hear about the protest by italian americans to end hollywood movies stereotyping them as gangsters? they said "if this doesnt stop somebodys gonna get hurt!" I kid I kid I'm a jew so some italian can post a good jew joke if theyre very offended ive noticed that jewish mothers n catholic mothers r almost the same thing heh tonia, i'm assuming is italian, otherwise such insensative statements wouldbe more insensative the first joke is very cute  ...and true i try to be careful and respectful of other people's cultures.. and people like George Carlin can get away with ranking on people, cause he ranks on everyone including himself...
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Rapunzel... If u r offended I don't know what to tell u.... I am not appologizing... I and many of my Italian friends found nothing but humor from this...
If this offends u I am sure that with the freedom of speach that we are granted by living here... well It will not be the first or last time... Relax.... |
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