In an article I read here https://flowingdata.com/2019/03/13/how-people-meet-their-partners/

Couples are around 2.5x more likely to meet through a friend than online. And as I think a lot of us know, making friends as an adult is hard, especially for homebodies. So we take to the internet in search of love only to be met with an onslaught of bots, scammers and the like. So why don't those of us that are human take to making friends of the opposite gender? Because even though someone may not be for you, they may know someone who is! I stand by there being someone for everyone simply because there are too many of us for that not to be the case.

So by just increasing the amount of people you know and can get along with, you can increase the amount of people you come in contact with giving you more of a chance to find someone you click with. If you're a weirdo like me and you'd rather take a nap with your dogs than go out to a bar, you pretty much have to find a way in increase your acquaintance network.

So instead of just trying to get in someone's pants right of the bat (which is fine if that's all you're after I guess) Why dont we get to know each other? Maybe you're a jerk but you remind me of someone I know who is also single that would eat that up. Anyway just trying to bounce ideas off you guys. ️

It’s still just statistics and probability, kinda like online searching.

Because it compartmentalizes and restricts a potential relationship, creating false boundaries and restrictions.

IMO it's kind of like asking "why not train people on bicycles before granting them a commercial license to drive semi trucks?"


If you read the article you know that isn't true.
Maybe if you typed "among all currently existing couples, having met anytime in the past 60 years, the majority of current couples answering the survey met through a friend than online."

But, based on the article (it says so near the bottom and there's a link to another chart) you are "now" more likely to meet someone via the internet.
Although "through a friend" is second.


That seems obvious from the op.
You said it yourself:
"making friends as an adult is hard..."
If making friends is difficult, why create 2 difficult tasks? Of trying to make a romantic relationship and also make a friendship? The more you spend on one, the less you can focus on the other.

Someone can make a terrific friend, but a terrible partner.
Someone can make a terrific partner, but isn't that great of a friend.
There are inherently different value systems in the relationship type hierarchy.


That's a game people play with themselves.
Who exactly are you?
Is it the you that you tell people you are? How you act on dates? How you act when no one is looking? The you when you're faced with changing conditions outside of your control? Or the you sitting in your comfortable room in front of a computer where everything is under your control? The you that other people think you are based on their interpretation of your communication and behavior in their experience of you?

How long does it take to "know" you? Do you get to judge that for them? Or do they get to judge that for themselves?

Which is more important: They get to "know" you (to whatever degree determined by whomever) or that they value what they think they know about you and respect it, even if it's not all that much "knowing?"

Not to mention, people change. People have minor experiences in their life that add up into straws that break the camels back and create significant changes in personality, at any point, at any time. And there's the whole hormonal influence. Such as sex hormones during initial attraction inherently make people more gregarious and friendly.
But those wear off.

"Get to know me (first)!" (along with "friends first!") is just a game asking for a guarantee and precommitment. Asking for attention and ego stroking.

Little different than a t.v. network coming out and saying "ok, we need you to sit around and read our wikipedia on this show that we're going to produce in the future that you might like."

You want someone to "get to know you?" or be your "friend?" Be someone worth sticking around and getting to know, entertain them, be exciting and worthwhile and do interesting and worthwhile things that draw them to pay attention to and give a crap about your show.

"Getting to know" and "friends first" is part of the organic process realized in hindsight that's what happened. Not something you should beg for before hand and hold it up like some kind of ideal.

That's why not "friends first."

You have great understanding of humans.

Who came up with this ridiculous statement "there is someone out there for everyone".It is a well accepted fact that there are many people who do not want "someone" in their lives.I think many of us would agree that there are people out there whom no sane person would have anything to do with in terms of having a relationship.Even if the statement was theoretically true,what use is it if "my someone" lives on the other side of the globe ?

They do say that nearly a third of all marriages today here in the UK are people who first met on the internet, so it does work for a lot of people. To increase your chances of meeting someone join more dating sites, many more if you are not one for going out a lot and meeting people that way.

Welcome to Mingle2 and good luck in your search.

Many of my past girlfriends were 'friends first', in that we were exclusively dating, but no sex for X amount of days/weeks, or until she was ready. There was no difference before or after, just more closeness after. Until one of us broke up for whatever reason.

One was an actual friend I had forgotten about, (old mate's ex girlfriend), and we met again years later. The same rules applied; be friends and be patient. We had many good years.

People with children usually want to set a good example, and not be seen as promiscuous.

Joseph and Mary were supposed to be 'just friends' first; but someone couldn't wait.

Dating is the best to start with and its up to the couple to decide to take it intimate. But I for one would rather just date more of an active partner but no intimacy involved so that you get to know each other. I think you will be able to know within 2 to 3 times of dating if there is chemistry enough to go all the way

You can meet someone online but here is my advice.

Don't judge based on profile alone, some people suck at that.

Lower your expectations. Many people think too much of themselves and look for a partner out of their league.

It doesn't hurt to give someone a chance who you might not normally look at.

Talk online for awhile, get to know each other with no pressure.

1/3 of all first meets from the internet,
result in some sort of sexual encounter.

That pretty my sums up 2009 2010 for me lol and my rate was a lot higher lol but yeah its like most just seem to want sex or something like that.

True, scammers know how to write some of the best profiles

Exactly, couldn't have put it better meself.

I want to meet 3 ladies right away !

I completely understand you logan.
Not easy both ways online and real world. I dont have friends. Socially
Im a homebody. So what now? Im here and hoping to find someone.

Really? I am so shocked! My experience was 3/3.

i want to meet you!!!!!

Eric darling, I have already invited you. I'm batting 100%, don't fail me now.

yes ma'am