Topic: dating goals
Wylie's photo
Mon 01/07/19 07:11 PM
Edited by Wylie on Mon 01/07/19 07:21 PM



Actually, that has happened a few times since my marriage ended.
Each woman had qualities I admired at the start but after spending 'normal' life with them, I found out they were lying about who they were.
No better test of honesty than time on target.



Seen that movie and sequels just gets old!

Yeah they do!

For the longest time I thought women couldn't exist without lying but I actually found one that doesn't exist that way.
Oh, there was a rocky start, caught her in a lie but we talked about it and I found out it was fear that caused her to lie.
Granted, I catch another, she's a history lesson but so far so good.

Its not fair to US for me to expect her to lie to me.
The thing about a liar - THEY ALWAYS TELL ON THEMSELVES, ALWAYS.

I live in a little Podunk and it sure seems gals here grow up getting away with a lot. It's said if you let one slip away you're back in line again.

I avoid the locals for the most part, keeps conflicts clear of me and mine.

Exactly, there are always slips or a tells.

They end up distanced friends at best once they've buried themselves, I just don't need it.

Toodygirl5's photo
Mon 01/07/19 07:26 PM

Tom wants to have one meet with a woman, then live together the next day.



Hi Cat there's a nice guy on here from Idaho ! smile2 waving

Dodo_David's photo
Mon 01/07/19 07:29 PM
I tried making my dating goal, but someone blocked my kick. ohwell

(A reference to the Chicago Bears' playoff loss to the Philadelphia Eagles on 6 January 2019)

Tom4Uhere's photo
Mon 01/07/19 08:01 PM




Actually, that has happened a few times since my marriage ended.
Each woman had qualities I admired at the start but after spending 'normal' life with them, I found out they were lying about who they were.
No better test of honesty than time on target.



Seen that movie and sequels just gets old!

Yeah they do!

For the longest time I thought women couldn't exist without lying but I actually found one that doesn't exist that way.
Oh, there was a rocky start, caught her in a lie but we talked about it and I found out it was fear that caused her to lie.
Granted, I catch another, she's a history lesson but so far so good.

Its not fair to US for me to expect her to lie to me.
The thing about a liar - THEY ALWAYS TELL ON THEMSELVES, ALWAYS.

I live in a little Podunk and it sure seems gals here grow up getting away with a lot. It's said if you let one slip away you're back in line again.

I avoid the locals for the most part, keeps conflicts clear of me and mine.

Exactly, there are always slips or a tells.

They end up distanced friends at best once they've buried themselves, I just don't need it.

Well, ya gotta find what works for you.
Personally, I no longer live in my hometown.
EVERYONE is a stranger to me now.

I think it allows me a certain insight because I see them as they actually are instead of how I learned they might be.

The cold fact remains... You can't build a meaningful relationship on lies.

JustBeHonest's photo
Mon 01/07/19 08:31 PM
I see things kinda like Tom does. I thought every man Couldn’t exist without lying.

I also hope I learned something from every relationship that I’ve had. I try not to see them as failures either. Just helped me realize what I don’t want in a man, especially now that I’m older.

I joined dating sites to find one person who I can spend time with and enjoy life. Hoping for a long term relationship and if we end up living together, that’s ok with me.

I am myself from first meeting and onward. What you see is what you get.

I have met someone but not on mingle2. We have great communication and that’s a good start.

Smartazzjohn's photo
Mon 01/07/19 09:29 PM
It seems that people complicate dating with goal and expectations. I think dating should be simple without unneeded self imposed pressure, but what the heck do I know?

Smartazzjohn's photo
Mon 01/07/19 09:29 PM
Edited by Smartazzjohn on Mon 01/07/19 09:31 PM
oops , the pressure got to me and I double posted!!! laugh

oldkid46's photo
Tue 01/08/19 05:40 AM
It seems there should be a question on your profile "what are you looking for on here". The 2 different ideas or purposes of dating do not seem to be comparable.

JustBeHonest's photo
Tue 01/08/19 06:23 AM

It seems there should be a question on your profile "what are you looking for on here". The 2 different ideas or purposes of dating do not seem to be comparable.


I think that’s something you discuss once you meet someone you’re truly interested in.

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Tue 01/08/19 08:10 AM
Edited by I_love_bluegrass on Tue 01/08/19 08:20 AM


I think that’s something you discuss once you meet someone you’re truly interested in.


Maybe...but, *I'd* appreciate knowing we were both looking for the same thing before I even start chatting..
I don't need more male friends...I have those..they spend weekends and holidays with their spouse/ GF/ family...as they should, but, that donesn't help me any..

If someone is just looking for nookie...or just a FWB...or just a person to see occasionally (while they are looking for someone long term, a good placeholder until they find the person they want to date seriously)....nope.

We all want different things..and that's fine..
Just be with someone who wants what *you* want......it works better that way...

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 01/08/19 11:45 AM
I like dating, however, I date for fun doing things together and enjoying getting to know the man better. I don't do FWB because I am seeking a Exclusive Relationship.

This works for me, and I have had Nice dates from another date site geared for actual dating.

Mingle2 is free so I socialize on Forums at times.

JustBeHonest's photo
Tue 01/08/19 11:47 AM



I think that’s something you discuss once you meet someone you’re truly interested in.


Maybe...but, *I'd* appreciate knowing we were both looking for the same thing before I even start chatting..
I don't need more male friends...I have those..they spend weekends and holidays with their spouse/ GF/ family...as they should, but, that donesn't help me any..


We all want different things..and that's fine..
Just be with someone who wants what *you* want......it works better that way...


Well profiles usually give you an idea what they are looking for. Dating, friends, intimate encounter, relationship. Pretty self explanatory on most.

I_love_bluegrass's photo
Tue 01/08/19 12:09 PM


Well profiles usually give you an idea what they are looking for. Dating, friends, intimate encounter, relationship. Pretty self explanatory on most.


Apparently not....based on what oldkid46 said....ohwell

Toodygirl5's photo
Tue 01/08/19 07:51 PM

It seems that people complicate dating with goal and expectations. I think dating should be simple without unneeded self imposed pressure, but what the heck do I know?



laugh

oldkid46's photo
Wed 01/09/19 07:25 AM




I think that’s something you discuss once you meet someone you’re truly interested in.


Maybe...but, *I'd* appreciate knowing we were both looking for the same thing before I even start chatting..
I don't need more male friends...I have those..they spend weekends and holidays with their spouse/ GF/ family...as they should, but, that donesn't help me any..


We all want different things..and that's fine..
Just be with someone who wants what *you* want......it works better that way...


Well profiles usually give you an idea what they are looking for. Dating, friends, intimate encounter, relationship. Pretty self explanatory on most.

Should be simple if you do that but....definitions????
Dating - let's go for a beer? Let's go to dinner? How about a movie? Means you are open to those things and others.
Friends - get acquainted and date regularly
Intimate encounter - Hookup
Relationship - want to live together at least similar to marriage.

Therefore, if I ask you for a date, as long as I want to do something you would enjoy and you think it is safe to go with me, the answer should be YES. If a couple dates are comfortable and we get along, we might become friends. If you say you are looking for an intimate encounter and I'm physically appealing to you then when I invite you to spend Saturday night, the answer should be YES. If you are looking for a relationship, you want an exclusive, committed situation and unless you view me as that potential, the answer should be NO.

Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to work that way. Must be a bunch of people that aren't willing to do anything other than get attention from others.

no photo
Wed 01/09/19 11:17 AM
:thumbsup:

no photo
Wed 01/09/19 01:48 PM
I guess I am lucky, I just say it as it is (without being rude) and if it works, it works, if not, doesn't matter. The secret is to have lots of friends and see what happens. If something exciting happens, then the others remain as friends, no sweat.

FredoniaDaydreamer's photo
Sat 02/09/19 01:01 AM
Edited by FredoniaDaydreamer on Sat 02/09/19 01:12 AM
Interesting thought process from everyone!
For the mostpart, I tend to agree with MK & JustBeHonest. I believe you both must be honest and just be yourselves. You both need to have some similar interests. I like starting in the beginning with a man. Have fun and enjoy each others company. Take time to really get to know each other. If it doesn't work out romantically, you have made a new friend.

Relationships are like reading a book. You don't read it by skipping chapters. If you don't enjoy it after reading it for a little while, you'll start reading a new book. If you enjoy it, you really get into it and can't put it down. You always look forward to what comes next... :hugging:

Rock's photo
Sat 02/09/19 01:24 AM
50 years into the game,
and somebody finally tells me
that i gotta have goals?
grumble

For the love of humanity!
Why?

frustrated

no photo
Sat 02/09/19 02:32 AM
Some people need goals, others just drift through life. Do whatever is comfortable!