What if you are dating a chap, who is quite shy as well? Some smiling contest?

If you're dating, you've moved past the initial introductory part so someone initiated it already.

I think if you're both shy, it could take a while before one of you finally stepped up to the plate initially.

I talked so long on the telephone, after emailing first for a while !!

So I guess my meetings are much different than yours or some other women.

Because they traveled. I want to put it all out there so they don't waste time finding any surprises when they get to my City. Plus I am older and meet Men my age range.

Communication is the Key to distance dating potential.

LDR don't work for most men.. just look at some Posts on Mingle2
Tells you that.

That's a good point Toody, I'm more referring to those you meet in the face to face world, not online.

Online, especially in the forums, there's interaction before meeting face to face. That changes the whole dynamics and if I were to meet someone I regularly interact with here and speak with on the phone, it would be an entirely different reaction when we meet face to face. At least that's what I'm thinking.

Going out into the face to face world and initiating conversation with someone I'm attracted to but don't really know are the times when I've froze. I haven't really experienced that same "getting stuck" feeling with online interactions.

Okay. But you could start dating online, Skype or someting like that. The first face to face contact might still be tricky, if both are shy.

Yes, it could be... have you experienced that?

Not yet. But I guess, I would sink to the floor. Because I am pretty shy

Well hopefully she'll let you know for sure, then you'll feel more comfortable skyping with her and talking on the phone. I think you do pretty well in the forums with letting the ladies know how you feel, so I'm sure even with your shyness, you'll be that prince she's looking for

Seen a reply post here about sexual harrassment.

I've dated Professional men in my years but not at Work.

Even though most men at my Work were Professional.

Workplace dating usually don't Mix well.

Yeah. It needs a bit of an icebreaker. But once the ice around me is broken ... in a gentle way ... everything is possible. Ty for your kind words

Signed. I dated a girl from work once. Ended up marrying her. Well, we know the rest

I usually aren't nervous for a meet & greet. It's a low emotional-investment thing. You don't know each other yet, you got nothing to lose.
It's when you like him, like each other. Then it gets more difficult. And yep, low self-esteem. I got much much better at it, but 10 years with a narcissist have left a mark.

Also in settings where you haven't talked online already, like seeing a nice guy somewhere in the real world, and then initiating... THAT I too find difficult.

It's not being scared of the man you want to date, not for me at least. It's the problem that you want to get it too right. You want to be perfect. Which doesn't work.
I've also gotten better at it, but since it's not something I do that often, it's not a skill you really practice.
That's why training yourself to make it easier so you loosen that 'muscle' more would help. It DOES help, I've done it before. And it's actually a lot of fun.
As it is I cannot bring myself to it just yet. The assortment I come across isn't really inspirational either, hihi.
The ones that could be a potential date/match tend to either live far away, have young kids (often living with him), or are anti-smoking.
I think I'm just not quite ready yet.

My English teachers were like that too. BrE only.
When I was an English teach, I insisted on BrE as well.
If you can do BrE, you can also do AmE. (AmE is much easier on our Dutch voice boxes).

Yes, I can relate!

Training and practicing I think is important, especially for those of us who have had traumatic experiences. Much of what I have felt in the past felt more like a PTS reaction now that I think about it more.

Practicing and training yourself will help to address the trigger points for when those brakes suddenly go on and it will be easier to tackle it and disengage the trigger that flips that switch.

Then again... I guess if we were to meet that particular one who rocked our World... that oh so wonderful feeling would be enough to throw those brakes and switches right out the window

Some day! In the meantime, I will lighten up, quite being so tough on myself and have fun with this little training adventure

Sexual harassment isn't just in the work place.

And being in the middle of nowhere surrounded by mountains with no car, if a nice man from a different department wants to take me out on a date... Heck yeah I'm gonna say yes! Nothing wrong with casual dating or platonic dates... it's when it becomes romantic that problems can develop.

Actually, at both YMCA's, the one at Snow Mountain Ranch and here is Estes Park, quite a few of the seasonal workers who come here from all over the World end up meeting someone at work and they get married. One of my bosses just got married in October, she married one of the other employees.

So it can happen, despite the bad rep employee dating has.

You're welcome Larsi

River, Thanks for initiating this, and other thought provoking and engaging topics.

This is an anecdotal ancient happening, from my virtually non-existent experience. My male buddy and I were having a bite, and our server at the restaurant was a female of our approximate vintage. My friend... though already dating someone... was apparently feeling frisky, and proceeded with trying to playfully charm her. Collaterally, I listened to what she was saying, and talked to her out of genuine interest in what she was saying. My pal had an agenda, and before we left, he asked for her number. She seemed reluctant but gave it to him. He called her, and at some point in their conversation she asked about me. His sense was that she liked me. I don't think he ever dated her, and I wasn't really interested in dating her.

I think my point is, that it ain't as simple as: Woman initiates by sending subtle signals, and only a man with big enough nads to approach her, gets and is worthy of her attention.

So you could be married by the end of the season, haha. Who knows, right?
It can happen fast, if it's the right match.

Thanks Techno for your input and you're welcome!

I agree, it's not as easy as that. Sometimes I wish it were.

I'm thinking your friend's intention was to set you up :)

So what would it take for you to ask a woman out on a date?

Does make me wonder if she actually gave him a signal?
Sometimes men mistake being nice & friendly & polite to be a signal she's interested in him. For some reason I get that a lot, and I can say it's really annoying that when you're just being polite you end up getting harassed.
I wonder if your friend had been less full of himself whether he would've noticed the girl wasn't interested in him. Could even be he was fully aware of it but didn't want to lose face in front of you.