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| Topic: How do you Men feel about women... | |
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You're a big Ham. !  
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You absolutely right & Toody too 
God, you make me feel like a piece of meet Don't misunderstand me... I love it
Well that wasn't my intention, so I apologize. 
I'm just trying to understand why some men are okay with it and some aren't. And if a man is okay with a woman pursuing them, is there a point where she should back off a bit. In other words when is the woman "too pushy" that would cause you to run the other way? I'm just joking I'm very ok with that 
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I'm late coming into the thread, and still at work....so forgive me for not having read the other posts yet.
Personally, I like a woman who takes initiative. I've said as much several times in these forums. I don't like games or guesswork. So having a woman chase me or make her interest very clear is flattering at the very least. I may not be as interested in her as she is in me. Or maybe I had the impression that I wasn't her type. But if she approaches me first, it helps me to clear up any misunderstandings. It also makes me inclined to give her a chance to impress me, a chance to gain my interest if she didn't have it before. What I'm not comfortable with is being placed on a proverbial pedestal. It's happened to me before. I always felt awkward when it happened. I know what I am, and what I am not. So being put on a pedestal (in my mind) is a surefire letdown - eventually it will be apparent that I'm not all that was expected. Unfortunately, I'm the type of person who will try to live up to those unrealistic expectations, which only makes the letdown that much worse. Therefore, I shy away from anyone who treats me like that. |
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I think many of the generalizations about feminine and masculine traits are problematic. Not all men are naturally bold and assertive pursuers. Not all women are naturally demure and happy to passively wait to be pursued. In either case, that doesn't mean there's something wrong with the person. When you develop interest in someone, if that someone isn't approaching you, regardless of yours or their gender, if you don't initiate contact you'll never find out if they're interested in you. Someones gotta be the initiator. Most men are just as susceptible to being hurt and discouraged by rejection as most women are. Yet the general concept has been that men should mostly bear that burden. Because they should be strong enough to face rejection confidently and move on to the next attempt unfazed. I'm for some semblance of shared risk and effort. I would welcome a woman's polite and friendly initiation of contact, and her active participation in advancing any relationship potential. Well said Techno. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I think the toughest part is being the initiator and which one does it, the man or the woman? I guess what it boils down to in the end is how important is it that you get to know that person. If it's important, then you initiate. I suppose! It gets a little more difficult when if you're really shy about speaking up. |
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You absolutely right & Toody too
God, you make me feel like a piece of meet Don't misunderstand me... I love it
Well that wasn't my intention, so I apologize.
I'm just trying to understand why some men are okay with it and some aren't. And if a man is okay with a woman pursuing them, is there a point where she should back off a bit. In other words when is the woman "too pushy" that would cause you to run the other way? I'm just joking I'm very ok with that
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You're a big Ham. !
Just kidding !  
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Either should be comfortable and willing to make the first indication of interest but it is imperative that the one being given that interest must reciprocate in some way if it is ever to move even to a conversation. Playing that "hard to get" card in society today will get you absolutely nothing.
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You're a big Ham. !
Just kidding !
You are cool Toody 
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I'm late coming into the thread, and still at work....so forgive me for not having read the other posts yet. Personally, I like a woman who takes initiative. I've said as much several times in these forums. I don't like games or guesswork. So having a woman chase me or make her interest very clear is flattering at the very least. I may not be as interested in her as she is in me. Or maybe I had the impression that I wasn't her type. But if she approaches me first, it helps me to clear up any misunderstandings. It also makes me inclined to give her a chance to impress me, a chance to gain my interest if she didn't have it before. What I'm not comfortable with is being placed on a proverbial pedestal. It's happened to me before. I always felt awkward when it happened. I know what I am, and what I am not. So being put on a pedestal (in my mind) is a surefire letdown - eventually it will be apparent that I'm not all that was expected. Unfortunately, I'm the type of person who will try to live up to those unrealistic expectations, which only makes the letdown that much worse. Therefore, I shy away from anyone who treats me like that. By pedestal, do you mean you don't like being treated like a king? Games or guesswork isn't fun or nice, it's best to just come out and let the person know you like them. I agree! |
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Either should be comfortable and willing to make the first indication of interest but it is imperative that the one being given that interest must reciprocate in some way if it is ever to move even to a conversation. Playing that "hard to get" card in society today will get you absolutely nothing. My question wasn't about playing hard to get. It was whether men are okay with women pursuing them? Sounds like you're okay with it. |
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Leery is how i feel about it. Hmmm, why's that Rock? A chick that interested in me? Gotta be psychotic or somethin' you're funny
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What I'm not comfortable with is being placed on a proverbial pedestal. It's happened to me before. I always felt awkward when it happened. I know what I am, and what I am not. So being put on a pedestal (in my mind) is a surefire letdown - eventually it will be apparent that I'm not all that was expected. Unfortunately, I'm the type of person who will try to live up to those unrealistic expectations, which only makes the letdown that much worse. Therefore, I shy away from anyone who treats me like that.
I get ya man. I've had this reoccurring condition since my marriage ended and I became available again. Women seem to proclaim their love for me almost right away. Like I'm some sort of high prize. Then, they nearly always, screw it all up in some twisted way? I interacted with the woman I am seeing now for about two hours and she proclaimed her love for me and continues to do so. SHE DOESN'T KNOW ME! Just because I treat other people with respect and am a friendly person, doesn't mean its automatic love? I want the love beyond normal human respect and interaction. Are these women I meet so cheated for basic human companionship that they think basic respect and friendly interaction is above the norm? Don't put me on a pedestal. Don't proclaim love for me unless its me you love. Most people that know me, love me but not me, they love the way I treat them, make them feel and respect them as people. I can't count the number of times that a woman has tried to pressure me into proclaiming my love for her when I don't feel it. What the FECK is that about? In matters of MY heart, I am and always will be the one in control. That's because its MY heart. When I feel it, she will be the first to know because I will scream it from the rooftops. I know this is about how we look at the initial contact. You're comment just hit me tonight. Sorry bout my rant. I'm just so sick of so many women being abused to the point that when they are treated with common decency it triggers a proclamation of love. It confuses things. Makes things more difficult than they need to be. |
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I'm late coming into the thread, and still at work....so forgive me for not having read the other posts yet. Personally, I like a woman who takes initiative. I've said as much several times in these forums. I don't like games or guesswork. So having a woman chase me or make her interest very clear is flattering at the very least. I may not be as interested in her as she is in me. Or maybe I had the impression that I wasn't her type. But if she approaches me first, it helps me to clear up any misunderstandings. It also makes me inclined to give her a chance to impress me, a chance to gain my interest if she didn't have it before. What I'm not comfortable with is being placed on a proverbial pedestal. It's happened to me before. I always felt awkward when it happened. I know what I am, and what I am not. So being put on a pedestal (in my mind) is a surefire letdown - eventually it will be apparent that I'm not all that was expected. Unfortunately, I'm the type of person who will try to live up to those unrealistic expectations, which only makes the letdown that much worse. Therefore, I shy away from anyone who treats me like that. By pedestal, do you mean you don't like being treated like a king? Games or guesswork isn't fun or nice, it's best to just come out and let the person know you like them. I agree! No, not as king, per se. It's more idealistic than that. Making me out to be more perfect than I am. I am far far far from perfect, and I will cave under the pressure of such idolization. |
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No, not as king, per se. It's more idealistic than that. Making me out to be more perfect than I am. I am far far far from perfect, and I will cave under the pressure of such idolization.
Noone can live up to the fantasies of another. Reality, always, gets in the way... |
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I'm late coming into the thread, and still at work....so forgive me for not having read the other posts yet. Personally, I like a woman who takes initiative. I've said as much several times in these forums. I don't like games or guesswork. So having a woman chase me or make her interest very clear is flattering at the very least. I may not be as interested in her as she is in me. Or maybe I had the impression that I wasn't her type. But if she approaches me first, it helps me to clear up any misunderstandings. It also makes me inclined to give her a chance to impress me, a chance to gain my interest if she didn't have it before. What I'm not comfortable with is being placed on a proverbial pedestal. It's happened to me before. I always felt awkward when it happened. I know what I am, and what I am not. So being put on a pedestal (in my mind) is a surefire letdown - eventually it will be apparent that I'm not all that was expected. Unfortunately, I'm the type of person who will try to live up to those unrealistic expectations, which only makes the letdown that much worse. Therefore, I shy away from anyone who treats me like that. By pedestal, do you mean you don't like being treated like a king? Games or guesswork isn't fun or nice, it's best to just come out and let the person know you like them. I agree! No, not as king, per se. It's more idealistic than that. Making me out to be more perfect than I am. I am far far far from perfect, and I will cave under the pressure of such idolization. Yes, I understand and understand what Tom is saying too concerning your comment. No that's not fun, and is very difficult to live up to. It's not real either. |
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No, not as king, per se. It's more idealistic than that. Making me out to be more perfect than I am. I am far far far from perfect, and I will cave under the pressure of such idolization.
Noone can live up to the fantasies of another. Reality, always, gets in the way... 
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Two of my past relationship I initiated. In 1982 I asked my ex husband to join me to a dance club. Later after I was divorced I approached a guy who was in class with me. I knew it was last day and I'd not see him again. We were together close to 3 yrs. They didn't seem to mind.
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Leery is how i feel about it. Hmmm, why's that Rock? A chick that interested in me? Gotta be psychotic or somethin' Why, what's wrong with you? Have you not read any of my posts? |
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Edited by
Unknow
on
Mon 11/26/18 08:48 PM
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Two of my past relationship I initiated. In 1982 I asked my ex husband to join me to a dance club. Later after I was divorced I approached a guy who was in class with me. I knew it was last day and I'd not see him again. We were together close to 3 yrs. They didn't seem to mind. That's cool lilwmn, I don't recall ever asking a guy out before he asked me, but I have initiated interest. It's been about 50/50 as to it getting reciprocated. I remember as a teenager the subject of girls calling boys first came up with the neighborhood gang. Some were saying girls weren't supposed to call boys, it wasn't proper. Others said it was okay. One boy spoke up and said he thought it should be okay. I took that as meaning it was okay to call him, so I did
He said he liked me and wanted to ask me out but since I called him first he didn't want to go out with me... because girls aren't supposed to call boys, it's not ladylike. I was 14 years old... My first rejection with initiating the first call  It scarred me for life
No, not really. But the men I'm looking to meet now had that mindset 40 years ago. It was drilled into them in their childhood. Even the boy who thought it would be okay, changed his mind once it happened! That made me wonder about how many men would do the same today? |
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Leery is how i feel about it. Hmmm, why's that Rock? A chick that interested in me? Gotta be psychotic or somethin' Why, what's wrong with you? Have you not read any of my posts? Yes, quite a bit of them. |
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