This the closest I have ever heard a man describe what a woman wants accurately.

Yes men are visual and they want the one that turns there head. Eye candy. Well until they find out she is missing a few marbles.

Women want the friendship. If you can love being with her, talking about everything and just enjoy being with her then you have a chance of becoming more.

Sadly our society is now pressuring men to look a certain way: toned, ripped, washboard abs. We don’t care as much about this as men do. You could look like Adonis but if al you are thinking about is how to get us in
Not bed then it is u likely you will even stay in the friend zone for very long.

I had been talking online to a fellow from another city for about 6 months. He said he understood my friends first policy and agreed. So we kept talking and finally agreed to meet. Since he had to travel I agreed he could stay here but we would not be sharing a bed.

I had it met him. I most definitely wasn’t going to commit to having sex before he got here. What if he took one look and wasn’t attracted to me? Or the other way around? What if there was something important that he had not told me, like he weighed 400 lbs? What if the friendship we had online just didn’t work in the real world?

So no I wasn’t going to vomit to sex. In one of our last chats he said something interesting. He had been on a date and even though the woman was extremely obese he would have had sex with her simply because he was “horny” - his exact word not mine. He just wanted sedans was wiling to use any woman to do that even one he didn’t like.

That was the end. I don’t ever want to be taken advantage of or feel pressured to have sex. That ever works for me.

And I have to wonder about those friend to lover and the back - how many happened because one person felt pressured into having sex before they were ready?

While the friendship part of a relationship is essential, why would anyone consider a serious friendship with someone of the opposite gender that they didn't find sexually attractive?

Good god.... Do you have any clue what this post says about you?

Really? You have to question this? I know plenty of men that will take advantage of someone, will say anything to get sex. If their only agenda is sex what does it matter who their victim is. And yes I use the word victim deliberately. They don't care for the person. Caring has nothing to do with what they want.

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Just reread what I posted. I think I have to stop posting from my phone. it keeps changing the words I type into other words so that it is hard to make any sense of what I was saying in some sentences.

My thoughts exactly, Old-Geezer..
If I am not going to be having sex with you, WTF do I care what you look like??

I can't even wrap my brain around what oldkid46 said...

Yep..I *too* am over and done with the idea those small-minded bigots have that anytime a woman has a friend that is male...sex *has* to be involved, and...if it isn't...he must be gay..
I know two such men...and I *assure you* they are not gay....I've known both for over 5 years...

I don't know what you think it says but I will elaborate:
1. To develop a friendship with someone (either gender) we must see life in a similar way and have some commonality in our lifestyles. Most women don't and expect a man to accommodate their wishes. I have no interest in changing who I am or my lifestyle to accommodate someone else just for a regular friendship.
2. Most women anywhere near my age have a negative attitude toward sex and would rather avoid it if possible. This is obvious in how they carry themselves, their appearance, and what they say. While some will engage in sexual activities, they do it to support the relationship not because they desire sex.
3. While I do have some female friends, most of whom are married or otherwise attached, I would not consider them serious friends.
4. There is a significant difference between an acquaintance, a friend, and a serious friend. One I will give a greeting when I see them, one I will share a beer, have dinner with, or otherwise socialize with, and one I will do everything I can to help them when they need it and they will for me!

There may be a woman someplace in the world that would actually be a real and serious friend to me, I have never met one yet in my lifetime!!

This is very interesting to me. The attraction to the personality, interests, goals, thought processes is what makes me desire sex with someone more. It's very rare I would desire sex with someone  just for looks or appearance, if at all. I've never looked at a nice looking guy and thought, wow I'd like to do him. It's the whole person that creates the desire for me, most of the time.



When  a guy can actually touch my spirit/soul I want to get as close to him as I can creating that sexual desire.



This is exactly why I need a friendship bond first. It takes time to get to know someone and make those connections. Too many today think that within a few dates someone should know if they want to be intimate with someone. And maybe because they themselves base it off looks. I base it on the whole being.  How much can you really get to know someone in that time frame?

I have met a couple guys in the past. I was not physically attracted to them at the beginning. As I got to know their whole being, it was as though I saw them differently. Even the physical aspects that were a turn off initially I  saw differently after getting to know them. They weren't a turn off, but now became a turn on because of seeing them as a whole of who they were. Does that make sense?

My best friend is a man and I'm nowhere near attracted to him

There is a woman I've been friends with since we were 15 years old. There has never been anything other than banter and light flirting between us. Very little sexual attraction. I adore this woman. She is fun, funny, kind, sweet, and one of the coolest people ever. We've been to concerts, Broadway shows, baseball games, weddings, birthdays, funerals, and pretty much any social situation you can think of, together. She was at my wedding. I'd take a bullet for this woman.

That's because you objectify women.

I don't know why so many of you have a hard time wrapping your mind around this concept. If it is a non-sexual social connection, then you should expect to be treated like any male social friend would. You are not considered or accommodated differently because you are female. If that works for you, then we can be social friends mostly as a group; if you want more, then the romantic/sexual interest must be there!

That's crap. See my example above. Essentially for you, a woman is not a person. I wrap my brain around what you said, and your thoughts on women, pretty damn well. If there is no chance of you sticking your penis in her she cannot be a "true" friend. That is a classic example of objectifying women.

Regarding #1...
*I* am finding guys are this way...they don't give a shi* about commonalities...those morons who say.."all that matters is I am attracted to you..everything else will work out/none of that other stuff is important"..
And, no..these are *not* guys looking just to get laid...they claim they wabnt to be in a relationship..

Also..I am finding the *guys* expect me to change...which i don't understand..
If I am not what you want..if who I am isn't to your liking..then feel free to go bother someone else....I'll hold out for someone more compatible..

I have NEVER tried to change someone to suit me...if there's that big of an obstacle, to *me*...I wouldn't pursue anything with him..

Regarding #2...
And, whether or not that is true...what the f**k does THAT have to do with friendship anyway?
You don't "bone" friends...
I mean..if one of your guy friend had lost interest in sex...would that mazke any difference to you...?
No.
So why should it matter that a woman who uis a friend has no interest in sex?
Unless you have other ideas in mind, and therefore aren't just wanting a friendship with her..but see her as a potential sex partner, and since she's not into that...she's not worth your time...

Deleted duplicate posting

I agree with Geezer.

Oldkid has a right to feel the way he does... although I do not know any self respecting woman who would want a friendship with or without sex with a man who has that kind of attitude or view towards women.

There you are wrong! It is because those personality traits and characteristics that generally define women, I do not find desirable in someone I really want to form a strong friendship bond with. Intelligence over looks; independence over dependence; logic over emotion; emotional strength over drama; success over failure.

Let me know when you meet a woman who is self-confident, independent, doesn't make decisions on emotion, and has mastered her life. This is a woman who needs no one else in her life for anything!

Wow oldkid, you never met an intelligent, independent,logical, self confident, and emotionally strong woman? That seems very odd because they are in abundance. Or maybe you just don't realise they are all or many of those things. Do you assume guys are superior? Just curious.
It sounds like you don't even like women. How are you supposed to find one for you if you don't even like them. Most women want to at least be liked. Lol

If you have really never been around a woman like that it's ashame.

There seems to be the belief among many of you that a woman is special and should be treated differently simply because she is female. Sorry, but that is not equality. While I will open a car door for you and make sure your gown is tucked inside before closing the door, most of the time you are on your own. I expect you to pay your share of an outing. I expect you to hold the door for me part of the time. I expect you to express your opinion on any subject. Unless you are a romantic interest, you are NOT special!!

You need to embrace who you are. At least you'll be honest with yourself.