What to do if your wife continuously ignores your sexual desires even after giving birth to children

Looking elsewhere is not the answer.

You need to put some effort into it. Plan a date, arrange a babysitter. Send the kids to grandmas is even better.

Take your wife out and show her how much you love her. Buy her flowers. You need to show her affection and then she may be more accepting when you want to have sex.

Stepping out is never a good idea so I think Honest gave you some good starters. Sometimes you need to show them you are still attracted.

Have you gave some thought that maybe she no longer has a sex drive? That maybe she is just worn out tired taking care of home, you and maybe working outside the home too? Or maybe she finds herself not attractive any more, body issues. Was the sex good or just a way for you to get your rocks off? Have you tried asking? If you have, have you addressed the issues? Do you take your time to assure she is pleasured and satisfied? Or it could be that after so long, she just not interested in you any more. Before you say avoid check yourself first. Are you trying to better it or just laying back and complaining. A woman who is showered with love returns love. A woman who is made to doubt herself backs away.

there are so many reasons .. how long ago did she give birth? How many children does she care for and how much do you support her ? ... perhaps she is exhausted .. depressed .. does not want more children .. feels unattractive .. the best thing is to talk to your wife and between the two of you , find a solution

Has it occurred to you that she maybe just maybe doesn't like you on these type of websites. Sometimes you just have to stop bitchen about not getting laid and wait till she's ready. And if your going to step out on her have the balls to tell up front. It pretty easy ,honey you know we haven't had sex since you had the baby 7 days so if your not going to give me any I'm going to find someone who will. Are you ok with that? See how easy that was.

Both see a marriage counselor or sex therapist or both.

Perhaps, she's just a little creeped out,
by the fact, that you've given birth.

What not to do: Commit adultery.

My dictated approach,

Perhaps look at yourself in the mirror and see what changes you could make that are easily recognizable. Changes for the better. If you please, we all want to appear sexy, even to ourselves. It gives people more of a swagger and more confidence if they feel sexy. So just imagine how your better half might react to your newfound swagger and sexier appearance. It can't possibly hurt to make these kinds of changes and you have nothing to lose. Also, it's easier to make these changes when you're younger rather than older. When you look in the mirror, don't be easy on yourself because it might be this kind of leniency that got you to the point you're at now. Good luck!

use your hand...

Then talk with her and figure it out which might take some patience on your part...

Okay...
I'm gonna shoot for a realistic approach this time.


If, the most recent child birth was more than a year
ago... Simply speak WITH your wife. Ask her questions
as to how she feels. And calmly, respectfully, allow her
answers.

Ask her, if she still feels desirable to you.
Ask her if there's anything you can do, to help
make her feel desirable.

Women love to be desired, and they love to be cherished.


If the most recent birth was, well, recently...
Be patient. Her lady parts are gonna need time
to heal.

Why are you here?

Hi MK2,

I know it takes a lot more courage to ask a personal question but I think a clarification would help.



Does it mean that the childbirth phase is over? (medically)

If NO, then the answer is obvious.

If YES, then the most logical answer seems to be 'depressed'.
(The question made me realize that we men pamper our children and overlook their mother - in terms of her changed needs.

Listen to her - as explained by Blondey and Rock
)

--xxx--

On the positive side, its generally men who lose interest for a time after childbirth. I would have added "consider yourself lucky"; but the matter is too serious.

All the best

For members who may be interested there's a video I recently came across:

Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
by Alain de Botton, a psychologist
Talks about when one partner is down.. and so on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DCS6t6NUAGQ

One sort of "pre-answer" to this kind of question (there are lots of changes that one might suddenly have to deal with in a marriage), is to begin by figuring out whether you got married honestly or not. And what your vows were.

I like the traditional Christian vows, despite not being a Christian, because they go to the central most important reason and commitment that a real marriage must be.

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for rich or for poor, in sickness and in health," and so on.

Some people forget, or are never asked to make such a vow, and actually only married at all, with the idea that they were exchanging their skill sets for guaranteed "services" of various kinds. Including sex.

And lots of people without realizing it, are so fundamentally certain that sex and love are confirmations of each other, that if sex falls off, it means that love is dead.

Those considerations are part of what a good therapist will review with you, as a starting point to helping you to decide what to do.

If a person in such a situation decides to reach out to others in an effort to get the version of love they expected, from someone else, that will mean they've decided to put SOMEONE ELSE in charge of their own life and of their own beliefs.

I meant its dating site here, if you are married & having problems just because she gave birth, there are a lot of different channels to work on that kind of problem. But obviously the man is looking for green light to tell him, its very ok to get another partner otherwise he wouldn't be here

My best advice is to talk to your wife she may be going through depression since her last child birth and might be something that needs to be brought up to her Dr..

The main thing is you need to communicate with her with no kids around so y'all can talk. Take the time to listen to see what is going on she maybe feeling overwhelmed it does happen after a birth of a child..

Talk to her. If you cannot resolve your issues through genuine and honest communication then seek couples counseling.

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