Let me state this is a *serious* question...
If you want to be rude, or reply with nonsense...don't bother.
There are plenty of other postings to joke with.
Thank you.

I ask this because I have run across more than a few guys on the various sites, or IRL (when the conversation turns to dating), who have ED, and have basically given up on the idea of dating/ meeting someone...because they think no woman will want them...which is sad.


Now, you sex-obessed types (LOL) aside...
This is NOT as much of a problem as some guys think.

There are a lot of ways to be intimate...and, as people are older (in their 60's and 70's), for *most*..nookie is not the main perogative in a relationship.

(If you are over 60-70 and still doin' it every day...good on ya, happy for ya...but this isn't directed at *you*.)

Do you personally know of any guys that have given up due to ED?

Or other disbilities.
We covered disabilties on another posting a bit back...and while many wouldn't want someone with a disabilty...there are *many* disabilties...some that are relatively minor.

And yet...*those* people as well think no one would want them.

So...if a person has something that doesn't interfere with normal daily life...is active, not chair or bed-bound...should they even mention it upfront...?
Or wait until they've the person, and the person can see they're are not that bad off?
(because people have a LOT of preconcieved ideas about disabilities)

As long as someone is able to do the things *I* do...I don't care if they have some disabilty.
I don't hike or bike miles..don't do rock climbing...
Just normal stuff.

For me it depends on the disabilty(ies)

Viagra's patent expired in September. It is now generic, cheaper.

Not having sexual function would be a deal breaker for me, unless they are receiving ED treatment.

I understand, but..as I said..there are a lot of people for whom *that* isn't as much a priority..and those guys just need to find those women...

FWIW..there are actually people who are Asexual..you can do an internet search.

This isn't a thread for ~arguing~ that ^ point, thanks...just merely saying there are people for whom it isn't a priorty, even when they are younger.
I know 2 such people via the internet...that's how I found out it is a real thing.(regardless of what other people think)

I think with age a disability is expected. How the person with the disability chooses to live has a lot to do with their chances of finding someone.
I've have found that as a man loses his sex drive, he is less interested in dating. Guys 40 and under are determined to get a date. Guys over 45 would rather have a sandwich. I've heard a couple of male friends say it.

And that's kind of my point..
Do they lose interest in dating *because* they lost their sex drive...and think no one would want them?

Because the older we get...companionship is more important...
There's a lot two people can share other than nekkid time...

~Sandwich guys can move along...this isn't for/ about YOU~

I wasn't arguing. I was pointing out that men DON'T have to suffer from ED, which causes them not to date. There are treatments available. Not taking advantage of them is NOT A DISABILITY, it is a mental problem.

If they don't want sex, let a woman know in the first conversation.

No disagreement there..
I was referring to guys who just don't care, or have no insurance, or for whatever reason just don't bother.

I know a guy who not only has ED (his *IS* mental...he can masturbate just fine, but getting with an actual woman...it won't work)..but also is pitifully endowed.
I think *his* issue is more embaressment/ shame / insecurity about his lack of size.

*He* has just given up.

You make a good point. It isn't so much what the disability is but how you live with that disability. Another issue is the perception of others and their discrimination based on how they perceive the disability. He/she can't do this because........ you don't know that is the case!! I known several men who are confined to a wheel chair, they are damn good mechanics and have learned how to compensate for their disability. It's like not every man over 65 has an ED problem and it can't be corrected. Nor is every post-menopausal woman sexless.

But what if (like in the case I mentioned)...it's mental, not physical (performance anxiety, anyone...??)
Pills won't help them.

Some people don't feel it is worth it to go to a shrink/ get therapy.
Or they are too embaressed..and, since they are partnerless anyway...they just give up.

Like short guys who have "Small Man Syndrome".
I think all of us have met, or know someone like this..
Counseling won't help them..and most aren't interested in therapy anyway...

You can't fix someone who doesn't want to be helped. That is so very true of most people with mental health issues.

OK, let me clarify.
ED...due NOT to a mdical issue...but due to someone poorly endowed, who has serious performance anxiety.
Their "plumbing" works fine when they *do* themselves..
But, because they know they are really small in that area (they saw so in the gym in school, and some women have made unkind comments)...with a woman?
Nope...it won't "ride" to the occasion.
Embaressment...insecurity...shame...whatever the reason.

Therefore, this person has decided it isn't worth bothering with a GF/ partner.

Sandwich: is 2 girls with the meat in the middle.

Hmm maybe the guys over 40 know what they want.

It really doesn't matter to me either way if a man is able to preform sexually or not. I can live with it or without it.

NO relationship foundation should be based on SEX.

If you are basing your relationship or your ability to have a relationship on your ability to preform sexually then you are selling yourself short.

You can Love and BE Loved whether you have the ability to sexually perform or not.

I know of several people that have healthy and happy relationships/marriages that are sexless relationships/marriages.

It's what is inside a person that you should love not whether they can get it up and get it on in bed.

Not trying to offend anyone but, if you are using a persons ability to preform sexually as criteria for a relationship you are being very shallow minded and could be loosing out on the Love of your life especially if you are in your older years.

Real Tx Girl

That's what i said in my original post.
(more or less)
That there are ways to be close and intimate that do not involve inserting tab A into slot B

I was asking if some guys have given up on meeting someone/ having someone because of an "issue"...as I have run across 2.
(we wouldn't work for other reasons..distance, other things. But we are good friend and talke often.)

When, as you say..there are other things that can draw and keep a couple together..
Different priorities for different people..

If nookie is a Big Deal™ to you, that's fine...go for someone who can fulfill you that way...no harm in that.

Myself, being an older person..like you alluded to...I am more concerned about companionship at this stage..
Anything else would would be an added benefit..

I realize no one would admit on here thay *have* such a problem...but...I feel sad for the guys who have decided they are unworthy/ unwanted because of that..
They just need to find a woman who values other things about a person..

But, those type guys don't frequent dating sites...

I don't see someone openly saying hey I have "issues" but, they may disclose it in private messages. They just need to know there are people out there that realize it is NOT what is most important in a meaningful loving relationship. It is still possible and don't have to give up on dating or meeting someone.

I don't see someone openly saying hey I have "issues" but, they may disclose it in private messages. They just need to know there are people out there that realize it is NOT what is most important in a meaningful loving relationship. It is still possible and don't have to give up on dating or meeting someone.

Very judgmental

Sex doesn't matter to you. That isn't normal either.
Sex IS important in a relationship/marriage, and it isn't shallow to expect it. SEX is the only thing that differentiates a romantic relationship from being buddies/friends.

I see why men don't want anything to do with older women. They ASSUME the women have lost interest in sex ~ the stereotype, not the reality.

Well, isn't it just as "judgemental" to say "Sex doesn't matter to you. That isn't normal either.
Sex IS important in a relationship/marriage"???

I mentioned Asexuals in an earlier comment.
There ARE people who just don't give sex any thought...they range on age from late teens, to older people...
(men and women..so it isn't an "older woman" thing..)
Then there are Demisexuals, for who the concept of FWB, or "casual" sex just doesn't compute...they need an emotional connevtion before they feel sexual towards someone..

And many other variations.
None are wrong.
Everyone is wired differently.

To say "Sex doesn't matter to you. That isn't normal either." negates all those people for whom it *isn't* important...

http://www.asexuality.org/

I was going to ask what ED was. But having read the thread, I know from the context. I don't consider myself to be disabled. But I have gotten disability benefit. I've been diagnosed as a paranoid schizophrenic. And after, many, many, years of no luck with the ladies. Yes , frankly, I have sort of given up. I kind of hate myself for it. But in truth it's sort of easier. Otherwise it's just torture.
Every 1 is at a different mental level to me, they operate on a higher plain. This is clearly apparent. Thus this presents questions. But these are the sorts of questions, which cannot be answered. Thus there is no trust. The old saying, no trust, no relationship , rings true. Unfortunately I cannot even trust myself, let alone others.
I think sex is very important in a relationship. It is after all often sexual chemistry, that draws us together. And if your the monogamous sort, then you won't be getting it elsewhere. And truth be told, if your not happy with your sex life, then your unlikely to be happy.
Anything else is platonic